Some Jasons And Damians Thats Been Piling Up :]

tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon

Shermie Pines, seeing Stanford for the first time: I can't believe it! Stanley Pines, back from the dead!

Stanford: oh, right. Yes. Tis I. Stanley Pines.

Stanley, rolling his eyes: okay, so admittedly I took my brother's identity. I'm Stanley, that's Stanford

Dipper and Mabel's mom, gasping: why on Earth would you lie about something like that?!

Stanley: to be so real with you, I was really drunk when I was put in charge of making that gravestone. In my defense, Stanford and Stanley are two very similar names

Dipper and Mabel's dad: I'm having a hard time processing this. Where have you been hiding all this time? And why?

Stanley: uh, he was in witness protection! He was hiding from his, uhm, crazy ex!

Shermie: that's awful! Your ex was so bad that you needed to go into witness protection?

Stanford: Bill didn't take the divorce well.

House would have figured out what’s wrong with Will Graham after nearly killing him and would have been like oh yeah also your therapist has been feeding you poison chicken soup that’s why you’re getting worse, probably should check his freezer too the guys not subtle with the cannibalism. But it’s easy to miss all this when you’re getting bent over the therapy chair instead of sitting in it.

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

Damian is an artist.

Damian being an artist is so dear to me in many ways, he can use this creative outlet to show how he views things, people, himself in such a deeply vulnerable way without having to say it.

Give me a Damian who paints his family portraits for their birthdays or just for himself, give me Wayne brothers each painted in Damian's style but distinctly different from each other. Different elements are highlighted for each person.

Give me Dick painted in chunky, light strokes reminiscent to van Gogh.

Give me Bruce painted in colors just off from being black and white.

Give me Jason so desaturated or monotoned that when Damian uses color for his eyes they almost glow green against everything.

Give me Cass unshaded and abstract.

Give me Duke painted in the brightest of bright colors against the darkest of shadows, bonus points if glow-in-the-dark paints were used.

But Tim? Tim has always been terribly difficult to draw, Damian just can't get his face right.

He won't let Tim best him in this way, it's unacceptable, but Damian will not let anyone see his artwork not at it's best. He does everything he can just not to draw Tim's face—his favorite is to spiral Tim's face, maybe he'll leave an eye or paint whatever flower he thinks best represents his brother that day right in the middle.

And Tim just loves it.

The first time Damian painted Tim and gave him the piece, he was uncertain of how it'd be received though he'd deny this with every breath in his lungs. He was prepared for Tim to hate it, to get angry that he distorted his face in such a way—and he could see the same thoughts on the faces of everyone who saw Damian present it to Tim. Why wouldn't he hate it? It'd be disrespectful to anyone, especially if the artist and the muse had such a disastrous relationship. He couldn't be blamed, but Damian was prepared to blame him regardless.

Tim was silent for what felt like hours when he laid eyes on the portrait Damian had painted of him. He hadn't expected any portrait Damian painted of him, if he ever painted one of Tim at all, to make him feel so... seen? Understood? Viewed in a way Tim could have never described?

If Tim cried? That's none of your business.

IT!deku meets Pro Hero!Bakugou for the first time!

scammers to lovers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously

Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.” 

The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers

The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’ 

When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’

Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument

Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that

When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing. 

Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”

NEW PET ALERT NOBODY PANIC

Batman and Robin 2023 18

I have this headcanon that Duke is like… the only person who can shit talk Damian to his face and everyone else is flabbergasted bc like- its damian, but Duke lives with the guy and actually has no chill, so Damian allows it because… Duke’s like… his closest brother because they live together.. like-

Damian: *scowling around at people at a very important social event* Dick: *trying to get him to smile* Duke: *flatly, snaps his fingers twice in Damian’s direction* Fix your face Critter Dick: *ready to hold Damian back if he attacks* Damian: *bats Duke’s hand away, but smooths out his expression and almost looks… normal* ~ Duke and Jason: *having a discussion* Damian: *walks in* D+J: *laugh* Damian: What am I missing? Duke: *without missing a beat* a few inches of height Jason: *agog* Damian: *rolls eyes* ~ Robin: I need to get to the top of that wall Signal: You do? Damn. Thats a shame. *whistles* Damian: *scowling* Duke: Do you have something to ask, short stack? Dick: *ready to intervene on Duke’s behalf* Damian: *through gritted teeth*  Could you help me up the wall, Signal? Please. Duke: *smirks. Yeets him up* Dick: *gagged* Bruce: *used to it, sighs*