Side Theory

Reasons I'd Make A Great Drag Queen, Hypothetically:

- Already very used to wearing "women's" clothes

- Already experienced with makeup

- No need for fake breasts

- I hardly have any eyebrows to cover

- "Women's" clothes/dresses fit my body shape very well

- I'm already familiar with "women's" clothes sizings

- Short hair so I can easily wear a wig

- Pierced ears so I could wear earrings

- Very experienced in heels

- Naturally long and thick eyelashes

- Queer

When I was like eight years old I overheard my mother and aunt talking about how apparently if you don't learn to wiggle your ears as a kid, you'll never be able to, and that they wished they could wiggle their ears

And little 8-year-old me went "oh man, I better learn to wiggle my ears now so I don't regret it later!"

Anyway I can now and I have never once gone "boy, good thing I can wiggle my ears"

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Logan Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Patton, face pink, because he’ll never get used to this: No…

Logan: Roman—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Roman: *still shrieking*

Logan: I’m taking that as a no.

Logan: Have you happened to see my puzzle book?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: No. I’ll tell you if I do.

Logan, unfazed: Great, thank you.

Logan: Remus, I don't suppose you’ve seen my puzzle book?

Remus, showering fully clothed: But you do suppose, or you wouldn't have asked.

Logan: Error. Logan.exe has stopped working.

Logan: Vir— this is my puzzle book! You had it?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Oh… Sorry…

Logan: I respected your privacy for this long, please respect mine.

Virgil, internally: Dude wtf I’m literally showering??

Logan, on phone: I heard you guys are at the emergency room. What happened? Are you okay?

Virgil: Oh, so Patton tried to pet a dingo—

Logan: Oh my god! Is he okay??

Virgil: Yeah he's fine, Roman got mauled by the dingo for trying to get him to stop petting it.

Logan: Oh my god, how did you handle that?

Virgil: Easy. Took Pat to a dog shelter so he can pet puppies safely, told Roman some stories about knights that got hurt while protecting their friends.

Logan: Wow. I'm impressed.

Virgil: How've you and Janus and Remus been?

Logan: *looks at kitchen that is in shambles from the two of them microwaving a microwave (for science) as Remus frantically tries to clean it up before Janus sees*

Logan: ...Equally good, I'd say.

Virgil, laughing: What, have one of you been mauled too?

Logan: Not yet.

Virgil: Wait, what?

Logan, hearing Janus's footsteps: Gotta go bye!

Virgil: LOGAN WHAT—

You know how the Spider-Characters's Spidey Sense go off in Into The Spiderverse when they meet? That's literally just queer people meeting irl

Supposed To Be A Family (Moceit)

Description:

The six sides were supposed to be a family. They were supposed to disregard the labels 'light' and 'dark' and be one group of people.

For a while, they were. Then a fallout happened between two sides, and they were divided.

Can they move past it? Can they become a family again? Can they finally reunite their 'Mama' and 'Dad,' who raised the rest of them?

(My first tss fic go easy on me! It's really short)

Wattpad

Supposed To Be A Family (Sanders Sides)

The six sides were supposed to be a family. They were supposed to disregard the labels 'light' and 'dark' and be one gr...

Roman, bursting into Logan's room in the middle of the night, sword raised: WHO IS ROBERTO AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM AND WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH PADRE?!

Logan, sleepily: He's the frog that lives in your head. G'night.

Roman, lowering sword: Oh, okay.

Roman:

Roman: waIT HE'S THE WHAT—

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

I should add, these are all human AUs, so they are all human and completely mortal in these

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Patton, poking his head into the dark side lounge: Hey, it's time for d—

Remus: *knees pulled into his chest, having a crisis, mumbling about reindeer*

Logan: *beating Janus over the head and shoulders with a pillow, yelling at him*

Janus: *trying to duck Logan and laughing, saying something about not regretting anything*

Virgil: *sitting in an armchair, on his phone*

Virgil, looking up: Hey, Padre. Dinner?

Patton: *nods*

Patton: Is this... Are they okay?

Virgil: Oh, this is just a Wednesday. 's why I'm always with you and Roman.

Patton: Please... Feel free to come to our side anytime.

Remus, proud of knowing something: Logan. I have a fact.

Logan, not looking up from his book: Proceed.

Remus: Male reindeers lose their antlers in the winter, while female reindeers don't. All of Santa's reindeers have antlers, meaning they're all female, but the media says they're men because they don't want a team of strong females depicted.

Logan: Or they aren't cis. Ever think about that?

Remus: Wait wha—

Logan: Maybe they're transgender. Don't be a bigot, Remus.

Remus: I'M NOT—

Remus: Wait—

Remus: Am I being a bigot???

Logan: I don't know, are you? You're assuming their gender aligns with their sex.

Remus: *now having a crisis*

Janus, walking past, unable to help it: So you could say they're... Transgendeer.

Logan, hopping up, beating Janus with a pillow: I'm trying to escape Patton's constant puns, goddamnit!

Thing I Noticed

Virgil: I freaking hated everything about this.

(Patton: Hoo, I was afraid of what you meant by "strong language".)

Virgil: Do not allow him or any of... his friends... to stick around that long ever again.

Thomas: Okay, but what—

Virgil: Ever again! Cool?

Thomas: Cool.

Virgil says this, speaking about Janus. We know that Remus is considered a friend of Janus's, however, he said 'any of his friends.' Plural.

This implies that Janus has another friend, other than Remus. Considering the split dynamic of sides, and how light sides and dark sides so far haven't been friends (though they are warming up to Janus now), it's reasonable to assume that Janus's other friend is a dark side. There are three dark sides we know of, and Virgil obviously isn't speaking about himself (he doesn't consider Janus a friend anyway).

So, with this in mind, there's two possible options:

1. There's another dark side

2. Virgil/Thomas misspoke and I'm reading way too into this