Asking For Help At Work Feels Like Being Stabbed 400 Times Then Getting Run Over By Three Trucks And

Rainy day in Kyoto

they need to invent somewhere where I belong

Yoshito Machida – Whisper Blue (1981)

people want instant gratification in everything meaningful these days and it's a major reason why a lot of people feel lonely all the time.

it's not just the aftermath of the pandemic it's also the general prevailing mindset these days, fueled by unrealistic expectations that are created when we rot in front of our screens for too long. the system is set up against us but at the same time we have to realize we still have control in not letting it get to us.

it takes a lot of time to build meaningful connections with humans. you're not gonna make any friends if you don't go out there and make experiences and meet people just for the sake of it, without expecting someone to be your bestie after a couple weeks of knowing each other just because you like them. and you're not gonna have a fulfilling longterm relationship by swiping a couple times on an app or trying to get into somebody's pants after meeting them a couple times. going into socializing with a transactional mindset like that is why "nobody knows how to talk to people anymore".

every single meaningful relationship in my life was built with patience, mutual understanding and time. the people who i decided i want to have in my life wanted to genuinely know me, not just collect me like an experience.

what's even more important is that you also have to know how to be by yourself in this world confidently and i'm not talking about "embracing being single" or being a loner/going monk-mode or whatever the fuck people call it these days.

i'm talking about being in touch with the world when you're outside, soaking in the small things, the little interactions, the quips and quirks of your home town and whatnot. just go out and live for yourself for once. how often do we really feel connected to what is happening around us when we're walking down the street to grab a coffee? there's nothing more important than to get to know yourself and know how to have fun by yourself or at least know how to feel at peace when you're by yourself.

what i'm trying to say is, it takes a bit of an effort to be friends with yourself and with other people and that's okay. and this comes from an introvert who used to suffer from extreme social anxiety and was never popular or had a lot of friends in school. the friends i made i'm so grateful for, but i made them over the course of almost 30 years. not in a couple months or days.

as always, nobody has to agree. just felt like putting these thoughts somewhere.

Frederick Arthur Bridgman - Return from the festival, Algiers (detail)

I do feel like this whole self improvement culture thing can go too far where people are never happy with who they are and where they are because they’re constantly trying to be better or do better and they’re always waiting for some sort of glow up or achievement or therapy realisation that will make them feel complete but that isn’t real and life is actually in the every day

if you don't walk in the rain at least once in a while you're not really living

They need to invent a locking in that is permanent