Role Reversal AU: Sakura As Orochimaru's Student 🐍

Domestic Espeon (?)

Damian Wayne gets caught by the press while sneaking away and hanging out in civilian clothing with Red Hood and Bruce finding out they know each other isn’t even his biggest problem. his biggest problem is that the interviewer asked what his connection is to the crime lord and why they have on camera the guy calling Damian ‘habibi’, and, panicking about whether or not Bruce seeing this interview could leak Jason’s identity, to throw him off the trail Damian said that Red Hood is his parent.

Interviewer: wait. but… i thought that Bruce Wayne was your biological father?

Damian, panicking even more because both Jason and Bruce would kill him if people thought that Brucie Wayne was the Red Hood’s identity: what, don’t you support trans people? Hood was my mother.

Jason only finds out what Damian did when after a week of confusedly nodding at the trans pride pins people kept wearing and pointing out to him on the street, and Damian refusing to look him in the eye, Nightwing shows up during patrol crying laughing about how Bruce Wayne got asked during a gala about his secret affair with a crime lord and held his champagne glass so tightly it exploded in his hands.

Bruce, on the other hand, got sent the interview clip by Tim halfway through breakfast, whereupon hearing the audio start Damian climbed out the nearest window to get away. after a slightly paranoid text to Talia about whether or not she was in Gotham wearing a face covering helmet every night, be proceeds to freak the fuck out. he has no idea who the Red Hood is, or how Damian knows him. He also has no clue that Red Hood knows HIS identity, and fully plans on showing up to Wayne events in the helmet to antagonise Bruce by stealing food and demanding they talk about the ‘custody arrangements’ of their son. all he knows is that Damian broke a window in his haste to Not Explain Anything, and that Dick and Tim are wheezing hysterically on the other side of the house.

she's been growing on me lately

TRICK OR TREAT!!! Studio Ghibli? Or atla? I've never been able to participate in your prompt fills, hopefully this gets in on time!! Love your writing, love you!

Sophie is a talented witch, so she doesn’t have to do more than glance at Howl before she sighs. “That poor boy is missing his heart.” 

“Like you’re one to talk,” her fire demon grumbles beside her, “You gave me your youth to save me. Which was very stupid, by the way.”

“So you’ve said,” she says, amused. “Many times.” 

She scowls and shrugs, saying, “Maybe we should stick our nose in. Maybe we can help each other, figure out a way to break the other’s curse.”

“And if not, at least your get to talk to another fallen star for a while?” Sophie asks, and before her demon can respond, she barrels forward, “Yes, fine, I suppose we don’t have anything better to do.”

Mace just loving on his grandbaby

when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.

that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.

he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.

the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.

the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.

this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:

-in the chat-

bruce: status report.

dick: hungry :( but good!

steph: seconded, im fine

tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured

cass: ^ same answer

babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell

jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me

.

.

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several people are typing…

Please Don’t Tell Him to Pull up

The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.

JL: *fighting villain on a beach*

Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”

Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”

Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”

They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.

Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*

Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*

Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*

Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*

The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.

Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”

Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”

or

JL: *fighting aliens*

Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”

Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”

5 minutes later…

Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*

Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*

The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.

He loves dramatic entrances.

I feel like Jason and Damian would play DnD together and it started at their time in the League. I believe with my whole soul that Jason is just a big nerd, so I think it'd be cute if he showed Damian how to play DnD so he could use his imagination by playing a "childish game" (Damian's words).

When Damian joins the family, they think that he's sneaking out because he doesn't feel comfortable in their home yet, but really he's just meeting up with Red Hood every Thursday to continue their campaign.

Now, nobody knows of their weekly hang outs, even after Jason reconnects with the family. Not even Tim, who is also a huge nerd and has been begging Dick to play DnD with him for years and being constantly be turned down.

Eventually, Jason and Damian are setting up their game and Tim walks in on them.

Tim:

Jason: "It's not what it looks like?"

Tim: *Takes a deep breath* "Are.. are you playing DnD?"

Jason:

Damian: "It's a perfectly acceptable thing to-"

Tim: "YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING DND THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO INVITE ME??"

Jason: "Uh-"

Tim: "I've been begging- ABSOLUTELY BEGGING Dick to do a campaign with me. I've been rejected too many times to count-"

So now, every Thursday, Jason, Damian, and Tim gather round to play DnD.

The Batfam definitely has a group chat called "Official Mission Communications ONLY" that Bruce created with the strictest instructions about its purpose.

It lasted exactly 12 hours before Dick sent a meme.

Now it's just chaos, but Bruce never leaves because secretly it's how he keeps tabs on everyone.

Every few weeks he'll respond to 74 messages of nonsense with a single "Focus." and everyone behaves for approximately 5 minutes.

The real mission communications happen in individual texts directly to Bruce, who feels a tiny spark of relief each time his phone pings with "OFFICIAL MISSION CHAT (217 unread messages)" because it means they're all still alive enough to be annoying.

Occasionally in the middle of arguments about cereal rankings and who stole whose equipment, Bruce will just type "Status?" and everyone immediately responds with their location and condition. No one ever comments on this ritual, but everyone participates without fail.

Even Jason, who once replied "bleeding out in an alley but the cereal argument is worth it" which resulted in five vigilantes converging on his location in under three minutes.

The most treasured screenshot in Tim's blackmail folder is from the one time Bruce accidentally sent "proud of you all" at 3:42 AM after a particularly rough night. No one has ever mentioned it directly, but Damian has it printed and hidden in his sketchbook.