I Was Born For Loving You

Alfred, looking at Damian: he looks more like his grandparent everyday

Cass: Ra's?

Alfred: no, miss Cassandra, his other grandparent

Cass: *confused head tilt* uh?

Hours later:

Alfred: *doing chores*

Corrie: *runs in* there you are!

Alfred: *takes extinguisher* is something wrong?

Corrie: no, no, all's fine, we just needed you a second, I found him!!

Everybody runs into the room, Jason steps forward while holding Damian by the armpits, leveling his face with Alfred's

Damian, hopefully: so?

Corrie: right th- no, that's not it...

Steph: if you squint... maybe?

Tim: if you tilt your head kinda... no

Jason:... *sigh* nope, I don't see it

Damian: tt perhaps the suit wasn't such an horrendous idea

Steph: a moustache?

Dick: don't worry, I know you will grow on it

Bruce: what's going on?

Cass: Alfred said Damian was growing to look like grandpa, so we wanted to check... *frowns* but he doesn't look like Alfred

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Damian has a jagged scar across his stomach and when the bats see it for the first time they try to unlock his Tragic Backstory about how he got it and Damian just scowls and refuses to speak whenever they bring it up so they all assume its a really sore spot to do with some kind of childhood trauma at the league, until Red Hood shows up in Crime Alley, starts working with the bats, catches wind of this, and mercilessly informs them that when Damian was 8 he insisted on helping him carry some new LOA weapons down the stairs and he tripped and ate shit with a serrated javelin in his hands.

Damian reveals Jason's identity out of spite.

all i want is for a batman and superman movie to be as gay as deadpool and wolverine

Seeing a cyber truck in person is truly a bonding experience. Someone parked one of those monstrosities in a no parking zone at work and me and my coworkers gathered like this

This thing i've made, with the barbie movie trend...

real

nothing can break the bond between a girl and the anime she watched when she was 12

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

this is pretty much what happened. right.