Latest Posts by ketusbetus - Page 7

Alright, I'm done. Next weekend will be more complicated stuff. Off to drown myself in nutella and blues music.

Fuck homework. I've got a laptop made for graphic designs and plenty of time to kill.

Gotta kill time and keep my mind from wandering.

This week sucked ass. Fuck it all, I'm outta here.

Can not tell where my head is now. It's blank, crystal clear and still active. Would this be one of those "moments of clarity" some people seem to have? Beats the fuck out of me.

I catch myself sometimes stare off into the blurred world as my head seems to float off somewhere. Could be a total zen moment. Possibly it's my brain having a break from everything lately, just a small moment where time, space and assholes can't bother me and so I can start sorting out things on it's own. Yeah, could be that.

At a red light tonight, I found myself staring into the lights of cars in front of me. It was like the world was frozen, slowing down and I could feel a certain stillness to my body.

Just chilling there, heart beat slowed down, empty minded and off to another layer of the atmosphere or even the great unknown of space. Just drifting in an ocean of nothing, as the ripples lap over me. I'm not fearing the deepness of where ever my mind is. Though I should question where my mind is sometimes..

Then the light turned green and my body pushed down lightly on the gas pedal and I was off to home. I was in autopilot mode.

I'm not confused by any of this. Just mere parts of silence and peace in my life that happen at times I least expect them to. In fact, great moments tend to happen randomly and die out quickly for me. How I grasped onto that idea is neat, but it's just a fact of my life. When it happens to you a lot, you tend to learn from history. Wise up to what life throws at you.

Though some times, I wish I could have something good to last me a little longer. Life goes on whether I know where my mind is or not.

Expect baby sloths because...whynot?

Just a quick doodle to keep me busy.

"I spent my lifetime crossing the oceans, with my cloak up and the scarf wrapping around my neck. A reminder of my journey to the last stop. A never ending closure close at hand. Just a few more miles on foot to be home again."

How can my day be bad when cute little baby sloths exist??

I don't really participate in halloween costume parties, if I had this bastard then it'd be a completely different story.

Driving on the highway+ hot day with the window down+ this song= fuck yeah.

My own lobotomy...

It's entertaining. To be honest I'm enjoying this whole thing. It's like an out of mind kind of deal, to which I am the surgeon looking down into the brain of a young man whose life is in my hands.To which is quite interesting since I'm performing my own surgery.

It's to my understanding that I do enjoy looking deeply into my life and how it spreads to others, effecting them. I have been quite a good man to many and to quite a few a mother fucker. To all, I agree with. I have been a paragon to many as possible. It's in my nature to be so. Whilst it's also in my nature to be a bastard to those who have it coming or to those who I believe deserve it. I find myself in the nature versus nurture ordeal a lot of the time. But in all honesty, I try to stay in line out of how I believe things should be. Then again this rule applies to every living soul to walk across the crusty earth.

As I dissect into the lobes and folds and vained grey bits of this young man I find that he's never really cared for much. That he takes life for what it is. A good joke. To me a good joke has a meaning and a good joke has a downside to it all.

So far all I can do is laugh at the irony, the bits of bullshit and how cliched the world is. Could my life be scripted? Written into a cheesey series of novels that some teens will read, thus pushing the sales into movie territory and thus a cheesey movie of my life will be made. I find that my life will be as it is while more will find it to be more than an average joe's. It's up to them to make me seem more than I am. In some other dimension or universe, I'm just character on a page. But in my dimension or universe I'm a self noticed teen who already cracked the fourth wall and yet hasn't the care in the world. Take in all the little things and make a big deal out of them. Take in the big things and make them as small as possible. Keep everything you love close and stay aware that you're still alive even though I find myself in situations that I believe wouldn't happen to a goof like myself. Such as coming across things like a great girl, a good moment or even a song to speaks to me. I find myself in the fourth wall conundrum where I think I'm either reliving a moment through death and through time (so it goes) or I'm dreaming.

A rarity this boy might be, but alas he's flawed and easy to pierce. Many young adults can agree with him, that is if they knew him before he was drained of what sense he has left, filled with chemicals and then operated on. Maybe he's a dying breed. Maybe he was an old soul. Time to preserve this specimen is running low.

Fuck History- part 1.

It's been four days since I've talked to a human. A real human not the weirdos I've been talking to lately. Now that I think of it, was it four days or have I completely lost track of time too? Should I even be bothered with trying to comprehend something like time? Better yet, why should I give a rat's ass about time?

I'm currently sitting on a large rock watching two large, scaled behemoths hump doggy-style. I want to question why two dinosaurs-a Tyranosaurus rex and the other a Brontosaurus-are having intercourse. If I turn my head then I won't be able to see what sort of hell I've caused to Earth's timeline.

As the two beasts grind each other's uglies together they stare at me, with any sort of luck I might be eaten. I deserve to be eaten by the t-rex. Unless I made carnivores into herbivores and herbivores into carnivores.

It's a high chance I did but I did see my friend John get torn in half and chewed by two Allosauruses so maybe I had effected a few things in the world or universe.

As I sit here on the large moss covered rock while watching two dinosaurs of completely different species have intercourse like mammals do, I hear a large woosh over my head. Followed by a slight fart, a pterodactly with a large dick flies over my head. I then notice that the top of my head is wet, and I'm drentched with a horrible smelling urine. I deserve this.

How I came back to the time of the dinosaurs is something that I regret more than that one time me and my non-existant girlfriend broke up over something that never happened in this timeline.A large roar emerges from the thrusting t-rex and the broncosaurus starts to shake wildly and stomps it's feet on the ground causing a small earthquake. The two fall on the ground together making another quake and the site of the two reaching climax isn't something you'd like to be decribed. So just use your imagination because it's horrible.

The two messy dinosaurs lay there, breathing hard and heavy. It makes me want to cry. It's horrifying and strangely reminicent of me and my non-existant girlfriend's first time. Then again that never happened all because I fucked with time and space.

Then the smell of pterodactly urine hits my nose and it really smells bad. Like some body drank a cup of bad milk then ate a bowl of rotten potatoe salad but decided to vomit because they hate milk. Truely terrible, much like my life as of now.

The t-rex slowly regains it's strength and stands up. I hope it comes right for me and bites the top half of my torso off. He stands up, shaking it's head and body clean of sexual sweat. Do dinosaurs sweat?

I mean...whatever.

He walks over to the laying brontosaurus and starts to bite it's neck. The brontosaurus's neck is now a bloody mess and the t-rex's snout is covered in blood. He stops and turns his head to look in my direction, at me. Soon his body turns in my direction and starts to move to me. My heart races, either out of fear that a hungry t-rex or that I will finally die and not cause any more trouble to Earth's timeline.

I never noticed how fast a t-rex could move because right now he's twenty feet in front of me. I feel my throat open up and my mouth yell: FUCK THIS. My leg began to kick me off the ground and straight into the cave behind me. The monster's teeth caught my arm and soon I was to be eaten.

A glorious way to go!

Before I knew it I could see the roof of the rex's mouth above my head. There wasn't any pain. I was swallowed whole by the rex. Surrounded by the dark insides of the beast's throat I could see a bright light at the end of the monster's throat. This must be how I die, right? That's the bright light everybody sees before they die?

I was pushed by wet muscle into the bright blinding light.

I am blind, wet, missing an arm and on a solid, even surface. Nothing that feels like the insides of a t-rex's stomach or on a cloud in heaven. And hell is just fire and brimstone and shit.

"Hello Paul. You've seen better days haven't you?" says a voice that is soft and comforting; it's got to belong to a female.

I reply to the voice: Hur uuhhh gurmn brah. My mind is fucked up. It will be for a few more minutes. Time travel does that sometimes.

I found them to be cute, then they made me rethink my definition of cute...

The amounts of fuck Kubrick gives.

I love it when I go into class and my seat is next to the white board which just so happens to have a marker to go along with it all.

Started to play the Metal Gear Solid collection pack. Since the games go from Mgs 3: Snake Eater, Mgs 2: Sons of Liberty and Mgs: Peace Walker I plan on playing it by story time line starting with Mgs 3.

I'm a happy motherfucker. 

A better look at the white board. *Spoiler*

After seeing the movie Cabin in the Woods I looked around for the whiteboard which was used for betting. I wanted to just pick it apart and find the little things that would've made me squee even more with happiness.

I was able to find it! While reading off all the names I can say that the board has a good amount of monsters. Most of these are widely known and some only huge horror movie geeks will know. I will just name a few that strike me as interesting and familiar (Which is pretty much most of the board!)

Alien Beast

Wraiths

Reptilicus

Clowns

Sexy Witches

Hell Lord

Angry Molesting Tree

Deadites

Kevin (?)

The Scarecrow Folk

Snowman

Dragonbat

Dismemberment Goblins

Sugarplum Fairy

Merman

The Reanimated

Unicorn

The Huron

The Doctors

Jack O' Lantern

Let me see here. I know basically where most of these monsters are from, movie wise. Reptilicus 1961 movie of the same name. Clowns- It, Killer Clowns from outerspace. Hell Lord could be refering to Pinhead. Angry Molesting Tree goes into the same category with Deadites, both are from the Evil Dead series. The Scarecrow folk could be a reference to Night of the Scarecrow. The Snowman is probably because of Jack Frost. The Reanimated is from the Reanimator series. The Dismemberment Goblins, Dragonbat, Sugarplum Fairy, Unicorn and The Huron are all new to me. I haven't a clue what movies they could have been from. Then there's Kevin which puzzles the fuck out of me. WHO ARE YOU KEVIN?! 

Cabin in the woods is such a diabolical movie, I can't help but fucking love it. Especially the little things that are in it, like this whiteboard and what's listed on it. Also the collapsible bong, enough said.

<3

Many words can be used to describe how I feel about this. Great way to ask a girl out? Is this how I should go to prom with my date? Why do I feel like this is an okay thing to look at? 

A quick short story.

"I think my ass is gettin' all splintered up." Said my friend. "Would you rather sit in the dirt, leaves and shit?" I replied "No, I'm good man. Not that stoned." he said back, taking another hit of a roach.

His ass was getting splintered up by the stump of a great oak tree that my old man cut down months ago for fire wood. So was mine, I just told him to deal with it since that's all I do. This was our spot to sit back and relax in, to ease down from a day of walking around and having nothing to do. Our backs were facing each other's. My friend with his back turned to my back was Marcus, a thick guy, blonde hair that was bright but greased from a lack of showers, torn red shirt, black shorts turned black from years of no washing.

"Wanna hit? Or are you still all against the good old Mary?" He said with a smile that of the cheshire cat's. I wasn't facing him, but I knew him well enough that he'd smile that smile.

"No, I don't need that stuff to relax or calm down or to have fun. Got my brains for that." I replied as I chewed on my finger nail out of boredom. We haven't had school for some days now, since the pin heads behind the big red buttons pressed them out of fear that some other country was going to fry us to a crisp. Joke was on the pin heads, there was no attacking country, there was nothing. Somebody musta thought it was smart to press the big red button and fry their own country with bombs of all sorts of sizes. But it's all just part of speculation, ya know? I'm guessing here.

"Dude, from here-from my point of view, the ember of my roach looks like the school when the fucking firestorm blasted it to a husk." My compadre broke my train of thought with his own.

"Remember that day? We were like what? Five years old when they released the bombs from their silos and just glassed the states? Shit was maddening. But we were older when that weird fire gusts started to burn shit up." He continues, but I stop hearing him near the end of it.

The surrounding forest wasn't burned in that firestorm that hit the school. The forest just-died. The trees look like fall came and never left. Just boney fingers stretching out of the dirt and leaves. Like the hands below the earth were asking for a warm fleshy hand to come up and save them from whatever hell they are going through. Or were they just reaching up for the sky to grab the sun down and bring life to the planet? Or to finish the job so things can start over again?

Fuck if I should know, I think I might be having a contact high from this jackass.

"Mind blowing your smoke somewhere else? Trying to think of something here." Tried to say it politely as I can, but my attitude just came off as raw.

"Woah dude, I will, chill the fuck out. Maybe I was just trying to add some excitement to your thoughts with my smoke?"

"Are you retarded? I think you've smoked yourself stupid. Like every other kid around these parts. Most kids around here are too doped up to know what the fuck to do with themselves or they're too empty headed to have common sense. Sure we've built a community from the remains of our town but this isn't Lord of the Flies. We do have some wise adults around here that should be doing something about the corruption. Also, why can't most kids read a damn book? The library is still standing."

The library somehow was spared from the fire storms and riots and other interesting things. My father took the opportunity to take me there and teach me everything he knew.

"What are you talking about? I'm still smart, still cool with you. Maybe you need to stop being so damn down about things. Like what the fuck bro." He hocks up mucus and spits it.

"Whatever man. I am chilled out, maybe you should stop smoking that crap and own up to the fact that your head has been jammed into your ass and all you can see through the hole you call a mouth is how to act like a kid still. Last I remembered we're both eighteen. Adults, time to grow and stop doing foolish things like smoking your friend Mary and start moving out of here."

I felt a heat in my gut. My limbs felt like static was creeping around in them, a sign that I wanted to beat sense into my friend, maybe. Or maybe like I wanted to grab that roach and throw it on the ground then march off and out of the forest to my place that's just up the path from here.

But like always I did nothing, just sat there, back to back, never to face one another. If I were to face him I probably wouldn't have the guts to sock him in the mouth or to reach up and pluck the roach off of his mouth. It's wonders how it hasn't burned his lips yet.

We return to silence, we do this to some of the time to avoid fighting with each other. The forest was looking darker than usual today, I looked out and seen nothing but a smog of fog roll through the boney fingers that were considered trees a few years ago.

Before the pin head pressed the button and fried the states.

I heard some snapping noises coming from the direction in front of me. Somewhere, deep in the forest. A dead branch was falling. Well, it was already dead, but now its pretty much official since it fell from the tree.

"Dead branch?" Marcus asks.

"Yup..dead branch." I reply.

A cold breeze manages to find us, it makes my hair stand up. Giving my goosebumps. My arms are the only thing I notice, my head is too far in the glowing clouds to think of anything else. Around my age I should have had a job, a nice dame (as my old man puts it), a crappy car that only my crappy self can run and I should have graduated High school. None of these were going to happen, I've missed all of those sorts of things in my life time, my brothers and sisters got to those things. I ran up short to them, they got further in life.

To life up to their greatness was what I guess my parents wanted for me, but I was too different for it all, I knew what I wanted and I had the ambition. Those things my old man told me were the basics. I wanted a nice dame, she'll be cute and smart and probably wise too. I can live without a car. A job will have to be a small time deal until I figure out what I'm good at. High school, well, that's out of the question. Somewhere in an alternate universe, I'm attending high school, I have keys to a nice crappy car, I have a nice dame or girl or chick in my arms as I hold her and smile at her cute face because I can. I'll also probably be half way done high school and planning for college.

How nice it would've been. I probably wouldn't even be friends with Marcus in the universe. That lucky bastard version of me.

But I was five when some pin head turned a key, flipped a switch as the red lights flickered behind him, he lifted a small glass casing from above a red button and pressed it hoping it'd do something extraordinary and that his name would be in the papers and on the internet new sites. If they do exist, somewhere, and so does the pin head then I'm sure his name will be up in some article or on some wanted list. I bet his name is Dan, I hate that name. For the sake of it all, I hope pin head Dan is on a list of assholes wanted by everything that is still alive. Glowing or not.

I wonder a lot about how my life will play out now. I don't have much to care about in my life, I've accepted my fate as it is, if anything I'm sort of happy. I'm not down in the shit shacks or town as I like to call them now. I could be there getting radiated, drunk, stoned on stolen and mixed drugs. I could also find a nice girl there who has fucked so many guys that it's just a large canyon and her emotions could be as dull as the melted rocks where the bomb dropped.

But I'm not there and I could actually care less about it all. If I could get out of the town, find more survivors. Glowing or not. I could start a caravan or a small community, find the smartest, cute girl there and settle down. Be old with her and die like I've only seen in movies they play in what is left of the theater. Luckily, my father and oldest brother were the only ones left alive. Mom, my brother Dale and my sister Linda weren't lucky. Mom and Linda were driving home from visiting my aunt in the South. They were in the blast wave. Clearly, they were dead.

Dale was killed off by radiation sickness. Tumors, melting skin, mutations. I found it to be sorta cool. When he died we had to bury him about two hundred footsteps away from the house. The plants around his grave died and I think it glows sometimes at night as if his ghost is laying there, all mutated and lumpy. Just in for the wait for when the dead trees claw open the clouds and pull the sun down on all of us.

Fuck. My mind went loose again. Nothing to really worry about, I've got nothing better to do then have my ass poked with splinters, smell the smoke of Mary and enjoy the silence of my friend.

"Hey. Remember that night the school caught fire and I snuck over to your house and we both went off to watch it burn? Wasn't that somethin'? You even had the balls to get out of your nice and warm house to watch it all just die in a heap of flames. Remember when we met up with April and her sister…"

"October.." My voice turned into a rusty voice. It does that sometimes and I haven't the slightest idea why. Probably throat cancer.

"Yeah! What was up with those girls? Swear we could've hooked up with them that night, right there. Just, fucked while the school was being burned. In a heat of passion, eh man?" Marcus started to laugh. Hyenas would accept him as their own if they heard his laughter.

"We were like what eleven or twelve when we watched our school burn down with the girls. Plus me and October had something there...but yeah it wasn't entirely picked up like I wished it was. But you seen what happened to them man? April works in the shit shacks and fucks any guy that has any amount of dollar to his name. Fucking shame."

"October didn't she disappear or something like that?" Marcus added on and this made me confused. October was known to stick to herself but last I remember she and April had a huge fight. April ended up with a scar on her forehead from it and October disappeared that afternoon. People had seen her leave town with nothing on her but her clothes and a bottle of Jack. I seen her once she was stealing wood from the forest. I called her name but she just kept walking with a fuckton of branches on her shoulders. She did though, turn back to look at me. She was too far to see if she was smiling or not.

"Think she's dead?" Marcus asked me.

"October? She's probably dying slowly like the rest of us. But, yeah I think she's fine." I answered.

I had a question to ask Marcus that very second. It's something that I've been wondering about.

"Hey, Marcus. Do you think we'll get out of this whole mess alive? That right now, we're not just as good as dead? That we could be living a lot more and enjoying the little things in life?"

The question turned into multiple questions, I hadn't control over them. They spilled out.

"Welp...I think we're dead already. Like your brother Dale and my dad. We're sick and dying, but we have no clue if we are or not. My old man was okay one second and the next he was vomiting maggots. Insides were rotting and everything, but he didn't know. Your brother hadn't noticed the tumors and the little bits of skin that were falling off-along with some muscle and tissue and shit. They only knew their fate when they dropped to the ground and seen how little bit of time they had left.

I'm not sure about you, but I'm enjoying my life, the little things and yet I'm not. To smoke pot, shoot up every now and then. To get a stiff one up in April or the other girls. It's all I need from life. What do you want? A Wife? A dog called Fido or Scruffy? A nice little shack or house that will last you until you die or murdered by something out of the blue like another bomb? Dude, I'm loving how horrible things seem to you. I'm sure you'll understand someday."

I was baffled at what the answer was. I'm sure he'll explain it later someday or die of some sort of sexually transmitted disease or a stab wound or because of a lethal dose of radiation. Whatever it may be I know what I want in life. I'm sure that's what Marcus knows about his life. I'm sure that's what October knew when she refused to be dragged down to being a whore and she set off somewhere to be herself and to be happy and to be free. Maybe someday I'll join her and be as free as she is.

The forest started to get darker and I was becoming tired of having bits of oak being stabbed into my backside so I had to end me and Marcus's day of hanging out.

"Hey dude I'm going home, gotta take a shit." I told him. He stood up and a blunt in his mouth, he lit it up and inhaled.

"Me too, wicked bastard is punching at my backdoor." He exhaled as he spoke. It went into my face as I turned around. I hate the smell of Mary. I wonder where in the hell we call home he grows the shit.

"Where do you grow that shit anyway?" I asked him while fanning the smoke away from my face.

"In the basement and in the shed out back, brother grows this shit like crazy. Generator with uv lights and all sorts of shit."

"Sounds interesting and stuff. Well, I gotta go, peace out man. Travel home safely and make sure you don't die tomorrow." I said as I headed down my path to home.

"You too." He replied.

Before I could get into my house I heard a large snapping noise from behind me-in the forest. I turned around and seen a person stepping out into clearing. It was a deer with it's antlers starting to sprout up from its skull. Young buck.

I hadn't seen one before, only in books my dad own and I had read to keep myself entertained. Me and the buck stared at each other like old friends but complete strangers. He looked at me, turned his head and started off in another direction. Something inside of me had me raise my arm and wave to it as it went off in another direction. I simply had to smile and say to it "Peace."