Latest Posts by matt-w-blogging - Page 2

I feel like the longer Bad's hair gets, the more "feral" he gets. Like,

Shaved hair Bad: Says "Do not laugh at me, good sir," to Dream after saying he runs faster without hair

Long hair Bad: Confidently, knowingly, and repeatedly asserts that he is on the top and Skeppy is on the bottom, holding up a shirt with decals of both of them on it (in that order), even after Skeppy points out it's the other way around on his version of the shirt

Reasons why I frequently make my friends and family baked goods/confections:

So they'll never feel desperate enough to betray me for turkish delight

Love I guess

I feel like a lot of people miss the point of Sherlock's charging-port-deduction when they poke fun at it.

Now, I'm not saying he's right or some genius (or that you shouldn't poke fun at the deduction), I'm just saying that the point of this specific observation was misunderstood.

Because yes, we all try to plug our phones in in the dark or without looking and miss the port a few times. But not hard enough to leave scratches in the metal. When I look at my charging port, there are no scratches there, because I use the appropriate amount of force when plugging in my phone, and I think most of you do, too.

However, when you're completely drunk, there isn't really an 'appropriate amount of force.' You will jam your charger into the metal around your phone port hard enough to leave visible scratches.

It wasn't that the phone's user missed the port; it was that they missed the port with enough excessive force to scratch the phone.

(Which, of course, doesn't even necessarily mean 'alcoholic'; it could just be someone with difficulty with fine motor skills, or who misjudges how much force they need for things, or wasn't wearing their glasses and got very frustrated trying to plug in their phone, or any variety of other scenarios)

Quackity: Hola a todos este es mi mejor amigo Bad, le encanta jurar y decir cosas como chingas, enséñale algunas palabrotas en Español—

Quackity también: ¡Ay, dios mío, Dan, lo siento mucho! ¡Olvidé que hiciste contenido familiar y ahora todos estamos jurando! ! ¡Tu imagen! ¡Lo siento mucho!

Verdaderamente la dualidad del hombre

Quackity: Hey everyone this is my bestie Bad he loves to swear and say things like fuck, please teach him some curse words in Spanish—

Also Quackity: Oh my god, Dan, I'm so sorry! I forgot you made family-friendly content and now we're all swearing! Your image! I'm so sorry!

Truly the duality of man

You Can Do Nice Things For "Selfish" Reasons.

Doing something nice for a "selfish" or self-serving reason doesn't cancel out the fact that you did a nice thing. Unless you tell them, nobody knows your motivation behind doing the nice thing.

It makes no difference to them.

Bring home-baked goods to a gathering so people compliment your food and tell you how incredible at baking you are. Donate to charity to impress people. Smile and be kind and polite so people like you. Compliment people in the hopes they'll compliment you back. Help someone pick up their things because it makes you feel like the main character. Let a stressed parent with crying children cut ahead of you in line because you just want the loud kids to be gone as soon as possible.

People don't know why you did it.

People do know what you did.

People know you brought home-baked goods to a gathering. Charity got a donation. People know you were smiling and kind and polite to them. People know they got a compliment. People know someone helped them pick up their things. The parent knows you did a kind thing for them.

Whether you do it selflessly or self-servingly, your action doesn't change, nor does its impact.

Not doing nice things because you "just want something in return so it's selfish" is worse than doing nice things for self-serving reasons.

Putting good vibes out into the world because you want to pretend you're a dashing and chivalrous young lad whose wealthy family tragically passed leaving you to inherit the mysterious family mansion and all the men admire you and all the ladies talk about what an honest, good young man you are and all the nonbinaries get gender envy from you and the unlabeled and agender folks just think you're really cool and everyone attracted to men fancies you is good and harmless and fun.

You can other peoples' days and your own day better simultaneously. So do it.

*turns off shower*

*does a forward fold*

*each individual vertebrae in my spine cracks*

*straightens up*

Well, anyway—

Influencer drama I'm not interested in: Idk like fighting or whatever, I don't pay enough attention to have good examples

Influencer drama I'm absolutely interested in: The animosity between Quackity and Rat

So far every side name has two syllables.

Ro/man.

Ja/nus. (or Jan/us, depends on how you say it)

Re/mus.

Pat/ton.

Lo/gan.

Vir/gil.

Even Thom/as and Ni/co have two syllables.

Heck, even E/mile and Re/my have two syllables.

What if the next side doesn't? What if it's like, Craig or something?

Even Apollo (a common orange-side name theory, after Logan's comment about wishing Apollo had more of an influence in WTIT) would mess with the pattern, being A/pol/lo

The beetlejuice musical is essentially a young couple dreading having a baby but feeling like they have to and making up a ton of excuses as to why they can't yet, and then essentially adopting an older child at the end and being perfectly content with that

I started getting a ton of notifications from Tumblr and was like 'haha this must be a glitch' and then I clicked on one and. Neil Gaiman reblogged this. That's why I was getting so many notifications.

I don't know how he found this but sir you have made my day and I appreciate you and your storytelling very much

Broke: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale aren't in love

Woke: Good Omens is a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale are in love

Bespoke: Whether Good Omens is a gay love story or not is debatable; it is, however, undeniably a story of the love between Crowley and Aziraphale (whatever type of love that may be)

Neil Gaiman: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because while Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, they are not human males, they are an angel and a demon

Broke: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale aren't in love

Woke: Good Omens is a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale are in love

Bespoke: Whether Good Omens is a gay love story or not is debatable; it is, however, undeniably a story of the love between Crowley and Aziraphale (whatever type of love that may be)

Neil Gaiman: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because while Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, they are not human males, they are an angel and a demon

Convinced the people who voted against Foolish have never seen him before. I cannot believe he lost so soon

Roman, sagely: Treat bugs as you wish to be treated.

Patton: Killed without hesitation.

Roman: NO— Do you need to talk?

Patton, voice breaking: Yeah that'd be nice

Okay, yeah, cool, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" and all that, but dude. Ani. My guy. These guys don't know the Jedi ways. Of course they have no faith in it.

I mean, the most of The Force they've seen is you strangling a guy, which you could do with your hands, or a rope, if you weren't a drama queen. You're the force-user, the trained-to-be-Jedi on the ship. If you want them to have faith in you, you gotta explain The Force and the Jedi ways, and their power, because they have no way to educate themselves on it.

How about instead of killing people, you make a powerpoint and sit them down and tell them why they should have faith.

"Femboy" is a wonderful term. But I was thinking, what happens when you get older, and you're too old to be a 'boy' but too young to be an "Old Queen"? Are you just a "feminine-presenting adult male"?

So, allow me to propose a new term:

Fem&Men.

Virgil: (glances at Logan's computer that he left on)

A random google document:

Me: (stays in the bath for .7 seconds too long)

My fingertips: This is It, boys. We shall Revert Back to The Ways of underwater. We shall never see The Surface again.

Virgil: ...

Virgil: Hey Lo have you ever heard of Tumblr—

Q: What do you have to say about the queerbaiting accusations?

A: What do you mean?

Q: People are accusing you of pretending to be queer for your own personal gain.

A: I've never said I was queer.

Q: Well, no, but you flirt with your (same-gender) friends and joke about being in a relationship with them.

A: Those are just jokes; all my friends make those jokes, with all our friends, regardless of gender. Nobody gets mad at me when I make those jokes with my (not-same-gender) friends.

Q: That's different.

A: Why, because being straight is the "default"?

Q: ...

A: What I'm hearing here is that people speculated my sexuality, were wrong, and then got mad at me for it. I never pretended to be queer or said I was, I'm just comfortable joking around with my friends.

"Who are you" "I'm you but I can say fuck" meme but with Ghostbur and Revivebur

Concept: An au where L'manburg is not blown up, but Wilbur is locked in prison when it becomes Manburg, and has no idea that his friends won it back because everyone thinks he's dead (Schlatt locked him up in secret & promptly died). He's not, he's just wasting away in a cell. When they finally find him, this is the song he's singing, to himself:

I heard there was a special place

Where men could go and emancipate

The brutality

And tyranny

Of their rulers

Well, this place isn't real

You need to fret

I don't even know who’s still in-it

They kicked me out and stole it, my L’manburg

My L’manburg

It's not my L’manburg

It's their L’manburg

They stole my L’manburg

I just got reminded of this post and while the sentiment is still completely true, I don't identify as a trans boy anymore skdhksdh

I have since decided that basically I don't like gender (for myself, it's great for people who like it/want one) and don't want to participate in it

Me, years ago: If I want to be a Proper Trans Boy and be Respected By People then I must always be masculine and not wear dresses, or skirts, or makeup, or paint my nails—

The Internet:

So may I introduce to you,

The life-changing concepts of,

Toxic Masculinity

and

Femboys

Me, crying in joy, painting my nails, curling my eyelashes, wearing a dress because it is Too Damn Hot for shorts, self-esteem skyrocketing: Yeah go ahead

What do you call a fic that takes place on Dream’s smp server but everything is underwater?

Damp au

Also, c!Wilbur's mother is a fridge and yet it was surprising when he had a fox-child with a salmon. Like. We should have expected it tbh

C!Fundy's grandmother is a fridge and mother is a salmon. That's all that's the post

C!Fundy's grandmother is a fridge and mother is a salmon. That's all that's the post

I find it entertaining that nearly every DSMP character is drawn as their minecraft skin instead of their actual looks (Phil, Sam, Techno, and Sapnap being a few obvious examples)

except Tubbo.

I have never seen an iteration of c!Tubbo with blond hair.

Like, for reference, this is his skin: (image from here)

And I have never seen a c!Tubbo drawing that doesn't have cc!Tubbo's brown hair. This isn't a bad thing! Just an observation.

(If you have blond c!Tubbo drawings, I would love to see them—)

Janus: Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home

Virgil: What are you banana bread?

Janus: Be very careful with what you say next.

"Women belong in the kitchen" shut up, no they don't. I belong in the kitchen. Now get out of my kitchen so I can cook

"He hasn't told me his name, so I’m just calling him ‘Guy.’ He—”

A green liquid ran off of his arm, landing on the ground with a splat. He quickly kicked it behind him, where it soaked into the ground, and then announced, “I’m human! I'm bones and stuff! I have so many bones. I've got like 300 bones in me like everyone else.”

“He does that,” Quackity finished. “I don't know what he is.”

—(unpublished fic excerpt)

Concept: Slimecicle meets Karl and it goes like

Slime: Hello, Karl Jacobs from Every-when!

Someone else: Don't you mean 'everywhere'?

Slime: I definitely do *wink*

Karl: (having a crisis trying to remember who this guy is and if he told him)

Au where Karl time-travels and then he sees Phil, looking the exact same as ever, and it's like the spiderman meme and

Karl: We time traveled to the same time??

Phil: I didn't time travel??

Karl: You didn't?? How are you here??

Phil: I never left??

Karl: YOU'RE IMMORTAL??

Phil: YOU CAN TIME TRAVEL??