Okay But How Funny Would A ITSV Au Where Hobie Was The One Pulled Into Miles Dimension Instead Of Gwen

Bruce: Dick, what’s this I’m hearing about you trying to send Tim to Arkham?

Dick: For the last time, I NEVER said that!

Tim: As good as!

Bruce: *disappointed dad voice* Really chum, I can’t believe you would tell your brother such a thing.

Dick: I didn’t! I just suggested therapy!

Tim: *scoffs* Yeah, in METROPOLIS.

Bruce: *Gasps*

Jason: *Gasps*

Damian: *Betrayed*

Alfred: *Too proper to gasp so loudly, but almost fumbles his antique feather duster*

Dick: Oh come on, it’s not that bad! It’s close, it’s relatively safe, and their PHDs are less likely to go rogue.

Jason: *Cover’s Damian’s ears as he backs them both out of the room, still loudly gasping in offense like the theater kid he is at heart*

Bruce: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Sketches!

Turns out, Damian can be very clingy

Yk when a cat is all affectionate one sec, and when u try to pet it again like it literally hisses and acts like it hates you? Yeah, feel like he would act like that with Tim

Yk when a cat doesn’t want you to go?

Yk when cats climb everywhere?

Yeah…

out of character but i think he should be allowed to do this

out of frame is anya preparing a salt and lime solution for his wounds and swansea mysteriously losing his OTHER hammer

Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

I love the thought of ‘The JLA doesn’t know Batman has kids’ overlapping with ‘Bruce is a single father of multiple children.’

Like, the JLA is about to send out a search party because Batman is five minutes late to a meeting when he shows up with a police report, satellite pictures, and a coloring book.

Green Arrow: …Is that a coloring book? What’s that for?

Batman:

Batman: Coloring.

They’re aiding in the cleanup after a battle in Metropolis. Superman is being interviewed when Lois’ pen stops working. Supes asks, “Batman, do you have something to write with?”

In Bruce’s utility belt, he has a confiscated yo-yo, three broken colored pencil recently removed from the flesh of two different kids, and a Wayne Enterprises pen that Tim scribbled an ‘-ED’ after so it says WEED. Bruce gives Lois the pen and then disappears.

One day, Batman is working on something at the Watchtower. Barry is reaching to pour his second cup of coffee for the day when Bats says without looking up, “Don’t you dare.”

Barry did not dare. He pulled his hand back.

Unbeknownst to Barry, Bruce was on coms listening to his children argue about the physics of a crime scene and Dick had just suggested they test a theory by throwing one of them off the roof handcuffed.

looking respectfully

Deadman is basically a ghost that no one can see unless he's possessing someone's body. Except Damian. Damian can see Deadman even when he's in ghostmode. Which is a delightfully wild character trait to drop in. Can he see other ghosts and supernatural shit? Does he have any other weird death traits or powers?

From Knight Terrors #3

One of these days the yearning is gonna get them both killed

🦇 vampire damian doodle dump 🦇