Latest Posts by khazdmazerb - Page 7

I will continue to but out Avenge the living chapter two but I have a very very large fanfiction about a modern AU in the works and I’ll try to give a blurb/teaser soon

For all that they are different Bilbo and Thorin have one thing in common:

Doing profoundly stupid shit with a very smug expression.

The shire is warm for most of ther year and when it’s cold is doesn’t drop far below seven degrees

Erebor is fucking cold. Temps drop to around minus fifteen.

Bilbo is not build for these conditions and nearly gets frost bite in the tips of his ears and his toes and Thorin panics and makes him little fur lined leather boots that are soft and flexible but still provide enough warmth to stop his toes falling off.

Bilbo also has to wear a hat and ties his hair back as it grows so he doesn’t realize how much his hair has grown by spring and when he takes the hat off Thorin is gawking

Took my niece on a walk through the forest and she tugged on my sleeve and told me two things:

“I’m hungry” (we just ate three scones and had hot drinks)

“We need to go back so I can get my books” (I wouldn’t let her take seven books on a hike.)

My sister has raised a hobbit.

I have also convinced her that I am 48, I tried to tell her I’m 250 but she looked at me and said I wasn’t that old. (I’m 23)

Wow I’m literally so sorry

Scary queen 😭

Dis you are the queen of my heart🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

She’s just such a perfect woman

Day 22 - Gender

"It's obvious enough," Dis said with a raised eyebrow. "Though I'm not sure why you care."

"I..." Bilbo sat back, nonplussed. "Well, I don't want to offend anyone, surely that's clear enough. In the Shire..." Dis' bark of laughter cut him off.

"You aren't in the Shire, my soon-to-be Lord Consort," she snorted. "And you'll annoy far more people trying to figure out what's in their pants than not in a dwarven kingdom, not that it's any big secret. Look," she sighed, "if you use 'he' for everyone, it's fine; Khuzdul doesn't have all that nonsense that Sindarin and the Southron tongues do where words shift around, so that's how we use Westron as well. There's two 'genders' here, as you call it; dwarf and non-dwarf." She grinned. "Though you yourself are a bit of a crossed category on the last one, mind."

The fucking scene where Thorin is really struck with dragon sickness and sounds like Smaug makes me so physically sick. Like my stomach HURTS. I need two paracetamol, a glass of room temperature water and maybe like half an hour laying in the paddock next to my house in the dark… agh.. so so so upsetting.

I’d turn the other cheek but I’ve already used three and I’m saving the fourth for a special occasion

This is Legolas and Thranduil and if I have the ability to animate I would make a drawn version of this

Headcanon that dwarves(tolkein) sunburn, badly. Because dwarves evolved with little sun exposure, And hobbits, mostly farming race, tan beautifully.

Bilbo: beautiful brown tan

The company: pink like raw chicken

Also:

Fili and Kili leaving Ered Luin for the first time:

Uncle why am i peeling

My rendition of the anvil lifting contest I lost against my friend. Still got it off the ground tho so I’m happy with that.

“Was throwing it back in the manuscripts”

was not a sentence I expected to say in my life especially not to the representative of a swordsmanship guild.. but here we are.

Hey guys.

If your ever having a bad day

Just remind yourself

At least you didn’t have a panic attack so bad that a hill got named after you.

No I don’t want to talk about it

I’m very embarrassed.

Salad is born of violence

A proper salad consists of three divine components:

ingredience (vegitable of all kin)

indulgence (dressing, oil, salt, croutons, cheese, etc)

violence (chopp and shred that shit asunder)

Oh my god

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

Reupload if coz one of his eyes was very wonky

But yeah, I think I’ve improved. This is post battle Thorin with all the scars

He’s such a handsome boy *said in the tone someone uses when talking to a cat*

Something AI artists don’t understand is there is no beauty without growth.

Mountains aren’t beautiful before they’re big rocks

They’re beautiful because we know they are ever growing every changing monuments to the passage of time. The fact that at one point these massive things were not there is where the magic lives

Trees aren’t beautiful because they’re green

They’re beautiful because an acorn turned into a tree a few hundred years ago and now it’s here, ever growing larger and older and wiser.

The sky is not beautiful before it’s blue

It’s beautiful before it will never look like it does right now ever again, because every single sun set is different. Before no two clouds are the same.

Growth and change are art. You are art.

Guys

I watched the first two hobbit movies with my partner but I can’t bring myself to watch the last… in his mind.. everyone is still alive.. and I just can’t… I’m too weak

Hey, come here.. let me tell you something..

Dwobbit Frodo loves his Aunt Dis.

Frodo might be a tornado with a sword but he’s also rather sensitive by dwarven standards and while Dis is as tough as a steel capped boot she’s also a dame and a mother and loves her sulky, sensitive little nephew.

Frodo: *storming into Dis’s Chambers* I’ve had enough! I just can’t!

Dis: *looking up from a length of chain she was closing* Oh?

Frodo: *Standing there with his hands balled in his shirt lip quivering* they make fun of me! Even- even when I beat them! Even when I train harder and fight better

Dis: *standing and bonking her head against her nephew with a chuckle* that’s called jealousy dear one.

Frodo: they aren’t jealous of me! They said I’m a cry baby

Dis: a cry baby hmm? Sounds like a peddle a used to know

Frodo: Dwarves don’t cry..

Dis: ah but this one did, all the time, even now I think he weeps when no one is looking for he has a lot to cry about

Frodo: who?

Dis: Thorin

Frodo: WHAT!? âdâ doesn’t…what?

Dis: yup! Your father was a the biggest cry baby of them all even at your age!

Frodo: *stunned*

Dis: I’m pretty sure that’s why he sulks when he’s upset because if he spoke loudly his voice would crack…

Frodo: *wipes his eyes and laughs* that’s horrible!

Dis: just.. don’t tell him I told you or there will be a royal funeral

Frodo: for who?

Dis: who ever loses the death match your âdâ would challenge me to for telling his son he has emotions other then angry and hungry

Frodo: *well and truly cheered up* Thanks zâmar *bumps heads with her lightly and runs off to go back to his training*

Dis: *watching that that little mop of black hair disappear out her door* Mahal.. Frerin would have loved that boy

Terrible day to be the king of *checks notes* a barely floating barge full of dirty fish people?

poor bard man like imagine you’ve just been nominated king (against your will) and just want to feed your people then get stuck in the diva off of the century and witness a very public breakup/attempted murder between one of the aforementioned divas and his husband who up until now you weren’t quite convinced wasn’t a 12 year old

Bilbo and Thorin having a fight:

Bilbo; I see there is still a dragon under this mountain, Thorin Oakenshield

Thorin:

Agh he is my heart

he’s just really special to me

One pretty dwarf should not be your only reason to watch the hobbit. But yes, he is one of many fine reasons

I should have watched Hobbit earlier bcs goddamn

Do u think this will stop my classmates stealing my pins?

The haunting of Bilbo Baggins

Aka dead eyed Thorin has become Bilbos literal sleep paralysis demon but Bilbo is almost glad because this way he can still see his one’s face 😭

Well that was very nearing a BIG MISTAKE 💀

Become a jeweler tarragon, follow in your fathers foot steps. You’ll have so much fun at art school..

Yeah great, a leather spoon. I hope ur happy.

Rightio, excited to get into this

Welcome to April! Let's shake off winter with some new Hobbit prompts! Mix and match prompts or just pick your favorites. The event is open to writers, artists, and creatives alike!

If you create something, just @acorn-and-oakleaves so we can showcase your work!