Turns Out When A Religious Astronaut Dies In Space They’re Out Of Bounds Of Their After Life, Instead

quick Tempered Fi design sheet since y'all liked her so much <3

anyway! the banana bread vendor at the farmers market is called "better than sex" but this year they changed it to "almost better than sex" which means the bread is just worse this year or girlie got some good dick since last summer

Anyways obviously the only correct way to have Deadpool in the spiderverse is if there's just one Deadpool. And he keeps ending up in different universes causing shenanigans but it's always the same Deadpool. He switches art styles/appearance depending on universe. The go-home machine can't figure out if he even has a home universe. (Believe me Miguel has tried.) He hits on most age-appropriate spideys and then hits on their MJs too. Villains in most universes seem to inexplicably know him, or at least know of him. He keeps getting kicked out of HQ. He's 100% aware that all this logic only works because it's an epic crossover and the writers wanted it that way.

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

As the only member of your hero team who isn’t immortal, everyone else is having a hard time understanding why you think work conditions are bad.

The list of regrets I totally have and am not just writing because Charlie is making me, Vagina Vaggie is glaring at me, and I want the free rent:

By Angel Dust, 3 time X-X-X award winner.

(Warning, there is some victim blaming in this. The abuse Angel faces from Val is not his fault, but given that I’m writing this from his perspective I figured it would be something he’d add.)

1. Writing this list

2. Verbally complaining about writing this list cause now Vagina wants to stab me.

3. Only taking half my usual hit before starting today.

4. Complaining about not being high enough.

5. Not hiding my drugs better

6. Not having more stashes of drugs

7. Calling TV superior to radio.

8. Not killing that snake before he had a chance to go to the hotel.

9. Not “trying hard enough” at this shitty hotel.

10. Being too close to roof so the CRAZY BITCH COULD THROW ME OFF OF IT.

11. Walking up the stairs with Pentious only to have to go IMMEDIATELY BACK DOWN.

12. Signing my deal with fucking Valentino. Seriously I’m a fucking idiot.

13. Even suggesting the idea that Charlie should come to the studio. She’s just going to get hurt.

14. Mouthing off to Val.

15. Not getting Charlie out of the hotel sooner

16. Being such a pathetic, dick sucking ho who isn’t good at anything beyond sex.

17. Not being able to take all of this.

18. Not acting well enough cause some this bitchass cat is seeing through me.

19. Ever offering that bitchass cat my services.

20. Pushing Husk’s boundaries

21. Not being my true self.

22. Acting for so long I don’t even really know who my true self is

23. Being a dick to Charlie

24. Being a dick to Husk

25. Being a dick to everyone

26. Putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

27. Calling Smiles a creepy dommy daddy.

28. Letting Niffty know about some of my more kinky films. She’s getting ideas…

29. Trying to play poker with Husk (and not even strip poker!)

30. Testing if my venom works on myself (it doesn’t and now I have pink bite marks)

31. Leaving what I used to clean my bites out because somehow Alastor found them and is now TEMPORARILY PARALYZED AND I DONT WANT HIM TO KILL ME WHEN HE CAN MOVE AGAIN.

32. Not answering Val’s texts.

33. Wearing boots. Seriously these things hurt sometimes.

34. Having ugly feet so I can’t NOT wear boots.

35. Tracking mud into the hotel

36. Mentioning sex around the Egg Bois because now I have to explain what it is.

37. Describing sex as something their boss “has never had,” it got back to Pentious and I’m scared.

38. Mentioning “Vox” anywhere in Alastor’s vicinity.

39. Agreeing to play Monopoly with Niffty. In general Monopoly sucks but Niffty likes to get knives involved?!?!

40. Getting addicted to drugs.

41. Getting caught in that alleyway by my BITCHASS brother.

42. Not trying harder for Molly.

43. Not saying goodbye.

44. Fucking overdosing.

45. Doing literally fucking nothing with my life and nothing with my death.

46. Taking the easy was out and doing whatever pops told me to

47. Yelling “FUCK” loudly in church that one time

48. Not teaching these people at the hotel how to FUCKING MAKE SPAGHETTI RIGHT?!

49. Getting high with Cherri.

50. Telling Val to “fuck off”

51. Flirting with that one cannibal guy because now they all seem to want to EAT ME (and not in the sexy way)

52. Leaving those pot brownies out. High cannibals, Egg Boiz, and Nifftys are terrifying.

53. Letting myself be named “Angel” because this makes shit too damn confusing plus I think Niffty wants to KILL ME?!

54. Not spending more time with these losers

55. Not opening myself up to Husk sooner.

56. Being too much of a coward to tell him how I feel.

57. Mentioning Pent has two dicks to Cherri cause she won’t stop asking about it.

58. Not doing enough to save Pentious.

59. Not telling him how much he means to me.

60. Trying to lift way more than I should have. Apparently six arms doesn’t mean I’m super strong.

61. Calling Niss a short motherfucker who nobody likes. I’m sorry, I’ll be better (and call him something even worse next time.)

62. Still being too much of a coward to tell Husk how I feel.

63. Flirting with Husk in Italian when he UNDERSTOOD ME THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?!

64. Getting a room on the same side of the building as Alastor’s because he keeps laughing at 3 in the morning???

65. Kissing Husk in public. Val is mad.

66. Trying to even have a boyfriend with Val around. It’s stupid.

67. Calling yourself stupid for wanting to have a boyfriend.

68. Giving my boyfriend access to this list.

69. No regrets. Only 69. :D (Jesus Christ you’re a child.)

Bond seeing the future is cool and all, but can we talk about how Mrs. Yor Briar Forger was way ahead of her time? She didn't act as Anya wanting to protect herself at school was ridiculous or not" girly/lady like."

She also teaches her daughter that her fists are for protection.

To not use her emotions lead her to physically react, remaining cool and calm is something a "big girl" would do and to just walk away.

Smiling and rising above bullies is the best choice.

She also in all of that, taught Anya to not only defend herself, but her friends, as she uses Becky as a scapegoat for punching Damian, despite that being a lie, it's a complex reasoning for such a young, innocent girl.

And with all that, she even teaches Anya misdirection. When Yor drunkily fights Loidman, we see her put Loid in a rhythm, repeating actions to get him familiar with her moves, then catching him off guard.

(At least I'm assuming that's what happens even though we don't see her necessarily teach Anya specifically, Anya's actions show that it may very well have happened) Anya follows this in a sense when she punches Damian. She looks down the hall, not only to see the Headmaster, but it causes Damian to be distracted and looking elsewhere when Anya then punches him while he's off guard.

Yor is amazing. Just from Anya asking how to protect herself, Yor gave her a handful of lessons with both her hands and actions. Yor is a great mother by teaching her daughter how not to only protect herself, but others, and that staying calm and walking away makes you the bigger person.

With how fast she turned on him I 10000% believe the TARDIS was playing Sutekh for a fool the whole time, btw.

Why did she never mention it? Never hint at it, in say The Doctor Wife? Girl never had to. She had that dog on a leash, on lock. Sutekh was stuck with her. She see's time non-linearly. She exists on a level Sutekh, for all his power, never can. She always knew that moment was coming.

If Sutekh sticking around meant she got some attention and sweet words? That the Doctor was neglecting to give her? Well a Time Machine has needs

You are Death. The last living thing has died. You've put the chairs on the tables, turned out the lights, and locked the universe behind you. Something whispers from behind the door.