one of the chibiverse's favorite throuples
That post-save-the-world clarity is craaaaaazy
Also damn y’all REALLY liked him huh
sasuke's real reason for leaving konoha
Damian: Father is going to curse you out, so I’ll ask. Can we have the scroll?
Ra’s Al Ghul: No.
Damian (raising his voice in a high-pitched, innocent tone): Please!
Ra’s (usual strict voice until he sees his grandson's face): No—why are you looking at me like that?
Damian faked a sniffle, pouring on the sad puppy dog eyes and lip quiver. The usually fearless and intimidating Ra's struggled to maintain his composure, covering his mouth to hide his amusement.
Ra’s: Stop it! Don’t pull that crap on me!
Damian (laying on the sweet kid tone): But grandfather... I love you.
Ra’s (trembling): Fine! You can have the scroll! Just quit the act!
Damian immediately returned to his usual self, sporting a smug smile.
Damian: Thank you! We’ll wait here while you retrieve it.
Ra’s groaned and walked off to fetch the magic scroll in question as Batman approached his son.
Batman: What did you say?
Damian: I used manipulation and reminded him I’m his only grandchild... along with puppy dog eyes.
Batman chuckled, shaking his head with pride at his son’s cleverness.
(Mission Report)
Bruce: So, let me get this straight. Lex Luthor was in Gotham.
Damian: Yes.
Bruce: And you found him.
Damian: Yes.
Bruce: And confronted him.
Damian: Yes.
Bruce: And you found out that he was doing experiments with Kryptonite serum on puppies?
Damian: Yes.
Bruce: So you got mad. And then?
Damian: And then I shot him in the ass five times as he ran from my sword like a coward.
Bruce: Where did you get a gun?
Jason: To be fair, that was a completely valid response to a report of tortured puppies.
Bruce: Oh.
some akechi redraws to attempt to cure artblock🥹
tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon
The younger siblings have passed judgement.
Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it
Bruce: *puts a box on the table*
Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.
Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?
[earlier]
Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*
Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.
Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*
[present]
Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.
Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.
Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.
Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.
Steph: Yeah, that's fair.
Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.
Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.
Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?
[earlier]
Cass: *fighting a gang*
Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.
Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*
Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*
Cass: ?
Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.
[present]
Barbara: Well I am disabled.
Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.
Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.
[earlier]
Wally: Race you to Keystone?
Dick: *revs the engine*
[present]
Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?
[earlier]
Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.
Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?
Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.
Kon: Now that's an idea.
[present]
Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.
Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.
Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.
[earlier]
Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*
[present]
Damian: Tt.
Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...
Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*
[earlier]
Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*
Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*
Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!
[present]
Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.
Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.
Bruce: And finally, Jason.
Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*
failstate