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The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

Me A Real Nigga: “real niggas don’t care about a little leg and coochie hair, eczema, cellulite, stretch marks, discoloration, and ECT!”

Spiritual Alchemy : The Ego

…Excerpt from The Book of Lambspring…

“A savage Dragon lives in the forest,  Most venomous he is, yet lacking nothing:  When he sees the rays of the Sun and its bright fire,  He scatters abroad his poison,  And flies upward so fiercely  That no living creature can stand before him,  Nor is even the Basilisk equal to him.  He who hath skill to slay him, wisely  Hath escaped from all dangers.  Yet all venom, and colours, are multiplied  In the hour of his death.  His venom becomes the great Medicine.  He quickly consumes his venom,  For he devours his poisonous tail.  All this is performed on his own body,  From which flows forth glorious Balm,  With all its miraculous virtues.  Here at all the Sages do loudly rejoice. “

~~Another long post but please bare with me. This applies to all of us.~~

The Ouroboros is the Dragon biting its own tail. This is a representation of the power of the ego mind and the dissolution of this part of yourself. I find the alchemical viewpoint on the ego flawed to a certain extent.

Ego: is the part of all of us that has been programmed by our subconsciousness/ our upbringing/ our environment. It is the part of us that is in essence who we think we are. This is also the part of us that lives in the lower 3 chakra of survival. These are also where the animal instinct lives.

Alchemical Process: Is to break down the ego. In the explanation above it states “ in the hour of his death” is speaking of the ego. We are told that it is the process of destroying the ego into its base form of spirit. Via working with the elements you impart your spirit into it and in the process of working with the physical you will effect the spiritual. One can also do this via mediation on the Tree of Life. It can be done via the practice of Yoga, also the cleansing and working of chakra. 

Now that we see where the ego comes from and the process of destroying it. Lets dive into what that means for us as a collective. The ego is a part of you as much as your hand is. It has learned from its surroundings to make you who you think you are. It is the part of you that wants to be validated. To be right all the time. To feel like it “belongs” to something bigger than itself. It will be the 1st part of you likely to feel slighted or start an argument even though in hindsight it really wasn’t a big deal. It is the animal you that will fight if cornered.

As you can see I am explaining the ego as “IT”, a thing but this is how gurus and sages want you to see it. Although IT is a part of you you can’t just “destroy” the ego, just like you can’t cut off your hand. What happens when you corner an animal? The creature fights back..correct? It’s the same thing with the ego. We can’t destroy it for IT is at the moment YOU. I was under the impression (self taught of course) from spiritual books/youtube that the ego needed to be dissolved. In some cases many teachers mention the destruction of the ego mind. Well what do you think happens when one tries to kill anything with consciousness? It fights back.

This is my experience.

The soul will make attempt after attempt to teach the mind. The mind can’t comprehend spirit since it can’t be explained by the senses. These experiences are seen, by the ego, as being done to us instead of for us. The ego is quick to pass the blame onto another never seeing itself as the cause of the effect.

Here is the main point…. the ego can’t be destroyed but it can be joined. This is the case of the previous emblems of polarity. Joining the heart and mind. The heart can understand spirit and what it is showing, but one needs to watch how one is acting and reflect often on the previous experience.

I never really knew what that meant till spirit showed me. Time after time I was given experience to show me my actions were affecting others. I said to myself “that’s not me” and “I’ve grown” and truth is it was only an excuse. I actually had to agree to myself that it was in fact…ME! I had to take responsibility for my own actions on how I make others feel. You can’t imagine how hard that was. To admit that all my reading and learning was for the edification of my ego. The male power of learning “occult knowledge” did not put into a tangible format something I could understand.

I had to stop and review the past. See how I talk to others. See my reaction and how it was handled. Know that in the moment I used “well I’m being funny” as an excuse to put others down. This was in no way intentional, but the end result was not putting anothers feeling before my own. To turn the other cheek and not make that off color comment. I let the ego run me instead of the other way. I saw it happening but it was like a train wreck. I couldn’t stop it or so I thought.

So the Ego can’t and does not want to die anymore than you want to step in front of a train. We can train the ego through self reflection on how to act. Use the mind at what its good at. Remember how in the past certain bad experiences made you feel. Think about yesterday and how you interacted with others. Tell your mind this is not how we want to act. I know it sounds crazy but your ego and spirit are separated.  

The apply the heart. Do unto others as you would have done to you. See that your feelings are an indicator of how others are projecting. Watching every moment now in the present and making the right decision. Even if you feel slighted, it truly is only words and feelings. Now I’m not saying to let abuse happen, but the small things which truly are small in the grand scheme of our daily lives.

One can merge the ego with the spirit. Let what you learn filter into your heart. Let the feeling flow but redirect the anger through the heart and not let the ego answer for you. Be more forgiving, even though you really don’t want to. That resistance is your ego. Don’t destroy/kill/dissolve your ego but let it pass your physical knowledge of your world around into the feeling of love.

The ego does not want to die. So why “kill’ it? Let it work for you and with you. Train it to see the emotion and not react. Let the reaction come from the heart. I found out that we are not supposed to be connected to the universal mind….but be connected to the universal heart! Humans are heart based. We are letting our environment keep us in the animal instinct of survival.

How to read a scientific paper

Step 1: begin at the beginning

read the title

get excited for cool science

note the authors 

get mad at them for having more papers than you

spend ten minutes wondering if you’d have been better off going to whatever institution they’re at

die a little inside

Step 2: the abstract and introduction

read the abstract

skip right to the introduction because you’re not completely sure what they’re talking about and maybe that will clear it up

alright now we’re talking

understand the entire first paragraph of the introduction

mostly get the second and third paragraphs

skip over the technical bit at the end because boring

Step 3: the results (aka the good stuff)

read the first paragraph

really not get what’s being said

skip right to figure 1

read the figure caption

call it good, you got the jist

repeat for the remaining figures

Step 4: give up

this paper really isn’t answering the question you had in the first place

you’ll just cite it later it’s fine

Step 5: keep doing science!

fail because of some unexpected and puzzling problem

spend 2-6 weeks troubleshooting and getting nowhere

decide to do another literature search to see if anyone else has had this issue

find the same paper you read before cited a bunch

Step 6: reread

actually like read it this time

get to the end 

find the answer to your question

die a little inside

wonder why you didn’t just read it fully to begin with and save yourself weeks of work

Step 7: follow citations to another paper that looks relevant

repeat entire cycle

wonder why science is so hard

Seek Balance. Be Righteous. #Maat