"It's The Time Of Spook~"

Today was an okay day, you know?

Got some snacks from WaWa,

Got fucked over on a job,

Went back to WaWa,

Hung out with some roosters and chickens outside a WaWa,

Got dropped off from "work" three hours early.

And did nothing for those three hours.

Yeah, just a casual day today.

Almost time for that protest...

I’m sure you’ve heard by now they are doing a live action Lilo and Stitch. So lets skip past the middleman and get to all the ways they could potentially screw it up. If Hollywood’s obsession with remakes the last decade has shown, at least 3 of these will probably happen.

1.) they make lilo and her family american. american as possible. living in the northeast or far south so they have identifiable accents. blondes.

2.) they try to make stitch look more like a dog and give him a more quadruped body and more bulldog-like face. bonus points for fangs jutting out of his mouth.

3.) they make stitch more alien, which for hollywood means more like a cloverfield monster or like the mios from godzilla. long bug arms and legs

4.) pleakley and dr.jumba do not appear in the film at all

5.) the unique colorful spaceships from the cartoon are replaced with videogame-esque space helicopters for “realism”. expect lots of blue lights and turbine sounds with lense flairs.

6.) stitch now has superpowers and fires beams or corrosive goop from a part of his body. possibly bum for “comedy”

7.) the other 625 experiments play a large part in the film, and have a giant fight scene with an astronomical budget

8.) any and all mentions of elvis are removed so disney doesnt have to pay royalties.

9.) child protection services (and Cobra Bubbles) are now the villains and not just frustrated people trying to do their jobs

10.) at least one shootout with alien guns vs real human guns

11.) an E.T. reference in the trailer or film. glowing finger. trail of candy. just take a guess.

12.) stitch talks in full sentences. unfitting hot young celebrity doing a bad impersonation necessary. like with the Chipmunks films.

13.) stitch is made smaller and fluffier like a Pomeranian or a gerbil or sugar glider so its easier to make toys of him

14.) movie takes place in big crowded city instead of countryside or coast so stitch can cause as much damage to cars, buildings, and other dogs as possible and get the most out of their cgi budget. gotta have lots of shrapnel flying around.

15.) movie isnt about stitch learning not to be an asshole. its about nani and lilo learning to live with the fact their pet is an asshole. stitch stays the same.

16.) at least 5-6 jokes of stitch doing “dog” things wrong. like he pees on a fire hydrant and it melts or explodes into flames. or he plays fetch and drags back a hobo’s leg. snare drum. canned laughter.

17.) one reference to ALIEN where a smaller mouth comes out of stitch’s mouth

18.) cgi on stitch is jurassic world tier and he looks like crap in every scene. everyone hopes its unfinished cgi. then the movie is released and the truth dawns on us.

19.) lilo is an outcast for trivial reasons and not because she’s actually got interests normally considered bizarre amongst children. she will be as bland as possible. for relatability.

20.) Stitch now wears a space-suit at all times. It produces gadgets that help him do things. Nobody finds it weird for him to wear. Bonus points if his suit talks as well in a famous comedian’s voice.

21.) Angel, from the animated series, added to films plot to give Stitch a love interest. if not Angel, a new girl monster will be invented.

22.) stitch is now a species and not a science experiment and theres almost none of him left so we can shoehorn in a badly written message about conservation or poaching into the film’s story

23.) stitch now eats something SILLY!!!!! to make kids laugh. like other dogs poop or car tires or something. remember the hong kong phooey and chipmunks trailers? yeah.

24.) rather than have stitch be destructive and dangerous, because we want kids to look up to him because hollywood are stupid,  instead he is valuable for some reason but has the ability to be invisible to hide from things

25.) sideplot about FBI trying to track down and capture stitch like men in black but devoid of humor. so like Men in Black 2 basically. (men in black 3 was great)

26.) popular american pop star (gaga, del ray, good charlotte, kendrick lamar) does a cover of a famous hawaiian song for the movie’s theme and trailer. it will be forgotten a week after the film premier.

27.) lilo is played by like a 12-16 year old girl instead of a very wee child. her problems will be angsty teenage problems. she will be a snobby jerk to her sister the whole film.

28.) lilo and nani will be portrayed as being fairly middle-class and not basically living in poverty with broken inherited crap from their deceased parents.

29.) lilo and nani’s parents are still alive but are simply absent for some reason. alternatively, nani is now written to be lilo’s mother instead.

30.) stitch is now grey instead of blue for realism. animals dont have colors in real life, and they sure as hell wont when they are a cgi monster either.

31.) any and all references or allusions to hawaiian culture and life is removed from the film so that chinese audiences will be more likely to see it and not be turned off by seeing people that arent them, thus potentially killing off most of the film’s potential profits

32.) no actual elvis songs in the film. instead terrible covers by modern day dubstep / r+b / country artists are included instead. bonus points if lilo or stitch sing off key in one of the songs

33.) movie is barely about lilo and stitch. it is about lilo’s new love interest, some new character nobody gives 2 craps about. it worked for Ghost Rider / Green Lantern, right?

34.) lilos obsession with photographing people on the island is changed to her photographing animals which is how she finds stitch in the first place

35.) alien council want stitch back. not because he’s a criminal or dangerous but because he stole [insert macguffin] and gosh they need it back right away!!! bonus points if this leads to a chase scene on surf boards.

36.) alien council dont decide to forgive stitch and leave him on earth. they try to take him back by force and have to be defeated/blown up by either stitch/lilo/the army

37.) Ohana and what it means is never mentioned in the entire duration of the film.

38.) Stitch now makes generic monster sounds you hear in every movie. are you tired of hearing elephant honks slowed down by 600% yet? TOO BAD.

39.) Stitch is played by an actual dog and they superimpose cgi quills and an extra pair of legs onto it. when he talks his mouth will be CGI and look kinda crap. like those AIR BUD movies.

40.) they make stitch more humanoid and the movie is now a romance between him and lilo. everyone will feel really uncomfortable.

Hm. Two sets of the same three ads.

From Version.

Welp, it's official.

Tumblr is really selling out hard.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

If you don’t think I love bowser with every fiber of my being then you are mistaken

･◦∴*+◦º.+*.•。

ONE. MORE. GODDAMN. DAY.

I'm highkey not ready.

Why did you do this to yourself Tumblr...?

Oh, riiiight. Money.