Sooooo Sleepy Today… I Hate Emails!!!!

Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980

i really should've listened to my gut feeling but i jump at the opportunity of being loved like a pathetic little dog jumping to reach the treat they will never get cause the person holding it is just trying to make them do dumb little tricks for their own entertainment

a couple thoughts on self-improvement

we need to understand that not giving ourselves enough time to kick a bad habit and establish a new better habit is a form of self-sabotage.

humans always want a quick solution for everything but our nervous systems were not built to adapt so quickly. that's why quitting a bad habit cold-turkey or starting a new good habit in an extreme way rather than easing in slowly usually doesn't work. (not saying it never works, but even if it does it's not the most optimal way to do things).

think about it this way: most addictions don't go from 0 to 100 immediately. since this is something that most of us struggle with, let's take for example phone addiction: you didn't just become addicted to consuming brainrot after watching a couple of reels. it's a learned behavior that develops from repetition and reenforcement.

i was already addicted to social media and the internet long before i had a smart phone. i watched hours of youtube and scrolled endlessly on tumblr. the problem just got worse and worse as I got more exposure to it and my brain became used to the sensation of that particular, easy dopamine reward. of course shortform content taking over and apps becoming more and more predatory in their design made the problem worse.

another thing that we tend to forget is that creating a better habits means making a conscious decision to do so on a regular basis. the fact that this too, is hard on our bodies and minds needs to be taken into consideration. that's why it's important to celebrate little successes. you managed to go a week without instagram? that's great! you managed to delete an app that you've been wanting to delete for a long time? there's more good things waiting if you keep going!

and if we mess up? if we re-install it or binge-scroll after a week of no social media? -we immediately feel like failures. instead of drowning in this feeling of failure, which reinforces us to go back to our addictive behavior, we need to encourage ourselves to keep trying.

and when we keep trying it's important to observe why we went back to the behavior we are trying to stop and what we could try to do better next time, so that we don't try blindly. what we perceive as failures are actually just experiences to learn something new and do better the next time.

the importance of gently and steadily building resilience and making your body and mind get used to trying again cannot be understated when it comes to forming better habits.

Favorite Photos Friday

Misty mountain hike in Mount Rainier National Park

i think i have arrived at a point in my life where i am finally acknowledging that i have to unlearn this type of thinking for the sake of my own sanity.

do not let anybody convince you that the world was built for two. do not ever ever buy into the idea that once you’re married or once you’re in a committed and long term relationship with somebody, that’s all you need to get by in life. do not let anyone convince you that you’re supposed to go at it alone either. do not let anybody make you believe that you’re better off alone. it’s no way to live. the world was built for communities full of love and compassion and the desire to extend oneself for the wellbeing of another. it is in your best interest and humanity’s best interest to learn how to be in communities again. do not let them take away from you what makes life transcendental and special.

relationships, friendships, family members, co-workers, i notice it almost every day

they should really warn you ahead of time about how much of adult life hinges on being able to navigate other Ppls childhoods. Like lot of the time in order to complete a task or even just communicate effectively you need to get a sense of ‘wtf happened to this guy in high school’

I do feel like this whole self improvement culture thing can go too far where people are never happy with who they are and where they are because they’re constantly trying to be better or do better and they’re always waiting for some sort of glow up or achievement or therapy realisation that will make them feel complete but that isn’t real and life is actually in the every day