Carmy Was Really Like If My Girl Wants A Star She Can Have A Star. If My Girl Wants Chaos Menu She Can

I am so not sports

23 feb 2024

I am so unathletic (it upsets me a lot don’t worry) but I’m very poetic and I like to think it makes up for it

No I cannot do a flip into the water but I CAN wax poetic about how the light from the sunset hits the surface and maybe that’s better 🤷‍♀️

(No this isn’t because I saw a video of someone flipping into a lake and or couldn’t lift suitcases whatever are you talking about)

Anyways,

I need to the chained up the second autumn starts

14 sept 2024

The boys at school have starting wearing jumpers again. I should be chained up and only released when they’re in short sleeve shirts again. Send troops to contain this teenaged girl gnawing at a mid boy because he’s got a jumper on.

Anyways,

the stress the nhs would be under is CRAZY

next time I get this obsessive over/start liking a guy, I'm going to voluntarily sign myself into a mental institution as sam puckett did in that now deleted episode of iCarly, iLost My Mind, when she thought she was insane for liking the mr. freddie benson

i appreciate the thought i really do

27th jan 2024

my dad got me a cactus with purple flowers because purple is my favourite colour, the flowers were fake and hot glued onto the very real very alive cactus.i pulled them off to get the hot glue off of the cactus and showed him how horrible it is that they hot glued flowers onto an alive plant, he says he got it because i like purple and now ive ripped the purple off. its some pained metaphor but its sweet how he tries

anyways,

Being sick sucks so bad

13 aug 2024

I’ve been sick with some stomach flu recently and just remembered how horrible it is to need to throw up (it’s so bad) BUT the worst thing is that it’s been a week and I’ve not been able to stand up without being really nauseous?? Like if I stand up slowly it’s fine I just get a little ache but if I just go from laying to sitting up or sitting to standing too quickly I feel like vomiting AND SOMETIMES I DO

this sucks and I hate it here.

Anyways,

Bathroom morning hope

21 mar 2024

Ive coined a new term,

Bathroom morning hope, when I walk into the bathroom in the morning and the sun always shines brighter in there and it’s bright and big and beautiful and I have a small seed of hope that today won’t be like all of those other days and we’ll be happy and calm and I think I’ll be ok for those few minutes in bathroom morning hope.

anyways,

I feel freaky

9 jun 2024

Recently I’ve had the strange sensation of being a bug trapped in a jar. Like I’m a little cricket that a kid caught and is keeping in an old jar with holes poked in tinfoil covering the top. Strange sensation indeed…

Anyways,

hey i know i asked for constructive criticism but what i actually wanted was for you to tell me i'm extremely talented. and also pretty. sorry if that was unclear

THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO A PERSON EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAPPENED TO ME

19th Jan 2024

Firstly, I was being very dramatic yesterday (when am I not) but when I walked out of chemistry (for the second time that day) ((after a too much to be a coincidence amount of hand touching but that’s for you to decide)) and meet kakak in the front of the auditorium and he walks past us, looks directly at her and DOESNT STOP UNTIL HES OUTSIDE. to the point that she points it out and asks who he is. i will bash my own head in. And at lunch she comes over to steal my food and all anyone can talk about is how gorgeous she is for the next ten minutes.

i am going to spend the rest of my life in her shadow.

anyways,

i know this is basically gospel already

but keith with physical touch as a love language. not because he wasnt held as a child or anything but because his mom actually like held him a LOT and now thats just how he recognizes and reciprocates affection

he’s always shoulder to shoulder with someone or has his hand on the back of someone’s neck not in a weird way but in a like. “i am here i am watching your blind spot for you and you will be safe”

with lance especially

always a hand on his lower back or between his shoulderblades where the scars from the rover incident are

tucking a hand in the pocket of lance’s jeans when they’re standing in the kitchen together

holding onto his ankle if his feet are in keiths lap

keith just keiths like that. yk?