Worst Case Of Youngest Child Privilege I Have Ever Seen

Bruce coming up to Dick and Tim (Jason isn't at the manor), they just point at Damian. Damian was learning from Alfred and Jason to impress Jon 😉

(Anyone currently running a batfam socmed AU feel free to steal this 💜)

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*ᵕ˚𝅦͙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ྀ♥︎̼ ⬚͒

𓇼˖ * ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❀ ꒰͡ ͜ Ï ͜ ͡꒱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ꣖ ີ ꣓      

ெ˚❀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ໂ‧‧᪲ ໃ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀▂▃░ུ✿⃘໋ׅ

ᣟ݂ ✩͏⚹︎ᣟ݂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ིιྀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ྀᖭ༏ᖫི

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✢ ♡ ્᭄͜͡  ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀♡⃞ ✴ ⠀✿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⍰ ⠀✧

.·:*¨¨*:·.⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀༻༾♡༿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀බㅤ ♬ ᪇ꫭ

𝅘𝅥𝅮⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⃘໋۟ ▩ུ⃨ 𝜗⃨̃۟. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ᮫͙𓐩ꦿࣳੁᩧ

Jayce has an idea of what his perfect man should be like, it’s super specific and extremely vague at the same time

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

What a bunch of weebs RIP to Bruce's Yacht tho it did not make it home

Tip jar

yandere simulator yuri

i don’t support yandere dev

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You thought you ate that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Damian locks himself in his room for the rest of the day. Continuation to this!

bonus:

Batfam Headcanon #2

So. Damian Wayne’s school recital.

First off, Damian does not want to be there. He even performs this whole dramatic speech about how performing the viola in front of a bunch of “intellectually inferior Gotham Prep students” was a waste of his talents.

Bruce, however, is thrilled. He had missed out on these sorts of milestones with Dick, Jason, and Tim for various reasons—crimefighting, estrangement, or simply bad timing. But this? This was his chance to savour the quintessential "proud dad at a school event" experience, and he was not going to squander it. He buys eight tickets—front row for the whole family, obviously. He even tells Tim to “clear your schedule” and makes Jason promise on pain of death to show up.

He doesn’t stop there though. He rents an absurdly expensive high-end video camera (the kind National Geographic use to capture footage of lions on the savannah) to record the performance in its entirety, despite Barbara pointing out that smartphones have perfectly good cameras these days, and was pacing in front of the theatre doors 30 minutes before they even opened, muttering about getting the perfect angle. As the recital begins, the Batfam does their best to blend in with the other parents, though it’s a losing battle. Especially with Jason muttering snarky comments under his breath about the less-than-stellar early performances. “If this is what passes for talent at Gotham Prep, I’m never letting Damian forget he’s related to these people.”

Damian, to his credit, looks completely calm at all this chaos. Professional, even. He’s so composed, standing there with his viola, tuning it like this was just another mission. And then he starts playing. Y’all. He was perfect. Like, annoyingly, infuriatingly perfect. Every note was precise, every movement elegant.

You could see Karen from the PTA side-eyeing Bruce like, “What kind of prodigy factory are you running?”

But here’s the thing: the minute Damian finishes, and the polite applause starts?

The Batfam absolutely loses it.

I’m talking:

Dick and Duke standing up, leading a standing ovation.

Jason yelling “THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER, YOU PEASANTS!”

Cass throwing fake confetti that she’d somehow smuggled in.

Steph shaking her homemade “GO DAMI” sign so hard the glitter was falling off

Tim also standing up to applaud, completely forgetting about the phone on his lap live-streaming the whole thing to Alfred back home, ruining the video completely

Barbara’s reaction being the perfect mix of affection, amusement and calm.

Bruce clapping so loudly it echoed through the whole auditorium.

Damian’s ears? Fire engine red. He storms off stage like, “You’re all the worst. I’m disowning every single one of you.” BUT. Later that night, Tim catches him sneaking the recital signup sheet for next year off the fridge. He totally signed up again. Because deep down, he knows that no matter how irritating they are, the Batfam were always going to be the loudest cheer squad in Gotham

And perhaps, just perhaps, he didn’t mind that as much as he claimed.