Headcanon That Agent Browning Has An Exy-obsessed Kid Who Thinks Neil Josten Is The Coolest Thing Since

Andrew: Whoever makes Neil fall asleep gets $500 dollars

Aaron, grabbing a frying pan: I don’t even want the money

not now kitten, daddy's too busy rewatching kevin day switch his racquet to the hand he was never supposed to be able to use again and proceed to score a buzzer beater game winning goal against the ravens

Why not spell pants like “pance.” Just a little thought I had

“Yeah, murder for hire is surprisingly affordable,” says Neil.

Kevin stares at him.

“I get a discount,” Neil justifies.

the end of men in black is so funny. your boss trains you for two days on interplanetary relations then says "ok I think you can take it from here. I'm wiping my own memory so don't bother calling me if you have any questions"

Most people when they find out about Andreil are quick to judge Neil's taste in men, but Jean, Aaron, and a few special agents in the FBI know the truth. It's really Andrew Minyards taste who people should be side eyeing.

impostor syndrome is a common problem in academia. For example my colleagues keep putting me in the airlock and ejecting me into space

absolutely crazy how jeremy, captain of the sunshine court, meets wymack’s recruiting standards. he’s a fox parading around as a… trojan horse 🫢

im still fucked up about mag 31. Jon reads a statement about some hunt avatar werewolf in america tracking people for Fun and then letting one of them leave alive and just goes well thats not my problem and then straight up goes to the same general area in america and guess what happens. guess what happens to him. guess.

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.