Josephine When The Inquisitor And Blackwall Start Kissing During His Trial:

Lainey Molnar

pissing off every noble in Kirkwall, one ruined appointment at a time

[teen Eskel, Geralt, and Gweld riding horses and talking about monsters]

Eskel: Incubus

Geralt: I can never remember what the difference between an incubus and a succubus is so while I'm looking that up I need you to hold Roach’s reigns and lead. *lets go of reigns to grab notebook*

Eskel: *frantically grabs at Roach’s reigns while still trying to lead scorpion*

Gweld: An incubus grows down from the ceiling and a succubus grows up from the floor I think.

Geralt: *scribbles notes furiously*

So just to be clear, during Trespasser the Winter Palace elven population consists of:

Briala’s spies, if Briala is still around;

Leliana’s spies;

Qunari spies;

Solas’s spies.

Maker’s breath, it’s no wonder they’re all tripping over one another’s plans.

But more importantly, can we take a moment to think about the following elven servants who undoubtedly exist:

The elf who is really, genuinely not a spy

The elf who is on all four sides at once

Now imagine them having a conversation.

You’re welcome.

nothing is funnier to me than dueling for Josephine’s hand from Lord Ortano’s perspective because he admitted he didn’t know that the Inquisitor and Josephine were serious and thought it was just an affair of circumstance. 

like the guy accepted the duel because he thought that the Inquisitor was just trying to get publicity and he was like “oh yeah, we can totally fight. this will really help the both of us in terms of the public eye” and thought it was just gonna be a show fight with trash talking, but nope, turns out the Inquisitor was actually trying to kill him for Josephine and he didn’t learn this until well into the duel 

(right before taking the inquisitor to halamshiral)

josephine: I want to hear those three little words.

inquisitor: I love you.

josephine: that’s sweet, but try again.

inquisitor: fine. I will behave.

nothing is funnier to me than dueling for Josephine’s hand from Lord Ortano’s perspective because he admitted he didn’t know that the Inquisitor and Josephine were serious and thought it was just an affair of circumstance. 

like the guy accepted the duel because he thought that the Inquisitor was just trying to get publicity and he was like “oh yeah, we can totally fight. this will really help the both of us in terms of the public eye” and thought it was just gonna be a show fight with trash talking, but nope, turns out the Inquisitor was actually trying to kill him for Josephine and he didn’t learn this until well into the duel