'you Never Read Anymore, You Used To Love Reading' And I Have 200 Safari Tabs Open. It Never Stopped

Evan: *Whispering French into Barty's ear*

Barty: *Literally can't breathe*

Regulus, who's sitting next to him on the couch: *Fighting for his life not to laugh because Evan's not saying anything remotely sexy, he's just complaining about the weather*

The fact that Snape is one of the youngest if not THE youngest professor is fucking hilarious.

This actually happened to me quite a few times. Bless the terrible English teachers my parents had!!

Me

I am that kind of person who have a big debat in my head about what to do and then totaly forget it Like it’s monday morning, I am already late to work but I have to take a shower before leaving the house

Me : So I have absolutely no time to wash my hair this morning, anyway it’s so cold outside and I washed my hair yesterday, I will just go in the shower and wash my body

Two scondes later I am in the shower with wet hair and shampoo in my hand and me: Oh shit

Dumbledore: You must understand, Harry, Professor Snape had a very terrible childhood.

Harry: I understand. I’m having a very terrible childhood right now.

ao3 being down during the day on july 1st feels like they said "we need to do this update but if we do it during june they'll call it a hate crime" and they were correct

Who am I?

I changed, I tried, I was not sure, I am still not sure.

First I thought I was a straight girl, like all my sisters, like I should be ,right?

And then I learned something. I can love either a girl and a boy. I can. I am not broken.

I became bisexual

and I learn more, there are more than two genders.

and I became Pansexual. Because I don’t care about your gender but I do love your personality. 

And I ever realize that I really don’t care about my own gender, I am fine with who I am. And sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes it’s boy or neither or either. And I am fine with that.

So I became a Genderfluid Pansexual

And I listened my friend speaking about sex. And I was just like “ew” they told me try I am sure you will like. I tried. I still don’t like it.

And Internet told me I am not broke.

I am just a really weird asexual genderfluid pansexual

do I exist?

Host dad

My host dad told me : I don’t want gay near my children. I don’t want them to befriend with them.

Maybe the day I will leave this house I will tell him the true, and he will just cry because I am hella gay. And I am sleeping in his daughters’ room during three months.

Barty (punching the wall): Ahh see, my knuckles are blushing.

Regulus: They are fucking bleeding.

Barty: Blushing.

ok but hear me out, quidditch games in the middle of the night

all students praying mcgonagall wont find them out

begging hermione to be the judge of the game

the students playing IN THEIR PJ’S

all houses playing together it’s a mess

draco complaining about everything but begrudgingly having the time of his life 

“malfoy honestly you are gonna slip off that broom in those silk pj’s”

slytherins and hufflepuffs vs gryffindors and ravenclaws

they do it almost every friday night

hagrid watches every single game and cheers for everyone equally

the house elves all know and prepare them a feast of junk food after every game

they have sleepovers at each other’s common rooms after the game because they are too exhausted to go to their own

“can we crash in the slytherin dorm today”

house unity AT ITS FINEST no one gives a fuck

they are all tired af but no one wants to go to sleep so SLEEPOVERS

everyone having extra mattresses under their beds for these occasions

the paintings helping them sneak out by warning them if there’s a teacher coming or not

THE TEACHERS NEVER FINDING OUT (actually they all know they just pretend they don’t)