”And When He Kisses Me, People In The Room Actually Sigh…”

what is a love story if not falling to your knees and pressing your shaking hands to his wound, as if the desperation of your heart could stem the blood pumping out of his; and what is a love story if not holding out a sticky-sweet handful of death to the greedy cameras; and what is a love story if not your one wish being to send her home, with all the reasons why hanging golden around your neck like a willingly-worn noose; and what is a love story if not hitching yourself to the puppet strings of politicians in a last ditch attempt to save each other across the miles; and what is a love story if not the ever- unspoken mantra “take my life: take it, take it, take it” — and what is a love story if not the burned and blistered realization that offering up your life is not enough, not quite, but that offering your lover’s life back to them might just be? so you plant her primroses in the ash, and you mend his mind with the thread of new memories, and it isn’t pretty, but it is a love story — because what else could it be?

Has anyone done this yet

✨ Teach me how to look at you. I promise I’ll be a fast learner. ✨

as brilliant as it is that this seems to be one of lucy gray's songs that was lost to time, how much do you think snow would have lost his shit if katniss had sung "pure as the driven snow" to peeta in one of the arenas

make no mistake, I am well aware I am projecting onto both Ekko and Jinx like hell, I know...

and yet.

can't stop thinking about them.

like, imagine how he would cope with her loss. it's not that hard, there are some truly amazing fanfiction works that are exploring that topic, I am just offering you my spin, my musings that I keep leaving here instead of sitting down and writing my own fanfic.

how would he cope?

first, of course, comes the shock. just... an exhale, his chest caving in, hands trembling, tears ready to spill onto his cheeks —

and then - slam! — an imaginary metal wall drops down on him, cutting all feelings off, as if they are buzzing behind it, but Ekko can't access them anymore.

he needs to work. do something, solve something, save her someone, at least...

so he works.

there goes denial. there was no body, she may be alive, there was no body, so maybe she didn't suffer long when she died. he is fine, he is fine, he is fine, there is so much to do in Zaun, clearing out the streets, cleaning, burying, mourning, treating the injured, supporting others, overseeing the works, playing with kids, designing, inventing, building — he is freaking fine, there was no body found, so he's fine, he has no time to stop, he'll rest later, later because there's not anyone he can truly share the load with...

of course, they fucking took her from him.

of course, she fucking left. left Vi, left Sevika, damn her, left him.

she fucking left him.

alone.

to fend for himself — and everyone and everything else.

she stayed, she fought alongside him, she tinkered, ate, slept next to him — and still fucking left him!

alone!

again!

— so there comes anger

and makes everything even worse.

[tbc.]

not having children in Panem isn’t even a guarantee that you won’t still watch your kids be reaped, is it, Haymitch?

yep, still me, still hung up on the timebomb tragedy, especially Ekko's part of it.

they are both shattered by what happened in their lives, both incredibly hurt, but, as I see it...

just imagine it went like this:

where Jinx thinks she decides to become Jinx, embody that insane, dangerous, devil-may-care explosive persona - all of it just to try and keep herself from breaking completely; just to try and give back to Silco who she saw as a father, as someone who didn't get scared by her pain, rage and voices (all the while not being a particularly good influence on her), just to not be Powder, the weak one, the outcast one, the clingy one -

to finally own and channel the jinx she came to see herself as -

Jinx got to swim in all the darkness she had within herself, drown in it, and flood the Lanes with it, free, destructive, and openly poisonous.

Jinx. The insane one. The killer one. The Loose Cannon.

- and Ekko never allowed himself to do that. he choked on his pain, swallowed it, allowed it to seep into his very bones. endured. built. provided for his community. resisted, repressed, redirected all the evil he knew in himself.

he couldn't afford to break. no. too much to lose, nothing to lose, no one to really talk to about what is eating him alive.

because how do you talk about missing your childhood friend-turned maniac... and actually missing the maniac that wore the face of Powder? who do you talk to?

how can you explain, even to yourself, that the people around you are not enough and you are longing for a connection long severed?

how can you say to your community that relies on you that you are actually a horrible hypocritical person who hates everything and sometimes everyone? who has to spend hours reminding himself that Powder is gone and Jinx is a monster and needs to be dealt with?

who enjoys fighting her? (it is exhilarating and freeing, and being in her orbit makes it okay for him to be a little insane and cruel, too - no one will notice,

Jinx outshines everyone).

Ekko knows it about himself, and hates it about himself, and has to be strong, to atone for the treacherous thoughts of missing Jinx, and not Powder, and pay for it with even more work.

say nothing, show nothing,

they all rely on you, you cannot let them down.

you cannot let them know how corrupted you are,

Boy Saviour.

experiencing the hunger games renaissance through twitter for the first time is so beautiful

Ppl rlly be complaining about the decision to cast Tom Blyth as Coriolanus Snow, saying that he's "too hot" to dislike him when that's exactly the whole point of the saga — to make you forget about the cruelty of everything and focus only on the "pretty side". And that's literally panem et circenses.

Agh I'm so mad💀

it's so heartwarming to read fics where Ekko is all patient, level-headed, and painfully tender with Jinx.

makes me question whether I have finally turned cold, pessimistic, and heartless when I smile reading them, smile through the tears and think of how much work it would take for them both to allow themselves being soft again.

Jinx, who believes that she is a bad omen, killing and bringing misfortune to everyone she cares about and who cared about her.

and Ekko, the leader, the inspiration, the boy who became a savior before he became himself - always managing, strategizing, settling conflicts, always putting others first... because what good could ever come his way, he is a lost cause, he is damaged, he lost everyone and all that he's good for is to build and care for others so that they would never experience this - or, at least, experience it later.

for him, the world, Zaun, his people might have a chance, but Ekko... he turned himself into a tool and almost lost hope for his life, for dreaming, feeling, being soft, reckless how a teenager and a young adult are, and not as a rebel leader who sticks his hand into every trap for it not to harm his people.

how cautious it must have made him.

friendly and social, and ever cocky and confident on the outside, but closed off on the inside.

how much effort it must have taken him to really coexist with Jinx in the same space, caring for her - and for himself for the first time in years.

trying to believe and accept that this time she'd stay, that they can have good things together...

for all of that to blow up in his face.

all.

over.

again.