Latest Posts by lyliana1277 - Page 8

The other day there were homophobic slurs tagged on some of the buildings around here, which was scary, but then we noticed that somebody had just tagged the word "FUCK" on another building so our current theory is just that some kid found a can of spraypaint and went mad with power and decided to write every bad word they could think of at the same time

My 5th birthday party was circle themed. I had a circle cake, everyone surrounded me in a circle to sing “happy birthday circle.” And I screamed at them if they didn’t listen to me.

Terrifying meltdown occurred over a wiffle ball bat, a piñata, and my grandmother, who wouldn’t stop talking so I could listen for the “whistle” like my dad taught me.

If/when you have children please let them (as soon as they're able) pick the theme of their birthday parties.

The girl who used to do my hair let her toddler pick the theme of her 3rd birthday and she chose Target. Like, the store. So everything was red and white and covered in bullseyes and I'm just so full of joy looking at the pictures on Facebook right now because it is obvious that this little girl is having the time of her life and that her parents put so much love and creativity into making the decorations and cupcakes.

Children will come up with some of the best and most fascinating ideas if you let them.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to answer that because we don’t really know what happened. One day we were okay and over some period of time things just kept getting worse and we woke up one day and realized, “Fuck, is this what disability feels like?” And we still struggle to admit we’re disabled. Or maybe someone was born this way and nothing “happened.” Either way, we aren’t obligated to tell you anything. And that’s just how it is.

One thing abled people need to realize, is that when you ask a disabled person "what happened", not only are you inquiring about a person's medical history, which is personal information, but also you are potentially asking them to relive what might have been the most traumatic time of their life.

An accident that left them unable to walk again. An illness that wrecked their life. A natural or man made disaster that took their loved ones.

Your curiosity simply is not worth digging up someone else's pain.

First anime I ever watched an episode: Sailor Moon

First anime I attempted to get into the series but couldn’t fully: My Hero Academia

First anime I devoured from start to finish and need more of: Saga of Tanya the Evil

I feel like Food Wars also needs a mention here, but it’s a very casual watch for me.

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

I’m down for both of these challenges. Except on November 21st. That’s my husband’s birthday. I’ll experience that day.

This month I’ve decided to participate in an event called “October,” where for every day in October I’m going to experience a day in October.

Here’s the prompt list I’m using in case anyone wants to join me in this challenge:

Next month I’m thinking of trying out the “No November November” challenge, where I’ll refrain from experiencing November for the whole month of November.

I hope he found someone Better that was worthy of being with him. I would have loved that date!

Where is this man? Asking for a friend. That friend is me.

adhd tips i stole from jawz.jpeg on instagram

these have actually helped me so much

If you meet someone with chronic pain and you think, "wow, they're so chill, I didn't even realize they were in pain"--please know that within me lives the rage of every war god.

No Diana, I’m not going to get better, so stop asking me if I’m better yet.

this is definitely not a new take, but the part of “chronic illness” that abled people can’t conceive of is the “chronic” part.

everyone’s been tired before. everyone’s been in pain before. everyone’s been nauseous before.

so when someone says that they have chronic pain or chronic fatigue or any other chronic illness symptom, an abled person is using the completely wrong frame of reference. they’re going “oh. it’s like that sports injury I had, but it lasts longer” without being able to wrap their heads around the fact that… it’s both nothing like that and also possibly lasts forever

I’m neurodiverse and I have some of the best friends who are also neurodiverse. Best thing about not being in school and having to find friends there? Neurodiverse adults are everywhere and many are realizing that they are special instead of weird because of it.

I’m not going to lie. The neurotypical world is hard to fit in because it wasn’t made for us. But having friends and who are like you make it easier to deal with the NT world. Plus, we tend to have the cooler hobbies and jobs and past times and collections.

We need to talk more about Autistic, ADHD and Neurodiverse Joy

As a kid I felt hopeless because the only narrative you ever see about Autism is the loneliness, the otherness, the bullying and the struggle. I never once saw anything about the joys of having autism or that autistic people can actually have nice things in life. It was all doom and gloom. The world tells autistic and neurodiverse children that their lives are going to suck because of the way their brain is, because of something they can't control and had no say in, and it's wrong

I'm Autistic and I fell in love. I'm Autistic and I have friends, good friends, who love me back. I'm Autistic and I do feel joy and togetherness and peace. THAT is the message we need young Neurodiverse kids to hear. No more shows about our hardships, more stories about our joy please

This is really helpful!

Autistic overload is like internet bandwidth.

If you're struggling to understand why you are good on some days and bad on others, one way to think of your brain is like internet access.

Some people have direct access, so any information incoming is fast, easy to process and unless they start being really silly and downloading 20 movies at once, not too much is going to interrupt their experience.

Autistic brains are more like public internet access. It's not that greatly connected in the first place, it can't handle large data packets, and if you're not careful you may get some unwanted information downloaded.

If you're accessing this when not much is happening, you may not get a bad experience. Not much is draining the limited bandwidth and processing times are faster.

The next day, however, you may get a completely different experience and even just connecting is impossible.

So, it's okay to sometimes switch off that access and just recover for a while.

I have been struggling with depression lately, but it’s mostly related to my struggles with chronic illness and the lack of support I have from my medical providers. I need to start this aloud so I know that it’s situational and that it’s not my fault.

Also, I need a new therapist who can better acknowledge that it isn’t for my lack of trying. Having a neurotypical and abled therapist is draining and sometimes makes me feel like I’m being gaslit. And that’s not ok.

I’m looking for a new therapist but that takes time and more patience than I can sometimes muster with the US healthcare system and state insurance/Medicaid. Do not recommend the American healthcare experience, 0/10 rating, no stars.

I’m not okay right now and that has to be okay for now.

I feel like this about the doctors responsible for caring for each party too. Managing your own care is exhausting af.

my body is a group project and no one is doing their part correctly

Here’s where I am today

Wish to know where your needs fall on the spectrum?

Take the test here.

This test is NOT for diagnosis.

Where your needs fall can change throughout your life and even day to day.

I know I wasn’t diagnosed as a kid because it wasn’t a thing they looked for in girls and I was social and good at school and acted “normal”, but omg how was I not diagnosed as a kid?!

autism is just being a picky eater, wearing the same hoodie for 9 days straight, and the sun stressing you out

😍😍😍

This is the life

Mood

Giving up facial expressions has been amazing.

Ok so im learning some stuff about unmasking as I attempt to do it for the first time ... so I figured I'd share in case it helps anyone :)

My ND traits are a natural part of me, but because they aren't habitual yet, unmasking is a conscious, deliberate choice. Simply having ~knowledge~ about my brain will not help me as much as it could if I acted on it

Many aspects of unmasking (especially stimming) feel super forced and awkward sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm faking! It just means I'm out of practice

I've spent my whole life ignoring or denying my own needs, so the little voice in my brain is very difficult to hear. I miss some cues sometimes

My brain is very much like a little toddler tugging on my sleeve. It constantly approaches me with something to say. Treating the voice with compassion allows me to make a choice that I might otherwise deny my conscious self

When I actually started listening to my brain, I realized that I don't like what it's saying. "It's too bright. It's too loud. You don't want to make facial expressions anymore. You're bored. You're burning out." It makes me feel vulnerable. DO NOT IGNORE THE BRAIN, SUNNY. It is saying something for a reason!!!

Take breaks. Take breaks take breaks take breaks. If I have the option to rest but I'm thinking of powering through ... don't. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Most people genuinely do not care if I stim. They just vibe with it. Some of my friends and my fiancé even think its cute that my joy is so visible, which makes me feel a lot better about it :)

When I actually do stuff that's good for my brain (creating routines, wearing sensory friendly clothes, scheduling alone time) I reap the benefits! Who'd have thunk it

Sleep is like 90% of the battle

Sometimes I get upset, emotional, and scared about unmasking. I'm ultra-conscious of myself. I wonder how I look to other people. BUT! I am learning learn to defend myself from my own ableism in those little quiet moments where I play with a tangle on the bus or slip away to a quiet space

I am happier. It is coming more naturally. I never want to go back :)

Horses, hands down, 100%

What's your favourite Special Interest?

What's the topic that gets your more excited than any other? Is it more than one?

Mine is graveyards and anything to do with space!

Sometimes I feel like breaking down asking myself "why is everything so hard for me?" "Why can't I do the same things as other people?" "Why do I need to struggle with the stupidest of things?" But then I remember autism is a ✨️disability✨️ and I am, in fact, disabled

Organizing and cleaning life hacks for the neurodiverse and spoonie crowds.

I wasn’t prepared to cry again so soon!

Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.

If being too giving is wrong, I don’t want to be right. I currently don’t have enough money to give to all the causes I care about. Included in my “When we have more money” list is so many causes and people I want to help. It’s also why I want to help people in my future work. I’m a helper because someone has to be. My mom taught me that the meaning to life was to love, and that includes those less fortunate.

one thing I've noticed with being autistic is my innate sense of justice

people tend to be so passive to awful injustices and say "well it is what it is"

but I can never see it that way

how can people be so dismissive of other human beings and their lives? how can we reach equality when every person has such a selfish point of view?

it's really horrifying, and yet we're considered the ones with no empathy

found an old google doc i made of my favorite bat species. you should suggest more species for my list pls

I needed this today

sending love out tonight to everyone who is progressively losing their abilities, whether that's movement, ability to walk, eyesight, or hearing.

it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you can't do things that you used to be able to do. I'll be honest, it feels like you're losing control of your life. it can feel very isolating and hopeless. its scary and overwhelming, and it's so hard to deal with.

you are not less than just because you can do less. im proud of you for still being here, and i wish you ease with adjusting to new ways of life. please take care of yourself, i love you.

Things the Fellowship has argued about

What name to call Aragorn

What name to call Gandalf

What to call their meals. Boromir thinks, if it is eaten at dinnertime, regardless of whether it is the first meal of the day or not, then it is dinner. Sam thinks it isn't proper to call the first meal of the day dinner. Aragorn suggests they combine the two words but now everyone is fighting over whether it should be called breakfast-dinnner or dinner-breakfast. The fight nearly becomes physical

Whether Legolas or Gimli is winning their daily argument with eachother

If hobbits are regular sized and everyone else is really big, or if everyone else is regular sized and hobbits are small

The same as above except with horses and ponies

If Gimli's beard is real or not. This one started as a joke between Merry and Pippin but then Legolas saw how mad it made Gimli and so continues to bring it up

Inter-hobbit fighting about whether it is called pot-ae-toes, pot-ah-toes, or taters

"Can Legolas really talk to trees, or is he just fucking with us?" Aragorn and Gandalf refuse to weigh in on this

Whether the Ent-draught caused Merry and Pippin to grow or if they just did that on their own. This fight is Pippin vs. Everyone Else

Whether the non-hobbits of the Fellowship would be Tooks, Brandybucks, or Bagginses. This argument is unintelligible to most of them, although Gandalf has the knowledge to be offended when Pippin suggests he would be a Took.

"What would happen if someone ate the ring?"

Fights over whether the elves, the dwarves, or the hobbits tell the story of the reclaiming of Erebor most accurately. Even though Gandalf was there, he just shrugs when anyone asks him

Which variety of pipeweed is the best kind. Merry threatened Gimli to a duel over this one

Who gets next watch

And my thoughts went from that poor saxophonist to look at that flexibility and strength. Oh wait, looking at the flexibility they might have had a type of EDS.

Still iconic and brilliant. Much wow.

The blessed time of Cab Calloway of his orchestra and his extraordinary dancers.

(Put on sound)

This is absolutely brilliant! Worth the read. I want to see this put to music and dance now.

The stage is empty, save a single thought. She walks over to pick it up and it leaps from her grasp, landing on the worn planks with a hollow thump. She reflects briefly that it sounds like a heartbeat, the sound of this thought landing on the stage, and begins her chase. Her bare feet flash from a billowing skirt and pad softly in pursuit. As the thought moves away from her in a fluid bound, she giggles and whirls around to leap after it. The cresting fabric of her skirt pulls tight around her knees, and then loosens as her direction changes. The only thing she can see, can focus on,  is catching this thought, though it alludes her thus far. It pauses and she slides across the boards with a rasping sound that reminds her of leather in some strange way. She crouches low, one knee bent up to rest against her shoulder as her arm stretches out to hold her balance.  Her skirts wafts gently under her left leg, stretched out long and lean. Her breath is harsh and ragged, and all traces of giggles have ceased. She is now determined; she is a woman with a mission. She holds her position steady as the though turns listlessly in place.

                Suddenly it seems like there are two of them. Are her eyes playing tricks on her? She closes off all her senses, retreating into solitude for a moment or two, then comes back to the moment. As her eyes open she gasps and loses her balance, falling backwards. Her legs somewhat splayed, she attempts to regain some sort of composure as her eyes widen in amazement. What was a solitary thought has become hundreds, each a different size and texture but all staring in her direction. She plants her hands on the wood between her legs and pushes into a hunkering position. The thoughts remain still. She extends a hesitant foot out towards a group of three. They remain still. As she slowly begins to shift her weight to that extended foot, she notices something of a tension amongst the triad. As she stretches her hands to stroke the closest one, pandemonium erupts. Every one of her thoughts is exploding away from her. She bursts into action, coiled muscles relishing the chance to spring her into the air.   Her breath is ragged, tearing from her lungs in short bursts as she flies about the stage. Nothing has meaning except that she, above all, must  lay hand on any one of these. But they are tricky and can sense her desperation. They playfully flit in and out of her range, seeming to know exactly the moment to dart away so her hands close on air.

              She moves about the stage, running after them as they all begin to vanish. As they seemingly all disappear, her eyes close and harsh sobs wrack her body as it sinks to the floor. She sits cross-legged with her face in her hands, and the lights on the stage begin to darken.

             Sitting alone with the last of her sobs behind her, she begins to wonder where she'll go from here. The last of her tears run down her face as she feels something silky crawl into her lap, a warm weight settling down as if to comfort her.

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON