I Don’t Need Comfort I Need A Bullet In My Head

the first thing to understand is you absolutely CANNOT kill yourself about this. that is what these fascists want. it's convenient for them if the opposition self-exterminates. stay alive and fight. it's harder but if everyone gives up then we are truly done for. we need you and we need each other.

this is horrifying, but it is survivable. the human spirit is to adapt and to work together and that's exactly what we'll do to turn this around. it's going to be okay. if not now, then in the future after we make it so.

we can do this.

I think the goal is not to be perfect and try to change everything of us (or others too, as we project on them our "dark" sides) but to accept ourselves despite our imperfections and "flaws". No matter how much we try, we'll always end up doing or saying something that can be considered wrong or bad, even unconsciously. And that's completely okay. We interface with different people, and we cannot please everyone or we'll just go crazy. But we need to please ourselves and give us a break. Be kind with ourselves as we're just trying. Appreciate who we are, light and dark. We'll always make mistakes, we'll always make a wrong choice... Sure we can try to change what we really do not appreciate, the coping mechanisms that are hindering and making us suffer (the ones we're not even aware of), but we need to remember there's no recipe to be perfect as there's no real perfection. We can always try to be better but we cannot reach that perfection we aim to as it doesn't exist. We cannot be that to feel accepted and included, to feel seen and valued, to feel less alone: people change their mind as the wind anyway. But we can see all of who we are and welcome our darkest side and try to feel more content and... not make us feel alone by abandoning and neglecting a side of us that still exists and needs our love, even if we accuse it to not let us be accepted by others. Maybe if we accepted it, accepted our whole self, and knew us... maybe we'd feel less alone, more apt to see our light within without having to compare to others and more open to others too.

I feel like as a teen it is incredibly hard to change and better yourself especially when you live in a household that isn’t the healing type, as instead of healing the trauma sticks in each and every situation and because of their trauma they’ll feel the need to make you feel guilty because you expressed yourself by, for forbid, crying!

i hate that kind of sadness where your chest physically hurts

Never forgiving y'all for normalizing eds

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

HAI IK I WONT GET ANY SOOO...

____ Amount of notes and ill.... (5 notes per person)

5: Clean my room :]

10: Eat 3 meals a day :/

20: Clean my closet TvT (SOBS)

30: Get enough sleep (10 hrs)

50: Let myself take breaks

100: Tell my mom I need a phycologist :] (She said she'll try and find me one :3)

300: Finnally write my story I've been planing

500: Throw away sh blades

in case you need to hear this

workout because its good for your heart, lungs, releases endorphins, and you want to get stronger. not because it’ll make you skinny or make your body look a certain way.

wear sunscreen every day in order to protect yourself from easily preventable and deadly skin cancer, not with the goal of preventing aging (there is nothing wrong with aging or wrinkles; it is a natural part of life and reflection of the life you live).

eat more vegetables because you need the fiber to make you more regular, they help lower your risk of eye and digestive problems, and they help in nutrient re-uptake. not because eating only carbs is “bad” for you. you need a combination of carbs, fruit/veg, protein, fiber, fat, etc for a full balanced diet. 

cut out dairy from your diet if it makes you shit your brains out every single time without fail, not because it will “make you fat”.

drink more water because, despite how annoying it is to be told “just drink water”, it does actually make you feel better if you’re anxious or your head hurts or you don’t have any energy. not because it’ll “flush out your immune system uwu” or it will make your skin clear.

drink green tea because its delicious, not because it’s a “natural detox”. ( “detoxes” aren’t real. your kidneys detoxify your blood for you)

not everything “natural” is automatically healthy for you. not everything “unnatural” is automatically unhealthy/dangerous

cutting out whole food groups and labeling them as “bad for you” in any form is restrictive. if you aren’t allergic to gluten, you don’t need to cut gluten from your diet in order to be healthy. if you were not specifically instructed by a doctor to go keto in order to aid treatment for a disease (such as cancer or epilepsy), you do not and should not go keto. 

do “healthy” things because you deserve to live a long, healthy life. yes, you. your weight doesn’t matter and it has never mattered. you deserve to keep yourself safe. 

You have to stop ruining things for yourself preemptively because you believe they’ll fail anyway. Give yourself a chance to succeed.

hey if you're trans in the us i love you. hey if you're queer in the us i love you. hey if you're a person of color in the us i love you. hey if you're a woman in the us i love you. hey if you're disabled in the us i love you. i love you i love you i love you

Sometimes I get scared I won’t see the day my life gets better, other time I wonder if i could even stay alive long enough to see it. I’m scared for my future and I barely see myself having one anyway. Do I really want to live long enough to find out anymore?