Latest Posts by le0davisarchive - Page 5
blakemadden:
Blake swallowed as it became obvious the man was once again sliding down the slippery slope of anger. Why had she poked the bear? Sometimes she could be so thoughtless, the baker chastised herself silently, still pale from the entire confrontation they were currently experiencing. “I didn’t know it was something I was obligated to share with anyone…” She had tried to sound confidant but it ended up coming out as a fearful statement made in a slightly shaking voice. Had they been going through a loud part of the tunnel at the time it may well have been swallowed up in the noise entirely. Eyes flicking down to his finger pointed at his own chest then up to meet his gaze again, she had no idea what was going to happen. Thank god they were in public. “I’m…I never said I didn’t have a hand in it too I was just…” She trailed off, feeling like she was on the brink of tears for multiple reasons. Fear, guilt, hormones…all were applicable right now. “I know I was part of it too…I know…” She whispered, looking down at the ground with shame.
-
“I didn’t know I was just anyone.” Leo’s lips pursed, he felt so entitled to be involved in her personal life to know about her pregnancy. To him, they had a tale of raw intimacy between them. He had lived out every lustful thought while being another’s. But Blake had been the only one he broke all his vows for. He watched her stumble upon her words. He could just see that he had struck a nerve that he had aimed for. But seeing the result for pettiness made him feel smaller rather than bigger.
“I don’t regret any moment of it. Of us.” He declared as his arms finally relaxed beside him. He looked away from her, biting his lip, he didn’t know how to console her when he was clearly the problem. “Regardless of my reaction, I’m happy for you and your new partner. I wish you well.” He said dipping his head as he said this before turning and attempting to take a cowardly exit.
krosxn:
Katz just looked at him as his ex-husband was mentioned. “Maybe if enough people say it you’ll believe it on day.” Oliver and he were in a good place. They were supportive of each other. Katz would always love him. He’d always have a special place for him in his heart, but he had to do what was best for himself. Oliver wasn’t a good environment for his creative process. He didn’t sign up to take care of someone else like that and get nothing in return. For better or worse didn’t mean much when there was no better. “At least we’re more functional than you and your wife.”
-
Leo just laughed, but was a moment delayed. His senses were still weary, but he could certainly hear the ice in Katz’s words. “I’m still sensing some hostility there Kitty Katz.” He waved a palm gesturing to Katz’ invisible aura. Leo didn’t know too much detail of why his favorite pair of husbands had called it quits. He only knew that his trio had turned into three shattered relationships. Leo, however, didn’t like it one bit once his partner was brought up. His pulse racing faster with alcohol in his veins. “What the fuck is that suppose to mean, man?” Leo questioned, his voice no longer in a lighthearted slur, yet his body was unable to straighten up. “You shut your mouth, my marriage is fucking functional.”
I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does
text; leo ⇆ ana
Ana: I miss you, Leonardo. I wish I could talk more than I do, I'm thankful you understand why I can't. How've you been?
Leo: Haha, do I understand or am I just forced to accept it to have you?
Leo: I've been fine besides wanting to see you.
Leo: Sorry that I'll never stop asking.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S (1994-2004) ☕ The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie
renfarber:
She laughed, the sound of it bouncing off the walls, even with the eerie theme music of the film playing. “Yeah, dude. I made a whole human. Wild, right?” She shook her head. Being pregnant and giving birth and taking care of a whole human child were the scariest, most painful, disgusting things that had ever happened to her. But unconditional love was always kind of like that.
Her nose scrunched at the word ‘boyfriend’ and she shook her head again. “Nah, it’s… it’s just me.” It sounded kind of sad when she said it like that, but Ren preferred it this way. Having Max all to herself. It was selfish, of course, but when had Ren ever done anything that wasn’t? Leo knew that more than most. “Do you… want to see a picture of him? You can say no, I know not everybody likes babies.”
-
Leo smiled again hearing that melodic laugh. His mind had selected her voice above the film. wild, indeed. he began feeling the true weight of time once again. he hadn’t been there for any of the changes time had brought her, and vice versa. but had enough time past that he didn’t view her as the first and only woman to break his heart?
Just you, he thought, repeating it to himself in a sad tone. Leo knew being a parent wasn’t easy. Hell, one of his parents passed away and the other gave him up to stop being his parents. How she was doing it on her own was hard for him to wrap his head around. Especially when he was the type to not even have a pet. He looked at her with this admirable look on his face. She was always so independent. “Yeah, show me,” he as his curiosity began to grow. Maybe seeing her son would actually help the reality that she was a parent click in his thick skull. “You’re the first person I know to have a kid.” He added, letting her know this was a new experience for him.
No one hates Joe Goldberg more than Penn Badgley himself
blakemadden:
Blake looked at him with a confused if still fearful expression on her face, because he was obviously still angry. She’d seen what he was capable of - to some degree, and didn’t feel like finding out anymore. Still the woman couldn’t help but ask the first question that came to her mind. “And what would grabbing me have changed if it was your baby? Hmm? It wouldn’t have changed anything.” ‘It would kill my wife’ those words were crystal clear evidence of what side of the fence he stood regardless of his cheating because at no point had he shown any concern for her or the baby. Before or after finding out the supposed paternity of it. If anything he had shown concern for himself ahead of anyone else, even if he claimed it was for his wife. Maybe it was a good thing that she’d not told him earlier in her pregnancy because of her fear he would reject their child because he’d done that before he’d even known if he was the dad. “No, I can imagine if she knew that would make things very difficult for you.” The woman muttered.
-
“I’m sorry, but If you hadn’t kept your condition a secret then, I wouldn’t have drawn to conclusions.” He said with his voice deepening with icy inflictions. He even pointed at his chest. Leo would always blame someone else for his faults. Especially, if his reactions weren’t warranted. No, only when his actions were praised would he ever own up to himself. But he was truly scared. Being caught was his worst fear because he knew what it meant. Knew what he had to lose and he was happy just right where he was. He listened to her, her words forming a mirror in which he could see his selfishness. But that wasn’t new to the Brooklyn orphan. “Imagine what you want, Blake, but don’t act like you didn’t have a hand in it too.” His voice dropped and but his gaze on her face was impassioned. So many times he had used his body to please hers, and not a single protest or worry over his wife were made during those times.
blakemadden:
Blake wasn’t a hard person to scare and right now she was terrified by Leo, not to mention the look in his eyes. The grip on her arm faded into the background compared to that because he looked….so angry. Like it was down in the depth of his soul and it made the woman shrink back slightly even before he’d let go of her. When he finally did her bicep was throbbing from the force. Still for some reason she wasn’t willing to let him just back away from her even on this busy underground train, taking a careful step forward towards him now she had some autonomy in her limbs. “Why…why would you grab me like that? I’ve never done anything to you.” Her voice was just loud enough for Leo to be able to hear her even of the din of the train going through the tunnel, her eyes imploring. After all the man in front of her was the father of her child, whatever she’d just told him, and god knows what he might have done if she had admitted the truth. It made her think in the immediate aftermath that she had done the right thing by lying to him, even though by her very nature lying was something the woman never liked doing in the first place.
-
When Blake approached him again, he took a half step back as a precaution. It was clear that didn’t trust himself. “I know, I’m—” he shook his head, feeling the fear that his anger cloaked itself with. He looked at her and saw how her beautiful face was contorted with fear. “Please, forgive me, I couldn’t have had the child be mine.” He panted now, feeling his mouth grow drier in the humid train. His brown eyes wide and his hands were tighten with in fists and he wrestled with his emotions. “It would kill my wife. Despite how I’ve treated her— I — don’t want to hurt her.” He sucked in a breath and shook his head. “She can’t know who I am.” One of his fists met with his quad, in the beats of his words, emphasizing the desperation he felt.
renfarber:
He smiled at her, and she was twenty-one again, and the guilt that she’d been suppressing broke through. Before him, she’d never believed that she had the power to hurt anyone. She’d known that Leo loved her, but she hadn’t known how much, until she watched as his heart shattered in her hands. She hadn’t wanted that power ever again, so she’d never let anybody else that close.
And so, “Fuck no,” was her response to his question. It was automatic, instinctual, and she had no time to think better of it before the words were out of her mouth. “I mean… I’m happy that you’re happy, but it’s just not… for me, I don’t think,” she said, looking down at her hands and wondering how much was too much to say. “I do have a kid, though, so… that’s weird.”
-
Leo’s eyes widened slightly at her response. He had once objected to the idea of marriage just as strongly as she did. Especially after things ended with Serenity all those years ago. But meeting his wife made him see how beneficial life with a partner could be. Happy, though? He forced a nod, agreeing with her that he was happy. That’s how a marriage was suppose to be. Or appear to be.
“A kid?” He questioned, his voice chiming too loud with surprise. “Like a whole person that you grew inside you and then…” he gulped thinking about delivering a baby and then being stuck with it. “That is weird. You’re a mom now.” He agreed and then began to mess with his popcorn bucket. not having the appetite for the snack. This was a lot to learn. There was a child out there that was hers. He bit his lip as he looked at her and tried to picture it. But the only thing his mind went to was who was the man that shared half of her son with. “Your boyfriend’s the father; I’m assuming?”
renfarber:
She sat when he sat, and stared for too long just like he did. She saw his eyes taking in her new hair and her new tattoos, just as she took in his new facial hair, and his new… wedding ring. Suddenly the ten years felt like ten years. There was less than a foot in physical distance between them now, but there were ten full years, and a spouse, and at least one baby. But even so, she couldn’t stop herself from fucking smiling at him.
“It’s good to see you,” she said, and it was, although it probably shouldn’t have been. It was weird to see him, older and married and scared of her, but the dappled projector light softened everything. Like they were the ones in nostalgic black-and-white. “How long have you been married?”
-
The way she smiled at him kept his nerves from growing further out the lines. it was a familiarity he appreciated as he really tried to let time settle between them. The corners of his mouth lifted, causing his eyes to wrinkle with a soft smile. “I was gonna say the same thing.” He said, bringing his eyes back to her. Though he was still careful around her. Out of precaution or experience; he didn’t know which. He brought his eyes back to the screen. because he couldn’t let himself dote on her appearance any longer. It was far too easy to fall back into admiring her looks. He owed some restrain at the very least for his twenty-three year old self. he carried that broken hearted twenty something leo, too close and too long.
At her question about his marriage caused his brows shot up and he looked at his left hand. The white gold still glinted in this light. “Oh,” he enthused and arranged his hands so his left one was out of view at the side of his popcorn bucket. “Almost a year or so.” He replied not really knowing the date by memory. It was somewhere in his phone. He finally looked at her again. “What about you--married?” He questioned quickly, his curiosity getting the best of him. his eyes even flicked downward to her hands.
you've never been so used as I'm using you, abusing you, my little decoy don't look so blue, you should've seen right through I'm using you, my little decoy
renfarber:
She’d thought she’d be prepared for this. She’d thought that enough time had passed (what was it, almost a decade now?), and that she’d moved on, and she was over what had happened… but she wasn’t. She was smiling, looking at him now, because he looked so much like the boy she’d loved. She was smiling, but her heart had sunk, and her brain was so focused on his face that it forgot to remind her to breathe.
“No,” she said - too loudly for the quiet, echoing theatre, “no, please don’t go. It’s a good movie… I’ve heard. I haven’t seen it, but… that’s kind of the appeal.” Of course, she didn’t need to explain that to Leo. Anyone else on Earth, maybe, but this familiar-but-distant man, standing in shock ten feet from her, giving her almost the same expression he had the last time she’d seen him… he already knew. He knew her love of new things, new experiences, new places, new people. He’d loved that about her once. And it had hurt him in the end.
When she finally remembered how to move, she made her way toward him. Slowly, gingerly, like he were a wild animal or a broken bird, and might either attack or flee if she moved too suddenly. She would deserve both, she knew, even if it had been ten years. But selfishly, she just wanted to see him.
The lights went down, and the projector came on, and they were still standing, staring, closer now but still unsure of each other. “Will you stay?” Ren whispered.
-
Her loud protest to him leaving echoed tremendously. It stopped him in his slow attempt to leave. And quite honestly it warmed him up a bit. It was a good surprise to know that she wanted him to stay and enjoy the film. He hadn’t seen it either, but he couldn’t find himself to speak up as he was grew overwhelmed and overstimulated by everything. He was at a crossroads of what to do. He knew had this meeting been less than the decade that passed he’d already be out the door. Hell, maybe even popcorn in her hair.
Leo’s feet stepped back once she began her approach towards him. He had only stopped when he remembered his drink on the ground. He was stuck between making a mess or allowing her closer. He went with the latter. It did offer him a chance to look at her better. Her hair was in braids, he’d never seen it styled like that before. He also noticed her tattoo collection had grown. When his own collection had diminished.
But it was different now. He was different. He had love coming at him from multiple hearts. Love that he had desperately wanted from just one heart, years ago. Hers. Did he still feel that way now? With his heart strings being pull down by someone on his phone and with broken vows he pretended to keep with his wife? The lights turning down and glow of the hazy film lit the room. It shown upon her face in such a familiar way. He would usually stare at her in this light to watch her reaction when they shared this pastime. He blinked and answered her wordlessly, by sitting back down in his seat. His eyes never moved off of her. He just kept looking at her with an air of anticipation. It took him a bit too long to let it go and turn his head to the screen. He began to become too aware of his own breathing as he felt the side of body she was at heat up. He parted his lips to say something but quickly closed it to focus on the film. But just a moment later, he did once again.
renfarber:
who: @le0davis where: some half-abandoned theatre in lower manhattan what: in which leo and ren get slapped in the face with nostalgia
This wasn’t Ren’s first time away from Max, but it still felt weird every time she left him with her mom. Being alone felt unnatural now, like she was missing a limb. She’d spent her entire life trying not to get too attached to anyone at all, and now here she was, heart aching for a boy. All that being said, she did find a moment to marinate in the eerie silence of the almost-abandoned cinema. Just as she’d suspected, there was absolutely no one in here, and the ticket seller had looked at her like maybe she was a ghost.
The film was an obscure horror film from the 50s called The Creeping Unknown, and the old floors creaked as she made her way through the empty auditorium to find a seat. It was the perfect atmosphere for some much-needed alone time… but then she saw the mop of curls peeking over a seat in one of the middle rows. Not only had this intruder invaded her quiet night, but they’d also taken the best seat in the place. Despite herself, she was intrigued, and made her way over, just to see what kind of person had the same strange idea of a fun night…
But of course it was him.
“…Leo?” she asked (but who else would it be?).
-
Leo needed a moment to himself that didn’t involve women, work, or alcohol. he needed the silence and care that a theatre could give him. He scored as he sat down on the perfect seat, dead center of the entire theatre. It was completely empty. Just him and the silver screen. It was a haven that he hadn’t had in a long time. And of course, it was an obscure science fiction horror film was a comforting choice for him. He sat comfortably with a small bucket of popcorn in one hand with his soda on the ground in front of the left seat beside him.
He had heard the theatre creak but had thought nothing of it. Until he had heard a voice, he flinched at the sound of his name. Who had found him here in his safe space? He turned his head to see the owner of the voice. He looked at her, stunned, with his hand frozen in his popcorn bucket. “R-ren?” he questioned with narrowed eyes as he looked upon her in the dim lighting. He couldn’t believe it. and then it happened, a brief flash of the first time he saw her to the painful last time he had seen her. it was like his heart in his chest was given a tight squeeze and dragged down to his stomach. “uhh,” he drawled through the pain. it had been ten years but it felt like yesterday, seeing her now. “i’ll leave.” he blurted out, standing up so abruptly, bits of popcorn flung everywhere.
He’s toxic. His smile will poison you. His boyish charm dangerous. The glint in his eyes as he challenges you to do something devious is lethal.
(via hellothisistruth)
krosxn:
“You’re a fucking disaster.” As much as he loved his friend, and he truly did, he didn’t think he was wrong either. He’d stand by Leo even when he was wrong, which he probably often was. “You underestimate my ability to press charges,” he walked away to get him water before returning, ruffling his hair. Chaotic energy just happened to find Katz, as if he didn’t attract it himself.
-
Leo rolled his eyes as Katz’ badmouthed him, he didn’t take it seriously at all, and knew his friend didn’t mean it maliciously. he loved the chaotic vibe they created as it was brought his drunk ass to Katz’ home. Though there was an absence of his other friend which happened to be Katz’ ex. Leo laughed at Katz response to his empty threat. “You know that’s something Oli would totally say.” Leo said, forgetting that talking about ex-husbands were off limits in polite, civil conversations.
blakemadden:
Blake thought her shock had been maximised when she’d come face to face with Leo out of nowhere, but it was nothing compared to how she felt when he grabbed her arm roughly. Eyes swivelling down to it she opened her mouth before closing it again, no words escaping. He was hurting her, it was actually fairly scary. “I’m…I’m not playing with you, stop it you’re hurting me.” The girl whimpered softly, her eyes wide. Obviously the man was panicking which objectively was understandable but that didn’t mean she was okay with the way he was going about it, at all. But there was nowhere she could go so in a moment of panic she just shook her head. “No, what? No of course it’s not yours. Why would I have not told you if it was yours.” For exactly this reason actually, but vindication wasn’t really the sensation she was feeling at the top of her list right now, even if she had been vindicated by this whole scenario. “It’s a baby, and it’s not yours so get off me.” She was trying to sound sure of herself, but it wasn’t really going to plan.
-
Hearing that it wasn’t his just caused another influx of questions to replace the previous ones. If that were true why was she hiding her pregnancy from him? Why not mention it? Why keep something so big in her life a secret? Had she planned to dissolve their relationship completely? these empty questions disappeared as he answer fell upon his ears. he had gotten the answer he wanted. it wasn’t his. and it wasn’t his problem. his secrets were still going to be safe from his wife. he could continue living his precious double life. Still his anger visibly blazed in him. how did he even had room to be jealous? his hand had tightened before it finally loosened. his eyes went down to her bicep and saw how his fingers left a white impression on her reddening skin. he stared unable to accept that he had just done that. he usually harmed inanimate objects, not people, especially not women. his eyes began to mirror her fear and he immediately backed away from her. His lips parted to apologize but couldn’t see that helping in the slightest. he stayed silent and looked away from her like a coward he really was.
PENN BADGLEY YOU (2018 -)
blakemadden:
“Okay…” Blake murmured under her breath because she knew what his questions were referring to, not to mention his tone which was full of shock, to put it nicely. Her hand remained on her stomach as he looked down at it, glancing around the train carriage but no one was listening to them. The members of New York were all entirely in the own world, thank god because this was embarrassing enough just between herself and Leo, the baker didn’t really want anyone else to be viewing it. The issue was the train was hurtling through a tunnel meaning she had no way of getting off, and even if she could it was unlikely Blake could move fast enough to stop Leo from being able to easily catch up with her in a second. “Oh I’m just going uptown to see a friend.” Pretending his why was a question about why she was on the metro…which they both knew it wasn’t. “So…yeah…just…heading there.” She shifted from one foot to the other, trying to work out how to play this one.
-
Leo had no care for their surroundings his mind wrapped around all the possibilities and she wasn’t speaking or giving him answers. Why is she the one surprised? When her reply was straight bullshit and nonsense, he was done playing this game. “Don’t-don’t that, don’t play dumb right now, Blake-- don’t do this to me.” Leo spat out through gritted teeth. His adam’s apple visibly tightening in his throat. His mood immediately lunged into anger. How could she play at a time like this? His life as he knew it was on the line. He spared a thought for his wife which caused his hand to grip around her bicep, holding her close and firmly with his fingers overlapping. “What is that? And is it mine?!” His voice not only rising in volume but in vemon. It was like a fuse had been lit and he was ready to set off even more.
(500) days of Summer (2009) dir. Marc Webb
Penn Badgley The Birthday Cake (2021), dir. Jimmy Giannopoulos
“I want someone to see the dark parts of my mind, the messy, the scary, the destructive, and still choose to stay.”
— (via hennigswrites)
krosxn:
Katz just followed him to make sure he didn’t break anything in the process of…whatever it was he was doing. “Is it? Because as far as I’m aware, whatever this is, is not it. Not if you want to actually do something.” He grabbed his arm to help steady him, leading him towards the couch so he could sit down. “If you piss yourself on my couch, it’s about 1500 to replace and I will hand deliver you to your wife.”
-
“This, this, this...” he repeated in the same kind of negative tone that he thought he heard in Katz’s voice. Leo grunted as his legs gave out from underneath him, landing on the couch askew. “Geez, Katz, cranky much?” he questioned as Katz threatened him, but further sunk himself deeper into the couch. “I’ll hand deliver you to your wife,” Leo repeated to himself, openly mocking Katz, “I’ll hand deliver you a knuckle sandwich, how about that?” he asked rhetorically with a shit eating grin on his face, still managing to diss out his sass in his inebriated state. If only he could see outside of himself just right Katz was.
krosxn:
Katz had been too wrapped up in organizing his office before hearing the knock. He briefly wondered who it was before hearing the slur of Leo. With a sigh, he went to the door to let him in. Blinking at the man, he helped him inside and shut the door behind. “Would you though? Because if you’re looking to get hired on, this is not the way to do it.” Clean him up, get him in bed, that’s what Katz’s goal was going to try to be tonight.
-
Leo was so out of it he didn’t realize he had been let in till Katz’ voice spooked him since he was so close. But after his delayed flinch, his mouth had stretched into a smile, seeing the friendly face he had seek out. “What do you mean? I’m just having fun.” He retaliated, not liking the ounce of judgement he sensed from Katz’s response. “This is the life, Katz!” he sang and began making his way further into Katz’ home with unstable legs yet he continued humming.
Is there anyone out there? Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
blakemadden:
Blake was taking the metro Uptown at probably the busiest time of the day, which is hindsight was a mistake, because it was busy as hell. No one had offered her a seat so the woman was holding tightly onto one of the handles hanging from a ceiling strap with one hand and cradling her sizeable bump with the other. Trying not to fall asleep from the rhythmic rocking of the train carriage she made a point of looking around her with attentiveness she usually reserved for when she was frosting something intricate. Maybe some significant people watching would stop her from dozing off. Eyes flicking between the figures that were also in the carriage they were the usual rag tag bunch of New York City residents, in that there was nothing about any of them that was expected, which was what kept the city fun after all. When her eyes fell on Leo she didn’t even register that it was him at first, doing a significant double take, her eyes widening. This was not planned. “Leo…” she exclaimed, face going pale.
-
Once he made it to her, their surprised expressions were matched. He reached up and gripped on the yellow strap tighter now as his mind was running faster than the train that treatened to throw him off balance. “Blake,” he managed to choke out from his dry mouth. he focused on her pale hand on a sizable bump jutting from her hips. His mind couldn’t even think of the one word to describe what she was. There was no way. No way. His denial repeating like a prayer. His big eyes kept shifting from her face to her stomach. “Wh-wha-what’s?” he gaped unable to form a coherent question. “I just saw you-why-” he husked out. his mind then began to process in it’s usual selfish way, and the realization that it could be his began to formulate.
