Batboys Do Stupid Shit Like Compete To See Who Can Eat The Spiciest Food. It’s What Siblings Do. It’s

Batboys do stupid shit like compete to see who can eat the spiciest food. It’s what siblings do. It’s the law.

Duke finds ramen on Amazon with an honest-to-God warning label on it. “Caution - Do not handle with bare hands.” The boys unanimously decide that this is the ultimate test. They all regret it.

Dick asks Bruce if he wants to join them and the older man wants no parts. There’s no way this ends without vomit, painful gas, heartburn, spice in eyes, or all of the above. Bruce refuses to suffer and simply warns them not to make a mess.

Jason’s the first one down. Duke’s preparing four bowls and when Jason catches a whiff of the sauce, he tears up instantly and taps out. He’s already died once and refuses to do it again so soon.

Damian’s been eating spicy food since he cut his first tooth, but a single taste has him hiccuping. He puts his chopsticks down and runs to the sink, annoyed that he couldn’t win but more focused on willing the food to come back up. Jason rubs his back and offers him some milk to chug. Best case scenario, it helps with the spice. Worst case, you finally puke.

Dick and Tim manage a few mouthfuls each before disaster strikes. Tim starts sweating and his nose starts running. Before taking his fourth bite, he sneezes. Dick laughs while he’s chewing and something goes down the wrong pipe and oh God, it’s in my nose! He hacks and claws at his face, feeling the excruciating burn in his sinuses. He doesn’t realize that he’s got sauce on his hand until he presses his fingers into his sinuses and brushes his eye.

Damian doesn’t mean to laugh as Dick drops to the floor and writhes in agony, but it’s kind of funny. Of course, that’s when his single bite decides to come back up. Jason would find hilarious if the little gremlin hadn’t yakked all over his new shirt. And shoes. And fucking hell, how is there so much, you only took one bite!

Bruce comes into the kitchen and audibly gasps at the carnage as Tim finishes one last bite to solidify his win. The teen grins triumphantly, but the victory is short-lived. Everyone can hear his stomach gurgle unpleasantly and, to Tim’s credit, he simply pulls out a bottle of Pepto Bismol and takes a swig.

“Worth it,” he groans, beating a fist against his chest as uncomfortable heat blooms beneath his sternum. “I’ll wear this heartburn with pride.”

Duke recorded the whole thing. He saves it as “Stupid Shit” on his phone and posts it on Instagram with the hashtag #WeWereUnsupervised.

More Posts from Maylambb and Others

10 months ago
The Younger Siblings Have Passed Judgement.
The Younger Siblings Have Passed Judgement.
The Younger Siblings Have Passed Judgement.
The Younger Siblings Have Passed Judgement.

The younger siblings have passed judgement.

1 month ago
Congrats To Them
Congrats To Them
Congrats To Them

Congrats to them <3

6 months ago
Typical Type Of Siblings

typical type of siblings

template xoxo
5 months ago

Damian Wayne is pretty.

This is something that Dick, Jason, and Tim have learned to accept and begrudgingly deal with the consequences of.

Damian was bound to be attractive, what with having Bruce Wayne as a father and Talia al Ghul as a mother; there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was going to grow up beautifully. And he did.

Long were the days of people cooing over him and telling him, 'Oh my God, you look so much like your father when he was your age.' By the time Damian hit 14 is when he really started to grow into his looks. The older he got, the more obvious it became who he took after.

Damian had inherited a lot from his mother, be it her laugh, her strength, or her flair for the dramatics (though if you were to ask her, she'd say he got it from Bruce). He had also inherited her slight and lean frame along with her height—an even 5'8". His green eyes are a given; however, the long lashes that framed them came from his father, along with his nose and eyebrows. The rest of him was all Talia, which made him look rather soft and delicate, something he was surprisingly never insecure about. He knew his strengths and what he was capable of, and if he happened to look like his mother, then so be it; she's a beautiful woman, and he's honored to have her resemblance.

Now, back to his brothers and how this affects them.

When one is pretty, one gets attention; however, not all of it is good attention. Because Damian has never really taken his looks into consideration, he is completely unaware of the effect he has on people.

This leaves Dick, Jason, and Tim having to deal with the weirdos and creeps trying to get too close to their baby brother.

11 months ago

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

4 months ago

Damian getting pissed off at Bruce shortly after coming to the manor and in a fit of childish anger yells ‘you can’t tell me what to do, YOU AREN’T MY FATHER!’

what he meant was in an emotional sense, because he didn’t know the man for the first decade of his life, but paranoid-Bruce-Wayne immediately starts to wonder if Talia’s fucking with him in some way. Damian, still pissed off and wanting to make Bruce suffer in any way he can, takes all the information he has at his disposal regarding his mother and father and decides in a brilliant moment of childish stupidity to do this:

Damian: no, you are not my father. but being as my biological father trained under you, mother decided you would still be the best option to guide me.

Bruce, eyeing Dick: i TRAINED your father?

Dick, incredulously: I DIDN’T-!?!

Damian: No. Jason Todd however, after he was revived via Lazarus Pit, did.

Bruce:

Dick:

Tim, quietly from the sidelines, popcorn in hand: holy shit…

~later~

Damian, climbing through the window of Jason’s safe house: Ahki! three things. one, i told father, Grayson, and Drake that you are alive-

Jason, sat with a mouthful of pasta: wh-

Damian: -two, i told them your identity as the Red Hood, and three, i told them you are my biological father.

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: why would you-

Damian: i was mad and impulsive.

Jason:

Jason, taking a deep breath: well that tracks if we’re pretending you’re my kid.

Damian: i knew i could count on you.

Jason: to freak those idiots out? always.

5 months ago

Damian is 8 years old when he first comes to live with his father. He’s all harsh glares, standoffish arm folding, and clever barbs aimed at everyone’s vulnerable points. He’s also adorable. Small enough for Bruce to pick up with little to no effort, with big green eyes and baby fat still in his cheeks.

Bruce is overwhelmed with emotions he’s terrible at expressing; shock at the fact that he has a biological child, furious that said child was kept from him for 8 years, devastated that the child was robbed of a normal upbringing and instead raised in a cult of death and devout loyalty to a madman, and overjoyed that this little boy has his nose, his eyebrows, and the same black curls he got from Martha Wayne. He mourns the moments and milestones he’s missed. First steps, first word, potty training, learning to read and write. He doesn’t even know if Damian can ride a bike.

Then, six months into living with Bruce, Damian loses a tooth. A lateral incisor, by the looks of it. Not because of a hit to the face or a Robin-related incident—no, it’s just the natural, logical conclusion to a loose baby tooth Damian hadn’t mentioned having until he bit into an apple at breakfast and pop! Out comes the tooth, stuck to the apple, leaving the boy with a gap just left of center in his smile.

This hasn’t happened since Dick. Jason and Tim had lost all their baby teeth before Bruce took them in, but Dick had been so young. Bruce remembers the angry 9 year old who just wanted revenge marching to the Cave, presenting him with a molar and pouting silently for hours. It had taken a mug of hot chocolate to get him to admit that Mary Grayson always sang him a special song when he lost a baby tooth, to congratulate him for being one step closer to adulthood, but he couldn’t remember all the words and Bruce, my mama’s not here, who do I give my teeth to? What do I do now?

Bruce has no idea what Talia did when Damian lost baby teeth. All he knows is that he’s on his feet and rushing toward the boy and getting his arms around him and—

“Father!” Damian will never admit to the indignant squawk that escapes him when Bruce plucks him from his seat and holds him close. “Are you—“

Bruce settles Damian on his hip with one arm and cards his other hand through the boy’s soft curls. He breathes in the scent of apple shampoo and oatmeal soap while peppering his forehead with kisses.

“I will get you a new pet,” he says softly, resting his cheek atop his son’s head. “A kitten, a puppy, anything you want. Just…let me have this, baby boy.”

Damian instantly stops protesting. He huffs and pouts—which, oh my fucking God, how is he so precious?—as he wraps his arms around his father’s neck.

“That is…acceptable,” he grumbles. Bruce kisses his cheek and smiles into his hair.

That’s how Damian gets Titus.

11 months ago
Damian and Dick in vigilante uniform as they sit on a roof and eat fast food together, with dialogue taken from text messages. Damian happily pets a cat and says "Meow." Dick smiles and says "Meow" as well.
Damian looks at him with disgust and says, "Grown ass man." Dick shouts with outrage, "BITCH???"

Sir you are pushing 30, you don't get to meow

5 months ago
Saiki N Mob

Saiki n mob

5 months ago

Sketches!

Sketches!
Sketches!

Turns out, Damian can be very clingy

Yk when a cat is all affectionate one sec, and when u try to pet it again like it literally hisses and acts like it hates you? Yeah, feel like he would act like that with Tim

Sketches!
Sketches!

Yk when a cat doesn’t want you to go?

Sketches!
Sketches!

Yk when cats climb everywhere?

Sketches!
Sketches!

Yeah…

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