The Original Goods (New And Improved Edition) And Shen Qingqiu Lite

this clip makes me so emotional. i feel like this sometimes, at night especially. That the whole wide world may swallow me whole. That i’m wide-eyed in the face of god. that I’m not a victim of smallness but rather its loving disciple.

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The biggest question I ask myself is why tf did I write a comedy based story when I know absolutely nothing about comedy

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Beast Tamer Wife AU.

Shen Yuan transmigrates into a wife and starts fighting for Luo Binghe's favor. Not for the sex or the prestige or anything. Those are nice but not as nice as the beasts that Luo Binghe brings back sometimes. He needs those.

WAIT WE COULDNT BEFORE

there are only two genders btw. people who are alive and people who are fucking dead

a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town

academy

adventurer's guild

alchemist

apiary

apothecary

aquarium

armory

art gallery

bakery

bank

barber

barracks

bathhouse

blacksmith

boathouse

book store

bookbinder

botanical garden

brothel

butcher

carpenter

cartographer

casino

castle

cobbler

coffee shop

council chamber

court house

crypt for the noble family

dentist

distillery

docks

dovecot

dyer

embassy

farmer's market

fighting pit

fishmonger

fortune teller

gallows

gatehouse

general store

graveyard

greenhouses

guard post

guildhall

gymnasium

haberdashery

haunted house

hedge maze

herbalist

hospice

hospital

house for sale

inn

jail

jeweller

kindergarten

leatherworker

library

locksmith

mail courier

manor house

market

mayor's house

monastery

morgue

museum

music shop

observatory

orchard

orphanage

outhouse

paper maker

pawnshop

pet shop

potion shop

potter

printmaker

quest board

residence

restricted zone

sawmill

school

scribe

sewer entrance

sheriff's office

shrine

silversmith

spa

speakeasy

spice merchant

sports stadium

stables

street market

tailor

tannery

tavern

tax collector

tea house

temple

textile shop

theatre

thieves guild

thrift store

tinker's workshop

town crier post

town square

townhall

toy store

trinket shop

warehouse

watchtower

water mill

weaver

well

windmill

wishing well

wizard tower

ThanksgivingTM

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

As much as I love Airplane manages to fix things between Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu during the well mission fix its, they tend to skip over the potentially hilarious ripple effects.

Consider:

Shang Qinghua manages to tell Liu Qingge that Shen Qingqiu wasn't trying to kill him before the misunderstanding can get worse and then babbles a bunch of other stuff about how everyone's misjudging SQQ and he's not a young master, etc.

-> Relations between all the peak lords get way way better

-> SQQ does not try to steal Luo Binghe from LQG at the entrance test

-> Airplane gets a frantic and enraged message from the System two minutes before the whole entrance test is over telling him Luo Binghe's not going to make it into CQMS

-> Frantic SQH arrives to find Qiong Dong disciples trying and failing to remove a frantic little lotus who refuses to stop digging because "someone will see, someone will take me, I have nowhere to go!"

-> SQH loudly announces he will take the kid because An Ding always needs the numbers

-> A bunch of the other stragglers (inspired by Binghe's refusal to leave) take this to mean them too and well SQH can't exactly back out of this or he'll loose Binghe.

-> An Ding disciples already collected enough new kids to fill the existing leisure houses so it's sleepover at Shizun's until the new ones are built

-> Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu glaring daggers at Shang Qinghua at the next peak lord meeting for "stealing" LQG's presumed new disiciple. Exhausted expressions from Yue Qingyuan for adding a dozen or so kids over capacity without warning

-> SQH gets back to his house after the meeting to discover no one told the new kids An Ding is for cowards yet: there's a bemused Mobei-Jun sitting in the centre of a children circle getting his hair braided by two little kiddos while he tames Binghe's mess.

-> Secret Demon Husband Defence Squad has now formed

-> System must now rethink everything about the plot

Legit cackled

Even as a zelink shipper whenever people refer to Link and Zelda as soulmates it makes me laugh, cause yeah you're not wrong they totally are but Ganondorf is also technically their soulmate in that regard? The poly shippers have gotten around that issue but for everyone else he's literally born to third wheel. No wonder he's pissed, not only does he never get to realize his ambitions he's gotta watch that awkward teenage romance over and over for eternity. It's like he keeps scrolling past his NOTP and the block button isn't working. Bottling the princess just pisses off the other one, and the other one has the invincibility of a Nokia cell phone. What's a born hater to do

oki i just had a funny airplane headcanon

what if airplane's original body looks like, practically identical to luo binghe's pretty boy phase? like an absolute beauty, but not exactly the most masculine looking

and airplane, who's ideal body type is muscular and tall and masculine and shit, always wanted to somehow achieve that

so yeah, he wrote mobei jun to be his ideal man. the type of body and personality he wished he had. but he wrote luo binghe to be like "what if i went to super hell and came out of it swol as fuck? what if i just had a training arc and then i was sexy and muscular and strong and cool?"

so luo binghe is just, pure wish fulfillment body-type wise

but it just makes for a really funny and uncomfortable situation when/if someone figures out what airplane's og body looked like LMFAO

like, bear with me, but consider like... some sort of wife-plot bullshit that "reveals your true form" or someshit, and no one knows quite what to expect when that beam hits shang qinghua, because "what's it gonna reveal? a hamster? lmfao" but then instead of that, it's a twinky version of luo binghe and everyone is THOROUGHLY confused

shen yuan obvs would catch on first and probably break a fan at the realization lmfao (especially bc now, due to his fondness for this appearance, he's forced to think of fucking airplane as hot. BUT ALSO, THAT FUCKING HACK OF AN AUTHOR WITH HIS FUCKING SELF INSERTING BULLSHIT)

luo binghe having a "what the fuck do i have OTHER long lost relatives?!?!" reaction

mobei jun like "hm... yeah i'd still tap that" bc his only real consideration is whether this change in appearance would change their bed arrangements lmfao

airplane out here like "oh. wow. i'm Fucked" bc he has no explanation for this shit

peak entertainment

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