Littlecigs - Out Of Body

Realizing now I am covered in red flags. Like I knew I was bad but yeesh this is kindaaaaa this is kinda a problem huh

I want to be more than my disorders but I also want people to be aware of them and understand them and I find that people think I'm trying to push my problems onto them and force them to be sympathetic but like...

I don't need you to feel sorry for me I just want you to understand me. I just want to be respected...

they should invent a desire to be wanted that doesn't feel grotesque and perverse

Having bpd really is like playing life on the hardest difficulty it has to offer. When you're upset, it's like grief. When you're mad, it's like fighting back the rage of a warrior. When you're numb, it's absolutely debilitatingly so, and when you're dissociated, it's like nothing on this planet, including yourself, exists or is even real anymore. It's a constant battle of fighting against your own body's extremely out of control instincts. It's not supposed to be this hard to simply interact with other human beings and yourself, is it?

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

what do you mean it’s “”not healthy”” for me to lock myself in my room all day and completely isolate myself from everyone