Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
Fyodor: You're dead for that!
Dazai: Do it...
Dazai: Pussy.
Fyodor: I will enjoy this.
Chuuya, getting in the way: Hey, Elsa!
Chuuya: Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!
Dazai: I hope I get run over.
Atsushi: Aww, come on, it's Christmas! Get in the spirit!
Dazai, sighs: Fine, I hope I get run over by a reindeer.
Akutagawa: Mr. Dazai, truth or dare?
Dazai: Dare.
Chuuya: Why do you always choose dare?
Atsushi: Because he’s too scared to face the truth.
Chuuya: And what’s the truth?
Atsushi: That he’s waiting for someone to dare him to make out with you.
Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Dazai: And loud!
Dazai: And grumpy!
Dazai: And short!
Dazai: And oblivious to reality!
Chuuya:
Dazai: I’m in love with you.
Chuuya, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?
Dazai: Everyone.
Chuuya: …What?
Dazai: I told everyone I’m in love with you.
*ada!Chuuya au*
Atsushi: I can't tell whether Chuuya joining the ada was a good thing or not...
Atsushi: Because on one hand, I have much less paperwork to do, and Dazai seems much happier and more stable.
Atsushi: On the other hand-
Dazai, through the office door: Fuck yes Chuuya, there, there!
Atsushi: That.
Chuuya: Dazai, I said that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been 5 seconds late to our date. Please say something.
Dazai: Karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town...
Chuuya: I-
Chuuya: What are you doing?
Dazai, eating a cake at 3am in the bath with a knife: My best.
*playing twister*
Dazai: okay, Akutagawa, right hand red.
Akutagawa: *ends up on top of Atsushi*
Atsushi: wait— Dazai, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Dazai: I stopped spinning about 10 turns ago, I'm surprised you didn't notice sooner.
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