U Ever Start Smth And Ur Like Haha This Is Such A Cute SKETCH And Then It Turns Into A 10hr Painting.

really enjoyed this scene from fraycheck by surveycorpsjean on ao3

Keeping up with the Waynes

(Mission Report)

Bruce: So, let me get this straight. Lex Luthor was in Gotham.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And confronted him.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: And you found out that he was doing experiments with Kryptonite serum on puppies?

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: So you got mad. And then?

Damian: And then I shot him in the ass five times as he ran from my sword like a coward.

Bruce: Where did you get a gun?

Jason: To be fair, that was a completely valid response to a report of tortured puppies.

Bruce: Oh.

real

nothing can break the bond between a girl and the anime she watched when she was 12

The Wayne boys most days without sleep before they finally crashed (two manage to beat out Batman)

Tim Drake - 12 days

Tim fidgeted with his hands, his gaze fixed on the wall.

Tim: All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel, da da da da—

Suddenly, an alarm blared on his phone startling everyone at the cafe table he was sitting at.

Tim: POP GOES THE WEASEL!

He erupted into cackling laughter, but as he slowly laid his head on the table, the laughter quickly faded away. Cassie, Kon, and Bernard exchanged worried glances.

Cassie: Hey, Tim, how long have you been awake?

Tim (rocking back and forth): 288 hours.

Cassie (stunned): 200 and what?

Kon (shocked): You've been awake for 12 days?!

Bernard (sighing): Again, Tim?

Cassie & Kon: Again?!

Bernard: I've seen this happen with him so many times. At this point, his brain starts to cry.

Cassie: Don’t you mean die?

Tim sobbed for a few moments, his eyes fixed on his phone, before falling completely silent.

Bernard: Nah, I mean crying.

Tim: You've seen me do it before, and I can do it longer. The first record holder lasted 12 days! I can go even longer—like a full month! I can! Batman couldn't even do that!

Tim cackled rocking back and forth.

Tim: Coffee helps especially when you replace it with all other liquids.

Tim grabbed a large cup of coffee, his hands trembling uncontrollably. He took a few big gulps as Cassie looked on in shock, while Konnor blinked and then shrugged, taking a few sips from his tea. Bernard gently rubbed his boyfriend’s back.

Cassie: Dude, why are you even avoiding sleep?

Bernard (explaining for his boyfriend): The double life, regular paperwork and then hero work. Timmy, let's take you home okay?

Tim: Home, no home. I fall sleep. Sleep for the weak... Did you know if you look at the walls long enough, new people appear?

Tim waved, laughing nervously then tensed horrified.

Tim: Their faces are contorting again!

Bernard: Let's take you away from the scary... invisible person and get you home to not rest.

Bernard took Tim's hand and led him outside of the Dunkin' Donuts.

Cassie: I could not handle dating a batkid.

Konnor nodded.

Kon: I dated him for a while. Would not recommend.

----------------------------------------------------

Dick Grayson - 18 days and 15 minutes

Kori and Beast Boy walked into the Titans' living room. Raven was the only one there, deep in her daily meditation.

Kori: Where's Dick at?

Raven: Outside counting blades of grass.

Kori (confused): Counting blades of grass?

Beast Boy (frustrated): Oh Jesus, has he been awake for days again?

Raven nodded, her eyes still closed.

Raven (monotone): He'll crash any second, but he thought being outside in the sun would 'revitalize' him.

Beast Boy: That's not- I'll be back.

Beast Boy went outside where Dick was, indeed, counting blades of grass. BB approached him, tapping his foot. Dick looked up, his eyes wide and one twitching.

Dick: Hey- Hey- Hey buddy. Did you know we have one hundred thousand blades of grass? I- Did you change colors?

BB: What color do you think I am?

Dick squinted his eyes.

Dick: Blue.

BB: All right, we're on that color. How long have you been awake, buddy?

Dick: I stopped sleeping last Wednesday... Then a week passed... Then another, that was 14, now it's Saturday of the second week. And- I hear the world singing.

Dick lay on the ground, counting the same patch of grass as he whispered incoherent nonsense. Beast Boy crossed his arms, sighed, and walked back inside the tower.

BB: 18 days this time.

Beast Boy walked away as Kori covered her mouth in shock.

Raven: He's surpassing the world record holder. Also, his brain might be dying.

Kori (alarmed): Might be?!

Raven: He's a batkid, their brains are made of steel or something.

Kori: I have one trick that usually knocks him out—

Raven: I know it's sex.

Kori (giggling): Yes, but he falls asleep on top of me every time.

Raven sighed, shaking her head while Beast Boy left the house with a water bottle.

Beast Boy: Right, I'm going to give him this sleep juice Alfred sent us. He says it knocks them out in a few seconds.

Raven: Smart choice.

Beast Boy: Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------

Jason Todd - 5 days

Jason: I can't sleep.

Roy: How long have you been awake?

Jason (groggy): About five days. Man, I tried to go to sleep, but my body physically won't let me.

Roy: Well, you have been drinking Red Bulls every other hour. You're too focused on the mission. Just go to sleep.

Jason shook his head, rocking back and forth.

Jason: Can't sleep… Won't sleep… No sleep.

Roy tapped his foot, thinking of a way to get him to sleep, then smiled.

Roy: You know you're becoming just like your dad. That's good; he can go six days without sleep. Maybe you'll—

Jason stood up, went to another room, closed his door, and fell into his bed to sleep.

Roy: Works every time.

----------------------------------------------------

Damian - 1 day

Damian: I don't want to go to sleep! No!

Damian kicked his feet as Bruce dragged him to bed.

Bruce: Nope, you’ve stayed awake for 24 hours. That's it. Go to bed!

Damian: You're so unfair!

Bruce: You're not depriving yourself of valuable sleep—Alfred, shut up!

Alfred, who was reading a book about sleep disorders, smirked and then walked away.

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

The Ena dream bbq brainworms got to me , so I had to make a shadowvanilla au, basically ill work on this in more detail later, but for now have this :3

To tell 2016 me I had the power to draw klance would be the same as the writing of the Ten Commandments

Bonus

One of these days the yearning is gonna get them both killed

All his kids have killer puppy dogs eyes that they use on Bruce in very select situations. It works every time because they’re all use it very sparingly.

Bruce is baffled on how it works on him each time and complains to Alfred about it. But he had to stop because Alfred would give him this stern and disapproving look and he had no idea why.

Alfred gives him that look because he always has flashbacks to baby Bruce using the most saddest and cutest puppy dog eyes on him in order to get his way. Alfred is very much a reap what you sow kind of man.

He still lets Bruce complain sometimes because he himself is still not immune to Bruce’s puppy dog eyes, whether or not the man realizes he’s doing it in the first place.

Every older generation is weak against the puppy dog eyes of someone younger than them. Damian is the most powerful in the family because he’s the youngest.

As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD