Dragonball: Evolution (2009) BEST SCENE

Sokka: Who do you think would win between Zuko and Katara?

Azula: Comparing Zuko and Katara is like comparing apples and oranges.

Zuko: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Azula: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Zuko: Which one of us is the orange?

Azula: Don’t do that to yourself.

A male wizard sells his future firstborn for knowledge to a demon. A female warlock sells her future firstborn to the fae for power. The two of them have a child together, and now the fae and demon have come to collect.

I need a linked universe au with them

Au where everyone in the membrane family firmly believes in the paranormal, but no one agrees on which specific cryptids are real.

And then Zim shows up, but no one agrees on just what Zim is or what to do.

Dib thinks that Zim is a alien invader that needs to be stopped at all costs because “weird alien technology and green skin”

Professor Membrane thinks Zim is some sort of robot, cyborg or government weapon because he’s SEEN the amount of advanced weapons in his backpack, plus he once saw Zim lift a car with little effort. The green skin is some government made material.

Gaz takes one look at Zim and assumes “vampire”, with extremely sharp teeth, hatred of sunlight and superhuman strength and agility. Zim’s “advanced technology” is just magic that looks like technology (like a spelldrive) and the green skin is a genuine skin condition that vampires can have.

All of them want Zim taken down, but none of them are willing to work together because of all of them disagreeing on what Zim actually is and just HOW he should be taken down.

But the thing is,

we as the viewer never see Zim.

We see parts of him, like his PAK and the weapons inside, or hints of his green skin or his true eyes glowing in the dark, with the rest of him hidden from view. He hear him a couple times as well. But we never see enough for us to come to the conclusion of what Zim is by ourselves.

The Membranes don’t completely prove anything either, as Zim always escapes before any of them can figure out what he is and what he wants.

We are also never shown Zim’s perspective or what his true motives are. We are only shown the perspectives of each Membrane, who all have different opinions on what they’re going up against with their own proof for their own case. So Zim’s actions and behaviours throughout the show just confuse us more as we, the viewers are left questioning which of the Membranes are right, or if they’re all wrong and Zim is something completely different.

The things learned about Zim can point in any direction as well. Water hurts him, but only like 50% of the time. Is it because he’s an alien with some inconsistent way of protecting himself against water, a robot that’s waterproofed in some areas but not others, a vampire that’s only hurt by holy water or is it because of some completely different reason? No one will ever know.

Vaggie: “Charlie? Can I have a pick-me-up?”

Charlie: “!! YES!!! OF COURSE ALWAYS!!!”

Charlie: “Uh- where to start, um- Oh oh oh! You have the most AMAZING laugh whenever you to relax enough for it and your voice is INCREDIBLE really easy to get lost listening to- You take skirt wearing to whole other level, you snore SO cutely in your sleep, and even if it’s a little concerning how fast you are with that spear, it’s also really kinda h-”

Vaggie: “I meant literally, babe. Like, thanks for making me blush, but…”

Charlie: “Ohhhh you want UPPIES?”

Vaggie: “Girlfriend-based personal vertical augmentation- yeah. I’d, I’d like uppies. Please.”

Charlie: “One vertical upgrade via your girlfriend coming right UP!” (giggles) (picks up) “Heheh, how’s this?”

Vaggie: (is up picked) “Perfect, sweetie. Now carry me over to Alastor?”

Alastor: “?”

Charlie: “Okay?” (starts walking) “…why…?”

Vaggie: “I wanna punch him in his stupid smiling extremely punchable face.”

Alator: “Oh I AM flattered!”

Vaggie: “Great he’s given implied consent to a beating, let’s go.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (turning around) “We’re not doing that.”

Vaggie: “We don’t have to. I’ll do the punching, all you have to do is go over there and hold me at eye level.”  

Charlie: "Vaggie-"

Alastor: “Get on a level with ME? Rather impossible for you, I’m afraid. You simply lack my, dare I say DEPTH of vision, ha ha! DO take care you don’t suffer from altitude sickness in the attempt through, hmm?”

Vaggie: “Two seconds of being held up to his face, Charlie, that’s all I’m asking.”

Charlie: “Vaggie, that’s still assault on my part. That’s assault with a deadly weapon, even!”

Vaggie: “I’m not armed?”

Charlie: “Are you breathing?”

Vaggie: “Uhh, yeah..?”

Charlie: “If you’re breathing then you’re a threat.”

Vaggie: (grinning) “Aww, Charlie.”

Charlie: “ESPECIALLY to guys like Alastor. No offence, Alastor.”

Alastor: “Compliment accepted!”

Vaggie: (beaming) (didn’t hear him) “You’re just saying that.”

Alastor: (annoyed dial tune) “Ahem. Well, I just said-”

Charlie: “I’m saying it because it’s true, and my ex still instinctively flinches at any HINT of a red hair bow at around chest height.” (switches to cuddling vaggie) “So let’s go be a threat over here instead, okay? Out of Alastor punching range.”

Vaggie: “Still within spear throw.”

Alastor: “Ahh yes, your darling divine toothpick. How quaint!”

Charlie: “Would you really wanna get his blood all over your spear?”

Vaggie: (HEAVY SIGH) “Nnnnno… I guess not.”

Alastor: (honestly insulted) “Rude.”

Charlie: “Didn’t thinks so!” (muttering) “The way you fawn over the stupid thing when it get’s so much as a stupid little smudge from me poking it in it’s stupid perfectly polished face…”

Vaggie: “What?”

Alastor: (evil static) “SHE said-”

Charlie: “Nothing! Petty revenge always ends up biting you in the ass! Anyway.” (grins brightly) “We’ve got better things to do than punch people in the face!”

Vaggie: “Good point.” (touches charlie’s jaw thoughtfully) “...this angle is pretty useful for more than just punching.”

Alastor: “AhaHA! And there is my cue to get off the air!”

Charlie: “Yeah…?”

Vaggie: “Yeah..”

Alastor: “Indeed!”

Charlie: “Like for tongue wrestling~?”

Vaggie: “….”

Alastor: “….”

Alastor: “Oh dear~!

Vaggie: “….”

Vaggie: “What.”

Charlie: “Well if it’s combat you’re after- we COULD have a battle for dominance. Y’know. With our mouths.”

Charlie: (wink)

Vaggie: “….never mind. You can put me down now.”

Alastor: “Oooh~”

Charlie: “!! NO NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK-”

Vaggie: “Charlie. It’s seared into my brain.”

Alastor: (grinning) “Dreadful! Truly dreadful!”

Charlie: “NOOOO NO NO UN-SEAR IT! UN-SEAR IT FROM THE BRAIN!!!!”

Vaggie: “I don’t feel up for punching anyone either anymore, so don’t worry.”

Charlie: “Would, would punching put you back in the mood!? Vaggie please wait hold on just one sec-”

Charlie: “ALASTOR! CAN YOU COME OVER- NOOO DON’T WALK AWAY, I NEED-”

Charlie: VAGGIE!!! Wait!! I’m sorry! Please wait up! Please I’m sorry I just got SO in the mood and kinda COMPLETELY lost my mind with your talking all low right next to me like that, like when we-”

Alastor: (distantly) “Dear ones~ I am not yet out of hearing range~”

Vaggie: “Good. Suffer.”

Charlie: “I’m suffering IM SUFFERNG! PLEASE!!!” (trailing after girlfriend) “Vaggiiiiieeeee..! S-smooches????”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, I can’t even look at you right now.”

Charlie: “We could do the smooches without looking!!!”

Vaggie: “Even worse. Every time I close my eye I see your tongue suited up in armor, waving around a sword.”

Charlie: (horrified) “No! NO!!! IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A METAPHOR!”

Vaggie: “Metaphorically speaking, I’ve been scarred.”

Charlie: “Th- then let me kiss it better!”

Vaggie: “Not how it works, babe.”

Charlie: “ARGH!”

Angel Dust: “Hey’a tootes! Guess who’s back from LONG and HARD day of… the fuck is wrong with her?”

Vaggie: “She’s fine.”

Charlie: (clutching vaggie’s arm) (wailing) “FANFIC RUIN LIVES!!!!!”

Angel Dust: “Ain’t that the truth. Porn tip- NEVER try adapting a smut fic for the screen. Choreography’s a nightmare…”

Vaggie: “Wow thanks for the amazing advice that we definitely needed.”

Angel Dust: “Ya welcome.”

Charlie: “We might still need it! Right Vaggie!? We might still be doing stuff like that in future-”

Vaggie: “What we could really use right now is a few drinks. Angel, I’ll spot yours if you can convince Husk to open early.”

Charlie: (slumping over bar) “I hate my life.”

Angel Dust: “That’s cute, Charlie-horse.” (lean down to whisper at vaggie) “Ya sure she hasn’t already had any...?”

Vaggie: “I’m sure-”

Charlie: “-the whole PROBLEM is me NOT GETTING ANY!”

Vaggie: “Annnd now everyone knows it, perfect.”

Angel Dust: “Oh now this is JUICY!”

Charlie: “What everyone? I only told Angel…?”

Vaggie: “Angel can’t keep anything to himself, including himself.”

Angel Dust: “Spittin’ nothin’ but truths tonight, huh Maximum Vaggige? Cherri will love this- I’m gonna need ALL deets! Wait right here and I’ll get Husker fluff to loosen those gossipy tongues right up!!”

Vaggie: “Great. More tongue stuff.”

Charlie: “UGH.”

Vaggie: “….”

Charlie: “…”

Vaggie: “Charlie.”

Charlie: “Meh?”

Vaggie: “I swear, if I could kiss you right now without physically cringing, I would.”

Charlie: “...Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Yeah?”

Charlie: “What if we’re never able to kiss again?”

Vaggie: “…”

Charlie: “…Vaggie this is the part where you say don’t be silly and reassure me.”

Vaggie: “I know.”

Charlie: “Tell me I’m being silly, Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Charlie, I… I will always love you, no matter what.”

Charlie: “That’s-”(sitting bolt upright) “THAT’S NOT REASSURING!”

Vaggie: (slumping next to her at the bar) “Where the FUCK is Husk and those drinks.”

Hey remember that episode of Spongebob where Sandy sings about being homesick for Texas and Spongebob and Patrick overhear it and are worried that she’s going to leave Bikini Bottom so they have a Texas party at the Krusty Krab with all their friends, recreating things in Sandy’s song but they fuck it up like, pecan pie is just a can of peas shoved in a pie, barbeque is barbed wire in the shape of a Q, and the ten gallon hats are just plastic water jugs on their heads, and like…. Sandy just laughs so hard she breaks into tears, cause she sees what they’re trying to do for her to make her feel at home because they love her and don’t want her to leave…………… yo do you ever think about that goddamn episode

Post Reveal Convo

YOR: “Ooh, I stopped counting after I got into the triple digits.”

MELINDA: “Oh… oh my. D-does your husband know?”

YOR: “He does! It took me a while to tell him the truth, though. These kinds of conversations can be so troublesome, after all. But it turns out, we have a very similar number of conquests!”

MELINDA: “Uh… you don’t say?”

YOR: “Yes! Isn’t that funny? Although, not to brag but lowers voice I have nearly a dozen more than him.”

MELINDA: “Er-“

YOR: “Similar levels of experience really do matter in situations like this, don’t you think? Loid and I are quite capable of handling all kinds of situations together! One-on-one is rarely an option with our lifestyle, so we’re quite used to handling multiple people at once. I prefer to get up close and personal, but Loid does love his toys. Especially projectiles.”

MELINDA: “Projectiles???”

YOR: “Oh yes! Not my preference, but I must admit they always leave such interesting splatter patterns.”

MELINDA: …

ALSO MELINDA: “Sooooo, I don’t suppose you and your husband are busy this Saturday night, huh?”

Turns out when a religious astronaut dies in space they’re out of bounds of their after life, instead of going to Heaven, they go to you. God of the abyss.