Sketches!

Bruce: “Alfred, where’s Damian?”

Alfred: “There was a thunderstorm last night, Master Bruce. I believe he went to comfort the pets.”

He finds Damian asleep in the barn, using the batcow as a pillow, and decides to cancel today’s mission.

one of the chibiverse's favorite throuples

Read a fanfic where Tim Drake thinks Bruce ignored his birthday, then on some random day was like, "Happy Birthday, Tim!" And Tim was like, "It's not my birthday...?" And Bruce was like, "Uh, according to your birth certificate it is, though?"

And the birth certificate shows a date with a different month and day than Tim thought was his birthday, and he realized his parents just FORGOT when his birthday was and essentially picked either a random day or a day more convenient for their schedules or a day they could remember better-

Tim, this whole time, had a completely different birthday than what he'd been celebrating his whole life, and he is so MAD. Like no shit his life doesn't make any goddamm sense he's been a fucking Pisces this whole time

Supportive space-uncle

Expanding on the below concepts from a dream I had last September

Ig I’m headed towards a haunted/manifestation of guilt idea hmm

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

Tim, slightly drunk: I told you all that I lost my spleen, but I actually know exactly where it is, because Ra’s keeps it in a jar on his bedside table.

Jason, also drunk: THATS WHAT THAT IS?!?!

Tim: you’ve seen it? HOW HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!

Jason: I had to take Damian to visit Talia at the league!

Tim: AND YOU ENDED UP IN RA’S BEDROOM?

Jason: every time I go there I put an assortment of miscellaneous vegetables in his bedding to convince him he’s going insane.

Tim:

Tim: that’s actually kinda cool.

Jason: it’s the only thing that makes escourting the kid back and forth worth it.

Damian, twelve, Tim and Jason’s designated driver of the evening: I swear mother has assigned you to me like some sort of service dog, Todd.

Jason, nodding: or personal uber.

Tim: come to think of it I have seen you lay your head on him whenever you think he’s anxious-

Jason: HE SAYS IT HELPS-!

Damian: -fucking stay out of it, Drake!

Tim: aight damn

Keeping up with the Waynes

(Mission Report)

Bruce: So, let me get this straight. Lex Luthor was in Gotham.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And confronted him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found out that he was doing experiments with Kryptonite serum on puppies?

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: So you got mad. And then?

Damian: And then I shot him in the ass five times as he ran from my sword like a coward.

Bruce: Where did you get a gun?

Jason: To be fair, that was a completely valid response to a report of tortured puppies.

Bruce: Oh.

u may think this is a joke (which it is) but also jon has managed to literally forgive damian for everything hes done in every single universe hes been in and no one else

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)