This Is Slowly Becoming My Favorite Face! (^.^)v

I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.

super hyped for rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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(TCEST/NSFW-TMNT PPL STAY AWAY.  I don’t want you following me or reblogging my art.  I don’t care what you think.)

I planted a carrot and it sprouted into a very large Bigfoot who spoke German. I could see subtitles whenever he talked and at one point he stood over me repeating “Was ohr.” I woke up really confused and a bit scared.

hook line sinker

The big bad wolf, but bader-rer...

I was having a normal conversation with someone, except every noun was replaced with the word “microwave”.

Me in the shower: *writes a novel, its prequel and 5 sequels in 6 different languages. The words flow perfectly. Its plot is intricate. The characters are complex and 3D. It's heartwarming and tear jerking. It's perfect. The flowers are blooming. The bees are saved. There is world peace.*

Me the second i leave the shower: h o w 2 eNgLiSH

Leo: If Mikey and I were both drowning, who would you save?

Donnie: I don’t know, both of you.

Leo: No, if you could only save one of us.

Donnie: Well, I would probably save Mikey, because he can’t swim and I happen to know you’re an excellent swimmer.

Leo: What if I was holding an anchor? Who would you save then?

Donnie: Well, why don’t you just let go of the anchor?

Leo: It’s a family heirloom.

Donnie: I’m leaving.