Damian: *peaks Head Above Dining Table* Baba

This thing i've made, with the barbie movie trend...

Jason doesn't get to announce his revival dramatically because Talia decides to be petty (she is her father's daughter, alright) and randomly sends Jason's photo with little Damian to Bruce in a random Monday.

Bruce: (minding his business)

Talia, messaging in the middle of the day: Beloved. Look at our beautiful sons.

Talia: (sends a photo of Jason reading little Damian a book while he drools)

Bruce, with his eye twitching: IS THAT JASON?

Bruce: SONS?

Bruce: TALIA?

Talia, turning her phone to Jason: A family photoshoot would ruin him completely. I'm just saying.

Jason, staring at the screen: ...

Jason: Call Ra's. We are doing the sweetest family photoshoot this world had ever seen. I need the old man to get a stroke.

Talia: ...I sense like I made some mistake here.

They ship printed photos of this photoshoot directly to Wayne Manor in the various copies. Jason brings little Damian to his father in a few weeks and announces that he himself will stay only for a short amount of time before returning to "grandpa Ra's." Bruce locks up all doors and forbids anyone from leaving it. .

Travesty: the anime only let Saiki keep his sweater paws for one scene this episode

So much stolen

They stole a bit of his coziness 😭

Bruce, after nose surgery: Anyone makes a single comment, I will fry you.

Dick: *giggles, trying to contain himself*

Jason: *unable and unwilling to resist his urges* So you finally got a nose job.

Tim: Congrats, you're finally a Kardashian.

Damian: What is that? A kind of otter?

Jason: yes.

Stephanie: Many women find a broken nose attractive!

Bruce: I'm not talking to you, Stephanie. *gives her a cold mackerel look*

Stephanie: If this is about the Wonder Woman thing...

Bruce to the rest of his kids, pointedly ignoring Steph: If anyone asks, Bruce Wayne is damnably vain and insecure about his looks.

Cassandra: Your body language suggests you're telling the truth.

Everyone: ...

Bruce: The best lies have a hint of truth.

Cassandra: But...it was none of it a lie. I can read you, remember?

Jason and Dick: *trying to stifle their laughter*

Bruce:...fine, I hated the shape of my nose after it was broken for the seventy-seventh time. Sue me.

Jason: You could stand to tuck your chin in a little.

Dick: You're getting a receding hairline.

Tim: Your crow's feet have crow's feet.

Cassandra: I googled DILF and got you.

The Batkids: ...

Damian: Father, being your biological and genetic son I think I need to start saving for cosmetic surgery.

Bruce: ...

Bruce: I hate all of you.

may contain spoilers for batman ninja vs. yakuza league

pls do not proceed if you don't like spoilers

cue me pointing at the screen every 5 minutes and screeching babiaaaaannnnn

HE SET IT AS HIS LOCK SCREEN OMG

family bonding 💗 then ra's put him in a horse plinko type of cage for the sin of liking california rolls

hiya batman 666 💖

The Ena dream bbq brainworms got to me , so I had to make a shadowvanilla au, basically ill work on this in more detail later, but for now have this :3

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

Bruce once made an offhand comment about how no one wears watches anymore because they all use their phones to tell time

The next day Tim buys a smartwatch

Dick straps the hourglass he got from the dentist onto his wrist

Damian carries a bunch of candlesticks with nails in them and lights one whenever he needs a timer

Jason lugs around two industrial buckets of water to make a water clock

Steph gets an antique pocketwatch but it's carried around by a personal assistant that's coming out of Bruce's budget

Barbara buys a classroom clock and keeps it in her wheelchair pocket

Cass stands in a well-lit area and checks her shadow

Duke unearths a fifty-pound sundial and names it Duke II

Bruce no longer comments on Gen Z

🦅 here

Part 14 master-post

{PureCacao}

Choco Cone🍦

hi pookies!! Last part was so sad for you, I couldn’t look at your sadness and I decided to cook up something lighthearted 🫶🏼

..no particular reason I’m putting this here and right now! 😇 mhm!

All praise mighty choco cone!