What If Damian Wasn’t Sent To Bruce By Talia And Instead Decided To Do A Bit Of Early Child-rebellion

Bunny AU for Cryptid :3

Shiny Starly and Shiny Shinx ko-fi doodle for doodlejoltik! ✨

I absolutely love the genre of posts of Damian making up an excuse of how he knows of a Jason Todd to hide the fact he is alive and knew each other in the LOA.

For my take Jason Todd is now the name of the pet fox Damian has at home.

Damian under his breathe: Jason Todd you are the biggest fool to ever live.

Dick magically hearing him: What did you say Damian? Jason??

Damian panicking: I-I uh Jason Todd is the name of my pet fox.

Tim: You have a pet fox?

Dick: You named it Jason... Todd?

Damian: Yes... I was learning English at the time and thought it was amusing to call an animal a name that meant itself. Of course he needed a first name so I named him Jason as I had recently finished the Argonautica.

Not wanting to question his new brother Dick: That's very cute Damian 😀

Once Bruce hears about it.

Bruce: Damian why don't you ask your mother to bring your fox... Jason over?

Damian: uhhh no. He is quite old and would not do well with the long trip. He is very comfortable back home and I do not think he would like any of you.

Jason on the other side of Gotham sneezing.

Later in a safehouse.

Damian: Todd I need you to acquire a fox and send it back home to mother so that I have photo evidence.

Jason: What?

Damian: I may have accidentally send your name in the presence of Grayson and then fabricated a lie that I was referring to my pet fox named Jason Todd.

Jason sighing: What type?

Damian: A melanistic fox. To match your choice in hair color.

-🐳

THIS IS SO FUNNY. batfamily are absolutely concerned and freaking out on the background, which Damian is not aware with—

Dick: that's so scary. why would he name his fox like that? is that what kid do now?

Bruce: ...maybe Talia told him stories of our family, so he wouldn't feel alienated once he joins us, and he took an inspiration?

Tim: oh, come on. had you guys never had a weird obsession with your predecessor and just formed a strange unhealthy connection with him to the point of creating tulpa?

Dick: what.

Bruce: ?

Tim: uhh, anyway. i had seen Damian chatting with Jason Todd contact on his phone. but that's probably these character ai chats, yk?

Bruce and Dick: ?????

*a few weeks later*

Damian, calling Jason in panic: i demand you to work on your revenge plan FASTER.

Jason, in the Red Hood attire, slurping slushie, while playing Uno with his goons: gee, what happened this time?

Damian: i am waiting for my appointment to the child psychologist as we speak.

Jason: excuse me?

Damian: they think you are my... tulpa. whatever that means.

Jason: *dies out of laughter*

Every speedy pokemon in the city trying to keep up with VMax Jolteon 🏃‍♂️

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Star Wars prompt! So there are several Jedi with specific force-granted powers through the unifying or living force. Mace with shatterpoints, etc. But what about someone like Obi-Wan, whose connection was to the Unifying but was trained in the Living by his master? The manifestation of Force abilities as something that is related to both halves of the force, such as seeing auras, etc? (sorry for incoherency)

i did some googling and a lot of thinking; considered and disregarded several options and ended up with this weird little thing:

Keep reading

I, honestly, need Jason picking up Bruce's arguments during fights and using them back on him. In the most unexpected moments. Just imagine Bruce getting mad during another of their patrols, and in the middle of the screaming session, Jason just switches and doubles him with his own phrases.

Jason: Okay, that's enough. You are benched from being my side-kick.

Bruce, flabbergasted: Excuse me?

Jason: You heard me. This is unspeakable violence you are displaying here, by the way.

Bruce: ???

Bruce: You are not going to berate me for smashing CRANE to the wall a few times.

Jason: Oh, why not?

Bruce: That was— That is justified.

Jason: Well, who do you think you are to decide what is justified and what is not? Huh, lad?

Bruce:

Bruce: Hood, that's—

Jason: Am I right, boys?

Tim, chewing on the popcorn: Yep, yep. Also hit him with a "What example are you showing to your little brother?" line for me.

Jason: Noted.

Bruce: ???????

Bruce: This is ridiculous. I can't stress enough how—

Jason: I am not your father to deal with this, B.

Bruce: I—

Bruce: Wait, when did I say something like that to you?

Jason: Before I ran away and died? Lol

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Oh. Shit.

Afternoon light shining through the spring forest.

Yamagata, Japan.

Role reversal AU: Sakura as Orochimaru's student 🐍

(and Sasuke as Tsunade's successor)

Free Me From These Shackles

The first time the JL met Marvel was during an alien invasion in Metropolis. The hero was new, and quite cheery whenever they interacted with him. He was like Superman 2.0., but more red and somehow more of a Boy Scout. In fact, speaking of Superman, the meshed together like peanut butter and jelly. Anyways, back to the point, when they first met him he was new and seemingly, emphasis on seemingly, naïve and inexperienced.

So, they tried to help him, much to Billy’s hidden annoyance. And he was annoyed! He won’t deny that. They were treating him like a newbie!

Like, the time Superman came to Fawcett and started critiquing every single thing he did in a fight against Captain Nazi.

Marvel and Captain Nazi(CN): *fighting*

Supes: *just hovering to the side*

CN: *throws a car*

Marvel: *catches it and puts it down*

Supes: “You know, you could’ve thrown that back at him?”

Marvel: “What?” *gets distracted and last minute dodges a punch, proceeds to fly far away from Captain Nazi*

Supes: *follows after him* “I’m saying you could’ve thrown the car back at him. Or the lamppost he threw you earlier. Or the hotdog stand.”

Marvel: “Why would I do that?”

CN: *flying after him*

Marvel: “What if he breaks it? That’s someone’s stuff. Or what if he deflects it? Property damage can kick your behind. How do you not know that?”

Supes: “Does your city not pay for it? Then again…”

…he was new, Clark thought. It would make sense for the city not to cover him yet.

Marvel: “What? Why would they? Wouldn’t that mess up taxes?”

Supes: “Now that I think about it, it really should.”

Clark was amazed as to how his taxes or rent never went up, no matter how much destruction happened in Metropolis.

Or the time Batman tried helping him diffuse a bomb even though Billy has had plenty experience already. They were at an alien site and trying to diffuse an alien bomb though so he supposed he could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Even if it was annoying.

Marvel: *squats down and rips off bomb lid*

Batman: “Careful.”

Marvel: “Careful what?” *looking at a bunch of wires*

Batman: *peers over his shoulder* “We don’t have enough informa—”

Marvel: “Uh huh uh huh.” *barely listening and snaps a blue wire with his fingers*

Solomon: *blabbling instructions*

Batman: *startles and jumps back*

Marvel: *gives him a look before snapping another two wires*

Batman: *baffled at how they aren’t literally dead, and wondering if Billy’s run into this tech before*

Marvel: *snaps one more wire and bomb powers off* “Alright.” *stands back up* “Man, I am starving. Your city has his joint called Bat-Burger, right? Is it good?”

Batman: “…Yes.” *somehow had a blank face but still conveying that he thinks Marvel is crazy*

Billy honestly didn’t know why he thought so. Sivana’s had more complicated stuff fit for random Tuesdays instead of long, dastardly plots or invasions.

Free Billy from these shackles of people thinking he’s a newbie as if he hasn’t done this longer than them.