Maylambb - ★Ash★

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Part 14 master-post

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Jason doesn't get to announce his revival dramatically because Talia decides to be petty (she is her father's daughter, alright) and randomly sends Jason's photo with little Damian to Bruce in a random Monday.

Bruce: (minding his business)

Talia, messaging in the middle of the day: Beloved. Look at our beautiful sons.

Talia: (sends a photo of Jason reading little Damian a book while he drools)

Bruce, with his eye twitching: IS THAT JASON?

Bruce: SONS?

Bruce: TALIA?

Talia, turning her phone to Jason: A family photoshoot would ruin him completely. I'm just saying.

Jason, staring at the screen: ...

Jason: Call Ra's. We are doing the sweetest family photoshoot this world had ever seen. I need the old man to get a stroke.

Talia: ...I sense like I made some mistake here.

They ship printed photos of this photoshoot directly to Wayne Manor in the various copies. Jason brings little Damian to his father in a few weeks and announces that he himself will stay only for a short amount of time before returning to "grandpa Ra's." Bruce locks up all doors and forbids anyone from leaving it. .

tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon

mmm WIP

Hehehe 😊😘

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

Damian being an Anime fan is so funny to me, because he's the one people would expect it from the least.

Bruce is at an event and gets asked about his kids interests, and he is like "Oh, where to start! One of my boys, he loves those Japanese caricatures, you know. He buys these comic books that are backwards... He's always reading them."

And everyone turns to look at Tim.

Tim, resident cool skater boy, with his vintage cameras and old school Vans is like "??"

Then Bruce goes, "And another one of them. Oh, how he likes likes classic literature. Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, you name it."

And everyone turns to Damian.

Damian, who radiates old money and talks like a Victorian child stuck in the 21st century. Yet spends his time kicking his feet to Shoujo Manga and drawing OCs, is like "??"

And somewhere in Crime Alley Jason feels a disturbance in the force

.

"Oh, Damian was such an asshole" "The bats tried to integrate him he's just ungrateful!" "He had no reason to be as rough or rude as he was"

If I was raised as a prince and suddenly got sent away to the most corrupt, dangerous, and disgusting city in bumfuck New Jersey, I would be worse. The fact that he didn't burn that bitch down makes him a better man than I could ever be

If anything, he didn't crash out enough