Dumb Thing That Would Not Leave My Brain

this is pretty much what happened. right.

Oracle (dazed): Okay, like, you just take a turn left and... ummmmm... got it?

Red Hood (on comms): That was a completed sentence.

Oracle (pushing her fingers together to see an image): It wasn't was it? I'm hungry. Let me get up. Oh, I can’t stand!

Oracle cackled while keeping her finger pressed on the communication button, allowing everyone on patrol to hear her.

Spoiler: Oh God, she's been Jokerized! Oracle, hang in there!

Nightwing: Oracle, did you buy those brownies after I told you it’d be a bad idea?

Oracle (balancing a pen on her finger): Yeppers, and I ate both bars! And I feel gooood! YEAH!

Red Hood (figuring out what was in the brownies): Oh my God, you ate two! You’re not coming down from that high for a while.

Oracle: Then I will ride the wave! Weeee!

Oracle spun in her wheelchair while cackling. Harper looked up from her tablet, laughing softly as she prepared to take over the controls since Barbara was definitely sitting this one out.

Nightwing: I told you those brownies weren’t worth it!

Oracle: You’re not my man; you can’t tell me what to do!

Robin (Damian): I’m confused about what brownies she ate that are making her this stupid.

Batman: Can someone take her off the computer?!

Oracle: You’re not my supervisor, you unsalted oatmeal, glutton for punishment, Star Wars prequel enjoying ninny!

The others went silent as Oracle giggled while resting her head on the desk.

Batman (clenching his teeth): Take her off the comms or I'm about to say a whole lot of mean things.

Harper: All right, just going to take over for ya, pal. Just eat the Cheetos I brought.

Oracle: Awesome!

Oracle rolled over to a small table she had set up while Harper took over.

Harper: She should be fine in a few hours and probably regret a lot of what she’s done. I think the brownies she bought were filled with a lot more than cannabis. This is Gotham, so I don't doubt it.

Robin: Oh, she’s intoxicated! Just give her some water and a toy, that’s how we handle Father.

Batman: You do what now?

Protective, jealous, and possessive

Damian: Father is going to curse you out, so I’ll ask. Can we have the scroll?

Ra’s Al Ghul: No.

Damian (raising his voice in a high-pitched, innocent tone): Please!

Ra’s (usual strict voice until he sees his grandson's face): No—why are you looking at me like that?

Damian faked a sniffle, pouring on the sad puppy dog eyes and lip quiver. The usually fearless and intimidating Ra's struggled to maintain his composure, covering his mouth to hide his amusement.

Ra’s: Stop it! Don’t pull that crap on me!

Damian (laying on the sweet kid tone): But grandfather... I love you.

Ra’s (trembling): Fine! You can have the scroll! Just quit the act!

Damian immediately returned to his usual self, sporting a smug smile.

Damian: Thank you! We’ll wait here while you retrieve it.

Ra’s groaned and walked off to fetch the magic scroll in question as Batman approached his son.

Batman: What did you say?

Damian: I used manipulation and reminded him I’m his only grandchild... along with puppy dog eyes.

Batman chuckled, shaking his head with pride at his son’s cleverness.

I literally never considered the whole Batman being called 'B' and then reporting back to 'A' but now that you've mentioned it, I'm obsessed with the idea. I mean, imagine meeting Batman, seeing him in the field, how hard he fights, only for him to report back to 'A'. Especially if you hear how people who've met A talk about him, like:

Batman: I'll give you each 10k if you don't tell A that I busted my shoulder

Nightwing: Sorry B, you're on your own

Red Hood: Hell no cheapskate, I wouldn't do it for 100k

Superman: I don't want to get on A's bad side :(

there's things that the JL have "heard" about A that only make him even scarier (some of these I compiled from the other post):

uses lethal force even when B won't

never leaves Gotham, like some kind of mafia don

has the ability to punish B and/or remove him from active field service

A's urgent requests take priority, even above the JL. B zetas down to Gotham without asking a single follow up question, he just goes

"You think B is bad about [thing], A is even worse." -- a sentence said jokingly by many a Batkid, over the years

Jayce on sandwitch duty

Here’s more of them because they are the ultimate dynamic duo, literally it’s the ultimate life form and ultimate warrior.

love my test tube children (kon too…might do another him later) also i forgot to give Damian a helmet and elbow pads…but he’ll be fine….probably

Damian passing notes but he like to throw knives so some kids like "hey! pass this to the girl over there!" and he tapes the note to a pen and just fucking throws it so had it impales into the wall next to the girls head.

(the class designates him as "best note passer". he has a whole postage system at his desk with sharpened pencils.)

I think this was funnier when I sketched it at 2am.

why is he so sassy here

Batman: Shaman #4