Latest Posts by moonshyness - Page 12
The sexiest thing a woman can do is move on. Whether it’s from their partner, career, family, etc. Society has programmed women into believing there’s a moral reward for enduring and staying. Fuck that. Get a new partner, new career, move to another state/country, please just MOVE ON.
if you don't walk in the rain at least once in a while you're not really living
hearts of darkness (1991) dir. eleanor coppola, george hickenlooper, fax bahr
the overwhelming feeling of sadness sometimes when someone treats me with kindness
insta rotted my brain so bad that scrolling tumblr feels like dancing barefoot through a meadow
Mary Oliver, "Don't Hesitate." Devotions
It’s annoying but the way you improve yourself is one tiny thing at a time
The View down the Long Border early in the Morning - Francis Hamel
British , b. 1963 -
Oil on linen , 46 x 36 cm.
it's 2024 and we still haven't found a way to make coke (the drink not the drug) healthy :(
2002
— stillness.
Life is just so much better when you’re out and about. Walking around a shop, grabbing lunch at your favorite restaurant, a cold beverage of your choice as both hydration and accessory, the fresh air and loud busy surroundings of a world constantly moving forward. I feel like the plastic bag camcorder freak from American Beauty. The pure poetry of it all.
is anyone else fascinated with the concept of reclaiming silence and boredom?
because why does it feel so freeing? no screens, no music, no distractions, just being and observing the world around you.
i mean, i wish it hadn't come this far. i wish i didn't have to "reclaim" something so natural. but at the same time it feels good to be reminded of how simple it can be to be more connected to yourself and the world around you again.
i'm such an easily overstimulated person. especially when i'm in public places i usually prefer to have headphone in and listen to music. but recently even that feels too overwhelming, so i just keep my headphones in but don't listen to music.
i know it's ironic that i'm not actually doing nothing right now as i'm typing this on tumblr but right now it's raining and it kind of feels like a treat to just sit and listen while typing.
i'm just happy that i'm starting to lean towards enjoying life in a less distracted way again. that's all.
how it feels knowing that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall
Nicolas Tarkhoff (Russian,1871-1930)
Cats by the Window, 1909
Oil on canvas
Lindau, Bodensee, 08/24
just to prove that I also go on vacation, once in a blue moon :-)
shot with Kodak Color Plus 200 on my trusty old Revue BF3, a cheap late 90s point and shoot camera that i found in my mom's basement four years ago.
i will always always without a doubt prefer film over digital. not because i'm snobby but because I'm old and it makes me feel warm and cozy and reminds of a time when I perceived the world differently.
About journaling and more.
the ups, the downs, and the in betweens.
I've been journaling pretty regularly for the past 8 years (with little breaks in between). Ever since I started I pretty much decided my journals would all be "anything goes", meaning there would be no strict guidelines on formatting or content. I also call it creative journaling for that reason, as it encompasses far more than just regular journal entries. As such, the contents of my journals are colorful accumulations of diary entries, creative writing such as poems, essay-like writing, collages, drawings, doodles, wild scribbles, etc.
As with any hobby or habit, my relationship to journaling has changed a lot in the past few years. I've experienced some journaling fatigue, sometimes also accompanied by guilt that I was not keeping up with my habit. As we all know life sometimes gets in the way, and even though it often helped me to write out my thoughts, if I was going through prolonged stress, it sometimes felt like journaling about it made me feel worse. I rarely had energy to express myself creatively and every written entry would just be me venting the same feelings over and over, creating a strange cycle that seemed to amplify my misery instead of alleviate it.
My current journal has roughly 16 pages left. I started it in January 2023, feeling a bit fatigued from the prior year where journaling first started feeling quite weary to me, possibly due to a lot of stressful big life transitions happening. I decided I would focus more on the visual/creative aspect and only write when I truly felt like it. Then more stressful stuff happened, and I lost my passion for journaling almost entirely.
It was then that I noticed that when I had the urge to put my thoughts somewhere but felt fatigued, writing with pen and paper made me feel limited, like my hands couldn't keep up with my thoughts. When I needed an immediate outlet to express my thoughts, just opening a word document and going at it would make me feel more satisfied than grabbing my journal and writing them down by hand.
I was going to write all of this down in my journal too, but I decided to put it here instead, just because I felt like it. I've been wanting to get into blogging forever and would like to eventually have a more personal blog but tumblr is close enough for now, as it is my old homebase in a way.
Like many people on here, my teenage years were defined by tumblr. I spent over ten years on this platform (on a diff. account from 2009-2017) mostly just soaking in content and not really expressing myself. Admittedly I wasted a lot of time on here instead of having real life experiences but somehow it still felt like a less brain-rotting way of consuming content than whatever we have going on these days on the big three.
That's why I ultimately decided to come back here, at least for a while.
{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}
knife theory
if the pain you caused me was something straight-forward and physical like a knife to my heart, how would i react?
in one universe i would look you dead in the eye as you twist and turn the knife inside of me instead of begging you to stop.
in another universe i would leave the knife in me until scar-tissue grows over it and it becomes part of me.
in the last universe i pull the knife out from where you put it in between my ribs and stab you with it as i bleed to death. then lick the blade and let the iron of us both be my last meal.
Yasuko Nagai, 1987
The Washington Post, May 19, 1912
to the version of myself who got me this far,
you weren't supposed to die this way. despite the circumstances in which you had to go, i wanted to let you go with grace, for you gave me what i needed, when i needed it the most.
you didn't deserve the pain they put you through, or the pain i put you through. you deserved to receive the same love that you brought to other people.
at first i wanted to save you, i wanted to retrieve the memory of what it was like to be you. at least hold on a little bit longer. i didn't want to let you go, but i had to.
i take the goodness you left, and i carry it with me in my new shell. just know, i won't ever forget what you had to go through to become me.