If Morbius Was Played By Danny Trejo, It Never Would Have Flopped.

'is he stupid' is one of the funniest things to add at the end of a sentence it's right up there with 'many such cases' and 'because of woke'

just a little catgirl in a scary world heem heem whimper

marketing guy: hmmm yeah we need to make vodka soda branded as “gay water.” make sure the packaging looks like diaper packaging.

other marketing guy: maybe we should add funny little stickers, like–

both at the same time: racism is small dick energy!

i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."

why do we sleep on wrestling? it’s boomer riverdale. there’s an undead guy who’s controlled by a little dude with an urn that has his parents’ ashes in them. someone almost gets buried alive in an actual grave (in the ring). there was a plotline in steve austin’s rivalry with WWE owner vince mcmann where there rivalry is interrupted by an entity called the higher being who leads a cult that crucifies wrestlers. they kidnap vince mcmann’s daughter to make her marry an undead wizard. mcmann comes on the big screen and demands the higher being removes his mask- and when he does, it’s VINCE MCMANN. at one point someone drove a truck into the ring and started spraying water

TL;DR: professional wrestling is high camp