Horny Sleep Paralysis Demon

That post-save-the-world clarity is craaaaaazy

they seem to be very good friends!

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

In my head, Damian is an iPad kid. He’s always playing some type of game on his phone or iPad. Anytime he’s out of the manor for something other than patrol or school he’s probably at the arcade trying to beat his high score on various games.

-

Damian, playing block blast on his phone in the Batmobile as robin in the backseat.

Batman, looking back at him through the rearview mirror: Robin… what are you doing?

Robin: Just playing a game father. Don’t worry it’s educational enough for me to play.

Batman: oh.. okay.

Nightwing: Wait.. Isn’t that block blast? The game you swore you would never play?

Robin, dropping his phone and jumping on top of Nightwing.

Nightwing, laughing and trying to fight back

Batman, sighing and continues to drive

-

Damian, in his room playing call of duty on his Xbox

Alfred: Master Damian. Would you like anything to eat or drink perhaps? You’ve been playing that blasted game all day.

Damian, not looking up: Well I assure you it’s all for a good cause.

Alfred: *sighing* very well continue on.

-

Damian, at the arcade playing Galaxian

Duke: Damian? What are you doing here?

Damian: Just trying to beat this incompetent high score of a kid named “Chris”.

Duke: You are such an iPad kid *chuckles*

Damian: What was that Thomas?

Duke: Nothing never mind. Have fun trying to beat his high score.

Damian: Oh don’t worry I will. And once I do I will be victorious.

-

Damian, playing brawl stars

Jason: Hey demon brat, what are ya doin’?

Damian: ah Todd. I was just playing a game. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.

Jason, muttering under his breath: Whatever

-

Damian: Father I need your credit card. I need more V-bucks for this game.

Bruce: oh what game is it?

Damian: Fortnite, now please I need the battle pass so these unskillful lunatics can stop calling me a “noob”.

Bruce: uh okay? *takes out his credit card*

Damian, snatching it from B and running to his room: Thank you Father.

Bruce: mutters under his breath and walks back into the kitchen

Bruce picks up the habit of casual shows of affection from Dick. It starts with little things, just a pat on the shoulder or ruffling Dick’s hair. With Jason, he pulls his son into half hugs. With Tim, he’ll drop a kiss on the top of his head. Damian, kisses to the cheek or forehead.

He doesn’t really think about it most of the time. His body simply moves, and his kids peek up at him with a smile, embarrassed blush, shock, or scowl. And Bruce just smiles warmly at them because he loves his kids. He can’t say it out loud, the words getting trapped on the tip of his tongue, but he can certainly show it through his actions.

Bruce’s casual affection isn’t a problem. At least, it doesn’t start as one. It’s not until it starts to extend outside of his family.

Kon look at him with utter confusion and shock when Batman ruffles his hair and offers him a ‘good job, kid’. Jon leans into Bruce when he presses a kiss to the top of his head, giggling as it tickles slightly. Wally and Roy get half hugs and a pat on the shoulder, and they exchange looks of confusion. No one says anything about it because as strange as it is, they’re not particularly bothered. If anything, they might even like it.

And then it gets worse.

Batman kisses Superman’s cheek and smiles so openly, so warmly. “You’re amazing.”

Clark doesn’t move a muscle. His eyes are wide, staring at the man he’s so undeniably in love with despite the fact that he’s never been able to say it out loud. He’s almost tempted to pinch himself, check if he’s dreaming or hallucinating. Because Bruce is being so sweet.

He doesn’t get a chance to comment on it because Robin stomps his way forward and grabs Batman’s hand, tugging him away. Bruce goes easily, leaning down to kiss Damian as well, and the boy most certainly doesn’t preen under the attention and easy affection of his father. What he does do is look over his shoulder and glare at Clark, as if to say ‘he’s mine.’

Peter is banned from playing Scrabble with Bruce because he keeps using obscure science terms and winning. Tony refuses to play Monopoly with him after Peter “bankrupted” him in under 30 minutes. However, Peter and Natasha make an unbeatable team at Pictionary.

Batfam incorrect quotes while I wait for my Sims 4 update to download :D

—

Jason: Go to hell.

Tim:

Tim: Batman, Red Hood is being homophobic.

Jason: WHAT!? YOU'RE NOT EVEN GAY!

Tim: I'm bi.

Jason: ??? Since WHEN?

Tim: I have a boyfriend.

Jason:

Jason: Batman, Spoiler turned Robin gay—

Stephanie: WHAT!? I TURNED NO ONE GAY!

Cass: ?

Stephanie: Oh my gods, I turned Tim and Cass gay... I'm gonna turn all of Batman's kids into gays.

Bruce: Please, focus on the mission.

Dick, in Blüdhaven but he likes to feel included: I mean, how do we know Batman isn't turning everyone gay?

Bruce: It is not possible to turn anyone gay.

Steph: Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Batgirl two, Batgirl three, Harvey Dent, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Ghostmaker, Superman, Batwoman—

Bruce: Batwoman was gay before she met me!

Tim: That's the only one you're defending?

Kate: He even turned himself gay.

Damian: As childish as this is, I have to point out that Superboy and I also—

Steph: HE TURNED SUPERBOY AND ROBIN GAY!

Tim: Which Superboy specifically? They're both bi.

Bruce: I DID NOT TURN ANYONE GAY!

Dick: Someday it'll just be the gays... And Bruce.

Jason: Isn't Selina pan?

Steph: The plot thickens.

Tim: Wow, this whole time I should've known I was bi just from being exposed to Bruce.

Dick: It's like radiation!

Duke: Nah, am I next? I don't wanna date dudes, I'm definitely into girls.

Tim: I thought the same thing!

Steph: Till Bruce came along...

Bruce, shouting as Jim walks onto the roof: I did not turn anyone gay!

Jim: Am I... Interrupting something..?

Bruce: . . . No.

—

Batman: I have decided I will reveal my identity to one person

Justice League: !!!!

Batman: *walks over to Green Arrow*

Green Arrow: Wait wha-

*Hot steamy make-out session right in front of the League. Jaws are dropped, Superman’s eyes are red, there’s tongue*

Green Arrow: … huh

Batman: *raises an eyebrow* Do you understand?

Green Arrow: *now completely aware that Batman is Bruce Wayne due to how many make-outs the two of them have had over the years* Surprisingly yes

Justice League: ?!?!?!

Batman: That’s all *sweeps out of the room with a dramatic flare of his cape*

House would have figured out what’s wrong with Will Graham after nearly killing him and would have been like oh yeah also your therapist has been feeding you poison chicken soup that’s why you’re getting worse, probably should check his freezer too the guys not subtle with the cannibalism. But it’s easy to miss all this when you’re getting bent over the therapy chair instead of sitting in it.

That one scene that I’ve been repeating to myself since I left the theater