The Fact That Snape Is One Of The Youngest If Not THE Youngest Professor Is Fucking Hilarious.

ok but hear me out, quidditch games in the middle of the night

all students praying mcgonagall wont find them out

begging hermione to be the judge of the game

the students playing IN THEIR PJ’S

all houses playing together it’s a mess

draco complaining about everything but begrudgingly having the time of his life 

“malfoy honestly you are gonna slip off that broom in those silk pj’s”

slytherins and hufflepuffs vs gryffindors and ravenclaws

they do it almost every friday night

hagrid watches every single game and cheers for everyone equally

the house elves all know and prepare them a feast of junk food after every game

they have sleepovers at each other’s common rooms after the game because they are too exhausted to go to their own

“can we crash in the slytherin dorm today”

house unity AT ITS FINEST no one gives a fuck

they are all tired af but no one wants to go to sleep so SLEEPOVERS

everyone having extra mattresses under their beds for these occasions

the paintings helping them sneak out by warning them if there’s a teacher coming or not

THE TEACHERS NEVER FINDING OUT (actually they all know they just pretend they don’t)

Don’t be afraid

Just a little remember for you,

it’s okay to try

it’s okay to change your sexuality or your gender

It’s okay, I swear.

You will be fine

Slytherin Headcanon that the first female quidditch player on the house team was Bellatrix … she absolutely wasn’t allowed to do this and in response the whole team learned how to brew polyjuice just so she could be on the team as one of the “boys” (and said boy would replace her in the stands).

Remus: how did Reggie first came out to you?

Sirius: well there were always signs, but when he really did, he did it by giving me a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

Remus: That's cute

Sirius: It was NOT cute!

Sirius: I thought he was pregnant.

'you never read anymore, you used to love reading' and i have 200 safari tabs open. it never stopped it just got weird

Barty (punching the wall): Ahh see, my knuckles are blushing.

Regulus: They are fucking bleeding.

Barty: Blushing.

This actually happened to me quite a few times. Bless the terrible English teachers my parents had!!

Closeted Harry coming out to Ron after his breakup with Ginny and Ron just being like, “cool just don’t date one of my brothers”

Fred and George freezing and looking at Harry with nothing but absolute delight at the potential mischief.

Harry making eye contact with them, immediately understanding their intentions, and winking as he puts a finger to his lips, shushing them.

Ron following Harry’s line of sight and screaming “NO. NO. FUCK NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

Harry and the twins platonically flirting in the most obnoxious ways imaginable.

Harry showing up to breakfast in the Great Hall late with a different twins sweater on, looking debauched. One or even both the twins give him a salacious once over. Ron wants to sink into the floor and die.

Ron eventually gets used to this but absolutely loses it when the rest of his brothers send him their sweaters and flirt with him at the Burrow.

The Weasley boys sending flirty howlers to Harry just to send Ron spiraling.

Ron being so relieved when Harry dates literally anyone who isn’t one of his older brothers.

“She’s jealous. Because she’s ordinary and you’re special.”

Evan: Yeah, me and Barty don't use pet names.

Pandora: Really? What does a bee make?

Evan: Honey?

Regulus: No, no you're doing it wrong. What do you call a female dog?

Evan: A bitch?

Barty (falling from the ceiling): Yea dickhead?