Bruce, Adopting Dick: Aw-w, What A Sweet Little Kid! Surely, He Is So Polite, And—

Peter: Mr. stark can I borrow 2500 dollars?

Tony: Yeah sure but what's it for?

Peter: ...an escape room

Tony: what kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars??

Peter: ...prison

i promised you 🦋

(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

Hehehe 😊😘

punkflower where hobie likes to crochet in his spare time bcs it keeps his hands busy; he does it while he’s daydreaming and it’s great! it’s fun! it’s relaxing!

the problem is that he can’t stop making things related to miles.

he picks up his hook and when he looks down again he’s made a little crochet spider in red and black. he doesn’t even remember reaching for the colours.

he tries again a few days later and by the time he realises he’s daydreaming about miles’s face and miles’s hair and miles’s smile, he’s already nearly done with a loose-knit navy cardigan. he ties it off temporarily and tries it even though he already has a feeling it won’t fit properly, and he’s right.

it’s too short on him.

because he’d subconsciously made it to miles’s measurements that he’d eyeballed.

fuck.

he finishes it anyway, passes it to miles all nonchalant just to get it off his hands and off his mind but the next time they hang out miles is wearing it and hobie has to stand in the corner with his mouth shut before he puts his foot in it, because the cardigan fits perfectly and if he talks he’s absolutely going to embarrass himself. miles is laughing with his head thrown back and hobie desperately wants to kiss him.

but obviously he can’t, so he crochets more instead and it gets even worse. he’s burning through his red and blue yarn like paper; he’s made headphone accessories, keychains, beanies, a whole collection of loose-knit tops bcs he can’t get the image of miles wearing the first one out of his head.

it’s ridiculous and he drives himself up the wall with it, but he gives them to miles anyway and says they’re just practice pieces until gwen and pav ambush him in his flat and yell at him to finally fucking confess or they’ll do it for him, bcs miles is decked out in swag knitwear and they keep getting stopped on the street by strangers asking where he gets his clothes and you know what he says?

he says they’re just his friend’s test pieces. with a sad little smile.

and hobie can’t stand it anymore, because he practically CUSTOM-MADE everything, test pieces his ass. he opens a portal right to miles’s room and his heart squeezes when he sees that miles is in one of the sweaters he made, cream-coloured with a maroon star on the front, a little green knitted sprout tied to his headphones on top of his head.

miles slams his sketchbook shut, blushing like he’s been caught, and hobie walks right up to him and says, “they weren’t practice pieces.”

miles blinks at him, still clearly flustered. “o…kay?”

he soldiers on. “i made them for ya. with you in mind. by accident.” see? he opens his mouth and puts his bloody foot in it IMMEDIATELY. he fumbles to do some damage control but miles is smiling crookedly, pulling his headphones off.

“you handmade me enough things to fill half my closet… by accident.”

“yeah.”

hobie has to force himself to breathe because miles is standing up and then they’re kissing and every damn thought gets wiped clean out of his brain.

“was that by accident too?” miles asks, close enough that hobie can smell the cocoa butter he uses on his skin, something warm tucked beneath his wry smirk and hobie wants to kiss it off his damn mouth, so he does.

(afterwards, they tumble down to dinner grinning like fools. miles’s parents don’t question, and they miss gwen and pav fist-bumping just outside the window.)

mmm WIP

Cork ‘im Daisuke‼️‼️‼️‼️

I think anyone that studies medicine with Damian would lowkey hate his ass.

Not in a mean way, but in a petty why-aren't-you-struggling-like-me type of way. I mean, thanks to Robin and the league Damian is light years ahead of everyone on terms of experience and it would show.

Half the class is puking their guts out the first time they see a patient with an open fracture. Damian has been there, done that, seen that and worse. He's eating m&m's in the back.

They're all practicing making sutures until late. Damian is like "No, I don't need to join you. I could suture with my eyes closed" and then when someone is like "prove it, rich-boy" that mf actually blindfolds his eyes and sutures perfectly using four different techniques.

He also passes everything with flying colors! Because of course, the guy can't just be rich, good looking and famous, he has to be smart too.

And it just gets worse when he starts his actual residency.

Nothing shakes him! Thirty hour shifts? He doesn't even yawn. Extreme stress during a surgery gone awry? Damian is the one telling the other members of the surgical team to stay calm. Violent patient? They don't even get to call security, Damian has the guy pinned already.

And it would be easier to not get jealous of him if he somehow was a souless blood sucking asshole. But Damian is a good person, awkward and standoffish but always willing to help. He's there for whatever people need. He aids nurses, listens to patients, conforts victims. He sits with people for the bad news and when someone dies he gets this sad faraway look that shows he cares.

And it's just so unfair.

Another one of my crack ideas of IronDad is Tony being OBSESSED with the idea of being a father, while Peter only sees him as a mentor

So things like this happen:

Tony: You still need a father for something, right?

Tony: Learn to ride a bike? swim? play baseball!? I don't know how to play baseball but- I can learn to teach you!

Peter: Mr. Stark, is there something you wanted to tell me?...

He acts exactly like a father should, he worries if he's eating right, he tells him to clean his room, teaches him how to behave at parties and takes him to places to go out with friends

He also has fatherly habits, making stupid jokes like "Hey Hunger, I'm a Dad!" shits

You know when you tell your dad that you liked some snack he bought for you and the next day he shows up with 30 packages of that snack?

Tony SOOOOOO do that!

One day the Avengers arrived home and the first thing they saw was Tony with 5 boxes of cherry soda talking to Peter like:

Tony: You said you liked that cherry soda?

Peter: YES, I LIKE IT, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH MR. STARK!

Tony: I thought with your super metabolism this would be nothing?

Peter: THIS IS NOT THE POINT MR. STARK - wait, this is only sold at Starbucks freshly made, how did you buy this in cans!?

Tony: Oh yeah, uh, about that... I bought Starbucks, now it's StarkBucks 👍

Peter:... ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!!!!!!

*Just a few steps away*

Steve: It couldn't be more obvious

All other avengers: Yep

Rhode: And when I asked him to buy me ONE beer he said no...