You Couldn’t Even Pry Post-Azkaban Wolfstar From My Cold, Dead Body. They’re SO Important To Me.

hypothetically let's say getting struck by the killing curse is similar to getting stuck by lightning

now with that we can say that hypothetically baby Harry Potter could lose part of his hearing from that so may I introduce deaf Harry Potter

from age one to six he can't hear at least 80% of what people are saying. He gets by. The Dursleys always yell at him and aggressively point at what he was supposed to do. After a while he generally understands what's going on by catching a few words from their yells and context clues. He got glasses but only because he kept missing the edges of doorways and earning bruises that raised teacher's eyebrows. They worried about them assuming they were abusing him (obviously not look he's wearing glasses 🤪) Harry taking speech therapy at school bc his parents don't like the way he talks

Seven year old Harry Potter getting kidnapped by an Azkaban escapee and a book keeper covered in scars. Sirius and Remus assuming Harry just didn't like them or trust them because well they did kidnap him. They thought for weeks that Harry was just giving them the cold shoulder. They only figured it out when Harry would stand real close to the speakers attached to the record player and bounce to the bass.

Seven (and a half) year old Harry Potter finally getting hearing aids with his two dads and flipping the fuck out when he hears them for the first time. Harry Potter running around and following Sirius and Remus throughout their daily habits to learn all the new sounds. Birds chirping in their front yard. Remus' laugh and Sirius' whispers of good morning.

Harry Potter pressing his ear against the side of the fridge to hear the hum coming from inside. Harry learning that the vacuum cleaner is a lot louder than he thought it was and ripping his hearing aids off the moment he sees Remus lugging it out from the closet. Harry learning school is way louder than he thought it was and having to take his hearing aids case with him to school in his pocket because he kept taking them off so much. Harry finding out that his parents cooking in the kitchen makes a lot of fascinating noises and accidently burning the palm of his hand on the oven because he wanted to hear the sizzling better. Harry almost giving Sirius a heart attack by the scream he let out from the burn. Harry realizing he makes noise too and what he thought was a silent way to make his chest buzz was actually humming.

Harry Potter and his two dads learning Sign together at a community class in the library. Harry finding more kids like him with hearing aids and some who don't talk at all and only sign. Harry finding all forms of families learning to sign and learning he's not so alone at all. Harry taking speech therapy until he's 12 so he can communicate with his hearing friends at the park too

Deaf Harry Potter wearing his hearing aids with pride as he prances into the great hall for the first time. McGonagall's stomach dropped, realizing she has a combination of James Potter and Sirius Black on her hands now and the next seven years of her career. Deaf Harry Potter teaching his friends curse words in sign and getting his parents called up to the school. Deaf Harry earned no punishment from his parents, both of them laughing their asses off. Ron learning Sign through private lessons with Harry after classes. Hermione scouring the library for books on sign language and learning through the pictures and Harry's corrections.

The Gryffindor quidditch team communicating with Sign in air. Harry over using the "I've heard enough." *takes off hearing aids* joke with the teachers he doesn't like he lands himself detention. Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus adjusting to Harry's flashing light alarm and making sure their curtains are tightly closed. Sirius and Remus used to flashing the light switch to get Harry's attention they start accidentally doing it in inappropriate places. Remus flashes the library lights to get his coworkers attention and causes a whole crowd of preschoolers visiting at reading hour to freak out.

In third year Harry trys contacts because he's tired of his hearing aids and glasses fighting for space on his ears. Harry at the end of third year realizing he hates contacts and goes back to glasses

Deaf Harry signing answers to his friends behind his back when the teacher isn't looking. Harry takes his hearing aids off at home bc he knows he doesn't need them but puts them back on as his dads start making dinner. He always finds comfort in the sounds of the kitchen and when dinner rolls around he keeps them on. He knows dinner is the most likely time he'll hear his parents' laughter.

I'll stop here but like I love him

Disability in fiction

This was a tough post to write. 

I saw a post about disability rep, and I kept thinking about it, and wanted to share my own takes on the topic. 

I thought about it for days, trying to figure out how to word it. Then after drafting it, I stuck it in a file for a couple of weeks, trying to decide if I could even post it. This is not a topic that can be boiled down to a simple yes/no kind of answer.

Let’s start with two examples.

1 - I have a short story I started writing (it wants to grow up to be longer, so it’s waiting for time) where my original concept was to write about an older woman who is short and has major chronic pain, and I wanted to dig into fantasy reasons why this pain exists, but at the same time, have her be able to kick ass despite being exhausted and dealing with excruciatingly painful issues.

2 - I once drafted a portal fantasy storyline wherein a young man was transported into a fantasy world, and when he was given a horse to ride, he approached it very warily. He was encouraged to mount, did so, and sat there and exclaimed in shock, “My brain isn’t exploding with snot!” because his allergies hadn’t come with him into the body he had in the fantasy world.

Both stories were designed to be fun, a bit light, maybe even cozy.

So.

In one case, the disabled character remains disabled and kicks ass anyway. And in the other case, the character is magically “healed” and no longer has debilitating allergies that had wrecked his way of life.

This is the difficult part to express: I think both storylines are valid.

Bear with me while I dig into this.

First and foremost: I completely agree that we need more representation in all forms of fiction, especially when it comes to disabled people being able to live their lives. Characters with missing limbs, or non-neurotypical brains, or anxiety & depression, or hearing issues, or sight problems, or chronic pain, or… or… you get the idea. We need all of it, and we need it to not need to be magically healed in order for a story to be considered happy and cozy. Disabled people can be happy, too.

I’m all in for this, and I wouldn’t write the stories I do if I weren’t.

However, there are also moments where I am so exhausted by my body and by everything I deal with inside of it where I do wish for that magical ability to forget that my pain exists. Or for the ability to actually process information in a straight line, or make decisions without writing a hundred lists and accomplishing nothing from them. Or to be able to lie down in a field of grass without regretting it for days while I drip snot and fight sinus-pain-induced migraines.

Sometimes I want to imagine that my life is different.

And that is one of the joys of writing. I can choose to write a story where people like me or the people I know are the heroes/heroines exactly as they are, different abilities and all. Or I can choose to write a story where the problems magically resolve.

Both can be cozy, sweet, and adorable. I can give the character with chronic pain the ability to kick ass, take names, and have a sweet reunion with her ex-girlfriend. I can show all the ways that my disabilities may define how I handle my life differently than someone else, but do not define what I can and cannot do.

But I can also daydream about a life where it’s different, the same way I can daydream about having wings, or being able to teleport. For me, imagining a day with no pain is the same as a day where I can walk through walls. It is absolutely a fantasy, and about as likely to happen.

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to be angry to see what looks like disability being erased. It’s okay to wonder why the author did that, why they magically healed someone instead of letting them be who they were. But at the same time, maybe ask why, and what point of view it’s coming from. Or look a little deeper into the story and how the resolution occurs, and the effect it does have on the character (I suspect that were I to suddenly have a day of no pain, I’d be intensely reckless, given what an idiot I am while IN pain, y’know? And WOW would I regret that later…).

And for authors, think about what you’re writing. WHY is this particular event (keeping disability, erasing it, whichever or both) happening, because the reader will take note of it. They may see things that weren’t intended, but are there as unintentional biases.

Make conscious decisions for why things happen.

Someday I want to get back to both of those examples from the start of this post; I still like both concepts. But I’ll be writing them for very different reasons, and both will be healing my soul in different ways. Different kinds of daydreams. And again, I think that’s valid, too.

really wish i was a cool girl but instead my body cannot differentiate between being dropped into a life-or-death situation and asking for some chicken salad at the deli counter

trans lives are more precious than ever

i've spent the last couple of days feeling truly sickened and hopeless, and i haven't yet figured out what it all means for my place in fandom. it has felt like there hasn't been anything i could add to the conversations taking place as someone with almost no platform, and at a time when voices far more eloquent and important than mine were already having an impact.

however, more than ever the events of the last few days have shown me how important it is to speak up, even in my tiny corner of the world, even if it's clumsy, even if I cannot see the visible impact. this should not - and cannot - be the burden for trans people to speak about alone, and i am ashamed it took me so long to say something.

trans women are women and trans rights are human rights and the world is a better place with you in it.

if you are reading this and you are trans: i love you. i love you and your life is precious and you deserve the entire world. you are a miracle. please know my inbox is always open if you ever need a place to just be Heard. i love you 🫂🫂🫂

this list is as much for me as for anyone - when i feel overwhelmed and helpless like this, it helps to know what steps i can take to make it slightly more manageable. i hope it helps 🤍

for support:

Mermaids: 0808 801 0400 or webchat (open mon-fri 1pm-8:30pm), supporting trans people under 20 and their loved ones. also runs local support groups!

Gendered Intelligence: 0800 640 8046, WhatsApp 07592 650 496, email supportline@genderedintelligence.co.uk for people over 18. also runs local/online support groups, residentials, workshops, etc. etc.!

A list of trans-friendly therapists/counsellors (accredited by GI)

LGBT Switchboard: 0800 0119 100 or webchat

AKT: supporting LGBTQ+ people aged 16-25 experiencing homelessness

for solidarity:

if you have the funds to do so, donate to support any of the charities linked above. donate to a trans person's gender affirming (life-saving) care.

reach out to your trans loved ones and make sure they know how loved, precious and vital their lives are, how tight you are holding them, and how hard you are going to fight for them.

follow TransActual's steps for taking action.

write to your local MP.

attend the emergency demonstration at Parliament Square (London) on Saturday 19th April, 1pm.

leave a message of love and solidarity on the TransPride wall of hope.

i am a therapist irl and i cannot recommend Gendered Intelligence's training on Working with Trans clients enough if you are also in this field!

for fandom:

do not look away. listen and engage and stay educated. be vocal about the harm jkr has done/is doing, have those conversations with others if you can, both irl and online, and do not leave the labour of this task to those most impacted by its harm.

dearest heart messrsrobyn (on tiktok) has put together some truly incredible resources on ethical fandom engagement, including his podcast.

idk how much longer i will be in this space, but however long it ends up being, i intend to be loud about this. trans folks are too important not to be.

*I'm happy to add to/remove links on here as needed.

New fic alert! Silver fox

(Sirius made me do it)

Happy birthday loml. I usually project my confusion and anxiety and pain on you but me and sirius decided you needed to have a happy one and get to be an old man celebrating.

✨ this or that ✨

tagged by @neege, thank you! <3 tagging @brandileigh2003 @raindragon-20 @missmoonfrost

coffee shop or flower shop

au or fix-it

enemies to lovers or childhood friends

angst or fluff

love at first sight or pining

modern au or historical au

soulmates or unrequited

fake dating or secret dating

break up & make up or proposal & weddings

get together or established relationship

oblivious pining or domestic fluff

hurt/comfort or crack

meet the parents or meet cute

this was way harder than it should’ve been omg i’m awful at making decisions/picking favorites 😭

why would you stop when he’s so cute!!! look at him!! 💞💓💓💘💞💕💞💝

I need to stop drawing him. He’s most of my page. I just can’t stop the demons and the demons want Remus Lupin. All. The. Time.

Me: wow drawing is so hard, I'll never do it again!

Also me with no experience in drawing animals: dog

...so anyways, dadfoot!! made him completely black so I can avoid understanding how furs work!!

GET. AI. OUT. OF. FANDOM. Stop making headcanons with it, stop making fanfic with it, stop making fanart with it. If I see one more "asking chatgpt *blank* about *character/characters in a fandom* I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. Use your own fucking brain, stop asking AI to do everything. You could even ask other real people what they think. Just. Stop. Using. AI. In. Creative. Spaces.

honestly floored by the response to this post omg 🥺🥺

anyways i’m here to say the first chapter is up!! i hope you enjoy :)

@moonandstarshangoutinbars it has been posted!!

hiii here’s a little peek at my christmas fic featuring trans remus! (he’s disabled as well but it’s not mentioned in this bit)

i’m aiming to have it all posted by christmas :)

ok i’m gonna go hide and not check tumblr for a while now