Romantic Lover

I miss my lover

I miss the way they laugh, that rings across the room

I miss the way they call to me, which is so specific to them

I miss their quiet presence, with no pretense just them sitting comfortably in their skin,

I miss my lover and the way they bring me food even when i am upset, but

I do not miss the long arguments, the feeling of being unheard or unseen, i do not miss constantly making space for them to expand to exist

With no space for me to be sometimes, i do not miss being a the center of someone else's world or the long winded understanding it requires to love another person

In the space of longing after all is said and done at the core of it all, I miss my lover because love is rarely perfect

Musings part 301

I look around and it seems life is sucking the energy out of us, to be alive is to struggle but it’s time we all got a break, trying to not speak for the whole collective but right now planning for the future feels like a pipe dream, the goal is to make it through the day, the week, the month

How is it that of all the worlds and realities we could have built this is the one we saw fit to nurture, a world that leaves so many wanting and so few full

It’s innate for us to be greedy and selfish, it’s could even be called life, life exists by survival and survival is primal but we are conscious sentient beings shouldn’t that count for something.

I wonder what other type of worlds could we have built? Worse or better than this ?

Get to know your self,

What you love, like or hate

What makes you smile the widest

What makes you feel excited

What is love to you

What makes you feel afraid

What saddens you deeply

Who brightens up your day

As an introvert, HSP

Living in a highly extroverted world, picking where I choose to extend my energy without feeling ashamed or like I am missing out, is one of the things I want to embody

via radiantsomatics

Musings part 209

Is loving a part of hurting or is hurting a part of loving

We meet someone who makes us smile and happy and excited but they also make us sad, hurt and upset

It’s like a dance between two souls, is it a forever dance? Where we find each other and do the dance in every single life time?

Or is this life time sadly not the forever after one but the dance one

I’ll never know, all I know is, in every moment that I am not with you, I long to be.

Is it worth it?

The efforts we put in, to be with another human,

I would say yes, because love holds up a mirror to your face and you get a chance to see your self differently.

But is it worth it?

To feel truly loved by another is the most profound feeling we can experience

But is it worth it?

Yes, because the gain and the loss of love is the truest evidence of our humanity

Love is worth it

From the beginning

It never was

I was never the one

I ain’t even in the running

Sometimes we fall into the in between

A neither here or there situation

It might seem familiar but there are no guidelines

It’s like groping in the dark for a version of something that might or might not exist

Hearts breaking, thoughts spiraling

How do you navigate a path that has never been crossed

What hurts the most?

The denial within myself

The unveiling of the truth

The painting I drew that was a lie

The preparations to start again at the end

What really hurts the most is the disappointment