Latest Posts by mikan-28 - Page 2

Azi *seduction mode on*: I wasn't always religious, but now I am, because you're the answer to all my-

Crowley: You're a literal angel, Aziraphale, what do you mean you weren't religious?

Azi:

Azi *trying again*: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Crowley: Angel, I didn't fall, I just sauntered vaguely-

Azi *slams down 101 pick up lines*: WILL YOU LET ME FLIRT-

Azi *trying to flirt again*: Crowley, is it hot in here or-

Crowley: I suppose, but it's less than 90°F ...

Azi *suppressing gay tears of frustration*: WHY. GOD. WHY.

Crowley: What? Why is it less than 90 degrees?

Azi:

Crowley: ...because you're acute angel.

Imagine you just got a promotion. You are very excited, because you have been waiting for this for years and years. For the new position you are transferred to London and move into a very fancy company apartment in Mayfair.

Only to get there and find mail piling up on the doorstep, all the previous tenant’s weird furniture still there and this thing in the hallway:

Shax *on the phone with Crowley*: "So if the hot water isn't working which button do you have to press? And also: WHY IS THERE A STATUE OF YOU AND AZIRAPHALE DOING IT IN THE BLOODY HALLWAY?

Crowley: "It's art. Evil triumphing over good, actually."

Shax: "Are you kidding me? They are naked."

Crowley: "They are wrestling."

Shax: "Get that thing out of my flat. NOW!"

Crowley: "Nope." *hangs up*

remembering the time I tried to explain what good omens was to my art teacher when I animated crowley for my final project and when I said "the Bible but make it gay fanfic between the serpent of eden and guardian of the apple tree", this man perked up and said he would watch it immediately. it was a chill class where everyone just kind of worked with their headphones on and this guy just sat at his desk watching good omens for the rest of class.

a week later it somehow came up in conversation that he had finished the show. when I asked him what he thought he just went quiet then said "... you didn't warn me and I cried an embarrassing amount."

yeah dude thats normal over here welcome to the cult.

Forever thinking about the fact that Crowley rescued Aziraphale’s books because he knows him so well and he knows how much those books means to him. Aziraphale didn't ask him to do it, he hadn't even remember about the books until after the explosion.

It’s the kind of thing that you do when you love someone, when you respect someone and their interests. It’s personal. It’s intimate. And it’s brave.

Some ideas about characters have become so common in the fandom that I began to doubt myself and what I saw on screen. Am I the one misinterpreting or misremembering? So I watched the entire series again, paying more attention than I normally do, precisely because by then I was unsure of my own thoughts. But none of what pisses me off is actually in the show, it's all added by the fandom.

Crowley is not pathetic, he is not Aziraphale's dog, he is not crying in a corner waiting for Aziraphale to call him. He's fucking smart, brave, full of ideas and imagination. Aziraphale is not a mastermind who purposely makes Crowley suffer, he is not the cold-hearted badass that some want him to be.

Some things I don't like - I hate when someone calls Crowley a slut or a whore - might be a matter of personal preference. I dislike that choice of words, but someone use them in a affectionate (?) way, I guess. But if you enjoy humiliating Crowley or if you believe that Aziraphale is someone who enjoys humiliating Crowley and that he thinks of him as if he were his dog, you can write your own fanfic, but that’s not canon.

Golden Tears - part 2

"And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't"

OUR EXISTENCE

Not the last few years, not the last century or so, their EXISTENCE.

They've been in love since the beginning 🥺

Crowley didn’t spend the whole season trying to keep Aziraphale and himself safe, trying to get through to him, confessing, saying what he thinks, going against a legion of demons, sorting out everything after the fight was over, protecting and protecting more, being a badass, and walking out on Aziraphale out of respect for himself and his beliefs, for you to treat him like Aziraphale’s pathetic dependant dog with zero respect for himself.

Aziraphale didn’t spend the whole season living his fantasy, daydreaming about Crowley, creating a perfect ball for them to dance together, staring at him with full adoration and love and devotion, crying and shaking after the confession, pressing that shaking hand to his lips, basically treating Crowley like his husband already (he likes him as his James Bond goddamnit!), for you to treat him like he’s a heartless badass who would treat Crowley like he’s nothing.

Watch the show!

why i love aziraphale and why i find his character so heartbreaking

So I made a post on why I relate to Crowley and I adore him, obviously. I think a few you misunderstood what I meant there, though (which is understandable, I was a bit incoherent but that is inevitable on this blog). I wasn't saying Aziraphale didn't care about Crowley or was horrible to him, rather the opposite.

What I was saying was maybe Crowley felt unloved against his better judgement, because he knows he is loved by Aziraphale, but maybe everything he has been through has started to chip away at that knowledge. It's happened to me, I'm sure it's happened to a few of you. You are assured that you are loved, you can see them doing things for you, but you feel unloved. Maybe because of the other people who don't love you. Maybe because... you don't love yourself.

But I definitely wasn't putting down Aziraphale, who is a beautiful character. I adore him. I love how every single second, all his emotions are on his face. That's actually how I realised they'd switched bodies--in heaven, 'Aziraphale' had a cool, dismissive look on his face. That could only be Crowley, I knew, because Crowley is a bit better (not a lot, not around Azi of course) at masking his emotions.

That's what's so beautiful about Azi, we can just see how much he feels, how much he adores Crowley, how much hope he had, how much faith in Heaven, how much determination to do the right thing. How determined he is to keep Crowley safe, to make Crowley smile and laugh, and how much it kills him every time he has to push Crowley away for both of their sakes, or he thinks he has to. You both want to protect that optimism and faith, and also shake him and tell him the truth. But how do we know better than him, a 6000 year old angel? There's so much that we don't know, that may have happened behind the scenes, that's orchestrating his decisions.

Some of you are certain that there is more, that he doesn't still believe that what Heaven offers is genuine, because how could he? I'm also sure that there is more, but can I also offer an alternate idea? Even if there wasn't more, maybe he isn't to blame if he did continue to believe in Heaven's goodness.

We've been in toxic relationships. With friends, partners, family. I know how hard it is to accept that something you love is not worthy of that love. Something you admired is something flawed. Something you would do anything to keep is something you need to push away.

The worst of all, of course, is that time, somewhere in our childhood or teens or adulthood, when a lot of us realise our parent or parents are not heroes. That we don't agree with them. That they were wrong about a lot of things. Because they taught us everything, they were our guides, how could they be wrong? And if we can't believe in them, then what are we supposed to believe in?

Maybe Aziraphale is going through that journey, over all those millennia. Some of us are forced to realise it before we even turn ten, some of us haven't realised it yet, some of us may not ever or may not need to.

Maybe Aziraphale is just a child of God, realising that Heaven, his technical family, is not the Good that not only they but the entire world believes them to be. Everyone says Heaven is good, including a lot of Hell, including a lot of humankind, it's just given. What is Heavenly is good. And Aziraphale wants to be good.

But he's going through that painful journey of realising that good may not be what he was taught, that good comes in many shades and tints and hues. And we can see him do it, we can see him defy Heaven and God, for Crowley or for humans or for himself. He's doing it, and we need to see how it isn't easy for him. Having your entire system of belief deconstructed is painful and awful. And if you were wrong once, how do you know you won't be the next time?

It's hard enough for Crowley, torn between whether he was unworthy or whether Heaven was wrong. Imagine the tumult that Aziraphale goes through, because if Heaven accepts him and Heaven isn't always good, does that mean Aziraphale has been doing it all wrong all his life?

He's going through something that we all go through, and is every bit as relatable as Crowley is. I love them both so much. I'm so glad that there's a third season, to see how that arc closes, to see if maybe they find the answers we're all looking for.

@adverbian and @howmanyholesinswisscheese, I hope this helps? Again, I haven't watched season 2 yet and have a horrible memory since I've been watching season 1 heavily medicated, so this is just from what I know and can tell and headcanon, perhaps.

While Crowley's Sassy Face™️ is obviously the star here, I would also like to appreciate Aziraphale's answering Chuckle and Bob™️.

"Happy, Angel?"

"Yes, quite."

Seriously, just fuck already. Please.

good omens mascot here: why i relate to crowley

Okay I know I've only watched the first season and there's a lot I don't know about season two But. I have a lot of feelings about Crowley and I'm trying to figure out why and this is what I've got. I'm sure at least some of you relate to some of these. I'm using he/him for him this post.

One. He's so disillusioned with almost everything (I say almost on purpose). Heaven? He lost faith in heaven when he fell, maybe before he fell, maybe he fell because he lost faith in it. He's so frustrated with Aziraphale's belief in the goodness of heaven, but he still respects that belief and even admires Aziraphale for it, only really showing how upset he is when Aziraphale lets that blind faith guide decisions. Crowley always says things that imply being an angel is a good trait, but that facade breaks when Aziraphale is fucking up, because he doesn't want Aziraphale to get hurt or this world to end. As for hell? He certainly doesn't have faith in hell, and doesn't belong in it. Mankind? Nope, he frequently points out how flawed and cruel humans are. Himself? Crowley doesn't have faith in himself, really, either.

And I relate to that feeling of... losing faith in all the things that are supposed to be Right and Good, like society and family, parents and friends, lovers and yourself, government and laws.

Two. I said almost, and that's because Aziraphale. He has such relentless faith in the fact that they are friends, they are best friends, they are lovers. 6000 years, and he keeps reading beneath the lines, continues to stand by Azi even when Aziraphale reminds him that he is a demon, that they are on opposing sides, that Aziraphale does not like him, that they are not friends, that Aziraphale couldn't care less about him. Crowley knows Aziraphale doesn't mean it, just like we know. And we're so used to seeing romances where one character says something they don't mean and the rift goes on forever and we get frustrated because idiots, he didn't mean it. But Crowley knows Aziraphale doesn't mean it. He doesn't stop saying they are best friends. That they are more. He calls out Aziraphale on his bullshit and points out that Aziraphale does love him. And he does it without pushing, just lines dropped over millennia, a reminder to Aziraphale that Crowley feels the same, that he knows, he understands. It's such a relentless, powerful optimism from a demon who has lost faith in everything else.

And I know how that feels, to believe in a love so strongly that you can take blow after blow to that belief and have it remain unshattered. To give gentle reminders that you see through the lies, and that you are there and you know they didn't want to hurt you.

Three. Another caveat, though. How much can that belief withstand? Yes, Crowley knows that Aziraphale is his lover and best friend. But how many doubts have crept in over those thousands of years? When Aziraphale said he didn't like Crowley, and the demon replied with you do, how much of it was posturing? When Crowley has been cast out from heaven and persecuted by hell, found no friends in humankind, it must have shattered his sense of self-worth. He calls Aziraphale his only friend, his best friend. Imagine your only friend repeatedly insisting you aren't friends. Yes, you know it is because to be friends is to put both of you in danger, that Aziraphale does not mean it and has shown time and again that he loves Crowley and that's why he's lying to protect him, but still. It must hurt. It must chip away at logic and rationality, bit by bit.

And I know how that feels, too, to begin to doubt that you are loved, because that objective knowledge that yes, you are loved gets broken and eroded by so many instances of being hurt, dismissed, ignored, betrayed.

Four. No one seems to be putting Crowley first. Not heaven, certainly, heaven threw him out millennia ago. As for hell, Satan and the demons only tolerate him, willing to kill him as soon as he betrays the slightest hint of goodness. Humans are too fleeting, gone before you can blink, and they have never paid any regard to the individual over the 'greater good', certainly not to a lonely demon who can't get close to them because they die too soon. And Aziraphale chooses heaven, chooses being good over Crowley every single time. Some of the time, he is right. But imagine being Crowley. Given the choice between salvation and Aziraphale, happiness and Aziraphale, anything and Aziraphale, he would choose Aziraphale. And he has to watch, time and again, as Aziraphale chooses other things over him, finally pulling back from the kiss and choosing the heaven he doesn't even like over what Crowley offers him. Crowley, as far as he can see, is no one's first choice, no one's first priority. It may not be true. But it does feel like that.

And that feeling is so real, to know that the people you would die for would not do the same for you. The people you put first wouldn't put you first. That you are giving knowing that you cannot take. It may be real, or it may not be, but the fact is it often looks that way to me and Crowley and a lot of us, and that hurts.

These aren't all, of course, there's the relentless questioning, the needing to be good, the needing to be bad, the horrible urges and battling them, the kinder impulses and figuring out how to fit them into an awful world, the consequences for being good, whether they are worth it, just everything about Crowley. But the four above I wanted to elaborate on.

I'm fucked, I love a fictional character again. Again, I might be wrong about a lot of things, so there's that. Aren't we all.

The War Ahead - Bleeding Heart

So it begins...

(I will never draw another wing ever again > immediately proceeds to plan another feathered piece)

Am i the only one who sees Crowley and just thinks Someone, I want to lick his neck

I mean look at him- LOOK AT HIM

His hands. his hips. his eyes. the tight jeans and shirt? He's silly, he's sweet, he's protective, he's a bad boy with a heart of gold, he's feral. Like how am I supposed to cope.

Aziraphale has so much self control, I would have railed that demon in 4004BC

Bildad ❤️🐍

Have you heard of our lord and savior Bildad the Shuhite? ❤️

I have, but I am yet to worship at his shrine in all his live glory. I await his coming.

Aziraphale seeing Crowley in his Prince of Hell outfit that he looks terrifying, incredibly hot and handsome in:

“Oh no. I guess this is it. We lost. Heaven lost. You must now imprison me and take me to Hell, Crowley. I shall be your 😏loyal servant😏”

“Aziraphale, what the fuck are you doing, he hasn’t even said anything yet!”

“Shut the fuck, Metatron.”

+ bonus:

Aziraphale: Crowley will have a plan! Crowley's plans in question: if I dump them somewhere, maybe they'll go away

i will accept almost anything neil gives us for season 3. but if crowley and aziraphale become human i will genuinely become the zodiac killer

doctor who companions will go "he's the most incredible man i've ever met... he's like fire; bright, brilliant, and burning whatever gets too close." and then the camera turns and it's Some Guy eating sand

Like, I'm feeling it in my veins-

I remember that someone somehwere suggested the 'and Co' in A. Z. Fell and Co was meant to include Crowley

And I just--

"..just like the bookshop is technically my shop, but we both get plenty of use out of it" or whatever the quote was

Obviously he wouldn't be able to slap Crowley's name on the entry of his shop. Heaven and Hell would notice.

He couldn't risk that.

But it has always been theirs, i think.

At the very least, it has always been theirs in Aziraphale's mind.

Hc that Croli is autistic and adhd but tries his best to mask at all times bc reasons

Professionally speaking, *gleams with bewitched eyes* *hushes* whatever goes down your bloodthirsty minds, dear writers

Fandom acting like Aziraphale is the Bad Guy for asking Crowley to become an angel again is something else. I'm not arguing that offering to turn him into an angel again was the right thing to do, but CONTEXT MATTERS!!

Things Crowley has canonically said about his fall:

"I never asked to be a demon. I was just minding my own business one day and then… Oh, lookie here, it’s Lucifer and the guys. Oh, hey, the food hadn’t been that good lately. I didn’t have anything on for the rest of that afternoon. Next thing, I’m doing a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur." (Aziraphale appeared to Crowley right after he said this so it's not outside of the realm of possibility that he found Crowley by following his voice in the first place.)

"I didn't mean to fall. I just hung around the wrong people."

"I didn't really fall. I just, you know, sauntered vaguely downwards." (Crowley says this to Aziraphale in the same scene he asks for holy water.)

Crowley was turned into a demon against his will.

Crowley hates being a demon too. It makes sense that Aziraphale would mistakenly believe that Crowley might accept the idea of becoming an angel again if what we were witnessing was Aziraphale being honest with Crowley in the final fifteen.

Again, I'm not saying he was right to ask that of Crowley, but let's not just decide that Aziraphale is a Bad Person for asking when he's witnessed ways in which Crowley has suffered as a demon.

There is indeed a lesson to be learned here, but why bring a little more context into the situation when it's just easier to villainize Aziraphale, am I right?

Yes, he was wrong to ask Crowley to become an angel again because it's not what Crowley wants. No, he's not a monster for offering. This is seriously all because of their stunning inability to communicate what it is they actually want.

Aziraphale has to break free from whatever hold Heaven still has on him, but he doesn't deserve to be treated like the Bad Guy.

It is entirely possible to criticize Aziraphale's actions without painting him as a monstrous abusive prick.

#mood

Nobody understands my need for Michael and David to act in a fantastic movie together so Hollywood can go insane and I can see them on all award shows and red carpets and interviews and everyyyyything.

Can’t even tell if I want them to play enemies or a couple.

So I went to my therapist the other day, and later in the appointment I mentioned that I like to write self-insert fiction to cope. I also said that I generally hide it and felt embarrassed mentioning it due to the way people treat the concept online.

She said that self-inserting yourself into art and writing is an incredibly healthy way to feel good about yourself, and that she was appalled when I told her about the way it’s mocked on the internet.

So never feel bad about self-inserting or enjoying reader insert fanfiction, 1/1 professionals agree that it’s good for you and that the jerks who say you’re doing something wrong are just uneducated and don’t understand. Never listen to the anons who try to make you feel bad <3 

Have a really nice day!