Shoutout To Systems Who Feel Pressured To Mask, Or Cant Tell People About Their Plurality Or Specific

how it feels knowing life is a cycle and everything will be okay eventually

finally bought clothes ! if only i was cute enough to wear them without feeling dead inside

How I look scrolling thru the same three apps and rotting in bed all day everyday

being an outcast fucking sucks

why was j born like this

The amount of anger inside me is wild for someone who only wants to give and receive love

problematic headmate culture is having one of your headmates as your lover, father figure, student, and best friend all in one

problematic headmate culture is...

for me, jirai exists in this absurd space where my desire to be cute and perfect and lovely clashes with my mental illnesses and inability to function in normal ways

“Having ASPD doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Okay, but having ASPD makes it so easy for me to screw over the people I love. Yes, you mean so much to me and I truly do want you to be happy, but I can rob you in your own home and feel nothing about it, and then I can lie to your face about it. Yes, I want to spent my life with you, but if you annoy me, I can slap you across the face, and to me, it doesn’t… feel as if that contradicts my love for you. It isn’t just selfishness because I would hurt myself for you, and I have, and yet I’m hurting you. Why doesn’t that feel contradictory?

It takes a lot of willpower to not be horrible when you are this way. It’s not just lacking guilt as an emotion, but about this weird gap in between affection as an emotion and… having the emotional drive to affectionate, or even decent. I’m not devoid of love. I’m devoid of… something quite different that I can’t quite put my finger on, and I don’t think “guilt” or “empathy” as it’s understood quite describe that.

Of course, I’m not sorry for being this way, but I almost wish I was.