Family

Hello again.

It has been a while since I have blogged and ranted and vented my emotions, feelings and thoughts. Although not much has changed, a lot still has changed. 

To believe I would graduate after three years without any problems or bumps along the road was very naive of me. Reaching the end of my third year of uni only to find out I have to resit an exam, resulting in me not graduating with my friends has shattered me. I have not much to say about that apart from how disappointed I am at myself. However, this has also shown a lot about the people I thought I had surrounded myself with. The people I thought that would always be there for me, proven to be very wrong indeed. I have met some amazing friends along the way and it has taken me 3 years to realise how shit I am at making and choosing friends. I had not learned how to do this up until the end of my third year of uni. I don’t regret anything. In fact I am glad a lot of things happened the way they did, otherwise I wouldn’t have met the love of my life and I wouldn’t have met the most amazing friends in these last couple of months. It is very cliche indeed but life sometimes has to be full of cliches and cheese for you to realise how good life can be. 

I have been through a lot and many people do not know that about me. The family I thought would stand by me in difficult times could not be part of my difficult times because of their narrow mindedness and shallow mindedness and their greed and love for reputation. I have always and will always adore my parents but they have let me down so much lately, sometimes even to the point of not being able to come back from it. I have endured a lot of wounds and suffered a lot through the words that had been chucked at me by my sisters and parents but it has only made me realise.... 

You find your soulmate, your love, your life, in that one person, and everything else does not matter anymore. Every heartbreak, every let down, every pain, all can be forgotten with just one moment with that one person. That one person I can call at any time of the day and he will always stand by me. And that is what I have realised... you lose a lot of people, you fall out, you stop calling your home “home” but you gain that one person, who you want to spend the rest of your life with. He or She will become your home, your shelter, your life and I can honestly say, I have never felt so safe in my life before as I do now with him by my side. I’m proud to be his. 

Its the time where you have to think about what you really want! Do you want to live to please others? Go out there and find your soulmate, find your love, find your life and live it. To the fullest. Everyone deserves a better life, only a few know how to make their life a better life. You will get there. In time. 

xoxo

Facebook is manipulating all of us.

Going through a bad phase..

I've had a very bad couple of months. I found out I failed a module and couldn't graduate along with my friends and had to resit the exam so I'm doing this waiting game of finding out my results.. With that being said, that isn't as bad as being so far away from my love. It's tough. Growing up in a Muslim family from Iraq and being kurdish, I have just realised how much that impacts on my life. My parents are nothing but narrow-minded shallow human beings who are in the way of their daughters happiness. My mother has recently told me she will abandon me as a daughter if I carry on seeing my boyfriend who is Portuguese and not kurdish. Only because it doesn't look good for my family's reputation. I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who is affected by parents and families like this and it is heartbreaking that us girls who grow up in such an environment cannot stand up for ourselves without being shunned and forced into a marriage we are not happy with. Girls like me and around the world need to find each other and support each other for the happiness we believe in. It's hard as it is.. why go through with it on your own? We should be sharing each others experiences and help and support one another without feeling embarrassed or without competing. Kurdish Society has taught nothing but hatred to others if one is better than you. It is absolutely disgraceful and I refuse to be part of a society with such way of thinking. I have a lot to say about this and I shall blog my heart out about this matter until it is recognised and seen by everyone. I will not give up for what I think is right. Xoxo

The Tory Burch Ella bag is a nice big tote to carry everything under the sun.

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

Rick Warren (via staypozitive)

∞ Are You Satisfied? ∞

Silly little things..

Its one thing to argue with your parents or your siblings or even with the best friend, but a complete different thing when arguments happen between you and your partner. The partner you’ve chosen yourself who ticks all of your boxes and understands you well (at least thats what you thought). A difference in opinions seem to happen quite often in my relationship. Being 300 miles apart over the summer makes situation even more complicated than it can be. Us girls never know what we want and I’ve only realised this when I first got with my boyfriend of 5 months. I’m happy to say that I’ve never gone to bed mad at him because its just not the right thing to do. Yesterday, it was our 5 month anniversary and I was waiting patiently and super excitedly for a message off him which unfortunately i didnt get so I thought i’d message first (i thought maybe he forgot for the second time!). So writing a message first really wasnt the issue. However, I did get upset about the reply: “Nawh cutie, and you.” Maybe I’m new at relationships and overly clingy but surely a little more effort wouldnt harm anyone right? Later he then decided to facetime me at 1am, so I confronted him about it. And looking back I wish I never did. Once again he found a way to make it look like im in the wrong for telling him to facetime him in the nights… well i dont know about you guys but 1 am isnt exactly the night. 

After a few hours of talking it was all resolved and I couldnt have asked for a better anniversary than to spend it with him (even if it was just over facetime). 

Its never easy to tell someone about the new ideas and goals you want to achieve in life because in the back of your head you’re always going to think that you will be judged for that ‘oh so stupid idea’ that is just sooo unoriginal. Having someone who supports you is essential! a loved one can make such a huge difference to your day and your future.  This blog may have been a stupid idea and my life might seem boring to a lot of people (including myself) but it is my way to dish it all out. But having to argue with a loved one about this idea would have never crossed my mind….

Yoga

My first ever yoga session completed. I feel no different than before, just exhausted from what I felt like was an hour of lying down and inhaling, exhaling, and of course the random ‘ommm shanti,ommm shanti’ chanting. However, I would still recommend it! Definitely worth a try to see how you feel about it. I did like the way my mind just went blank for a whole hour and I had nothing but shanti on my mind (shanti means peace btw).

Free yourself.

Xoxo

It’s 2:06am and I’m awake with nothing but the thought of you and I. You keep me up at night which is ironic because during the day the thought of you does nothing but make me want to sleep so I can forget about you for a little while.

B.L letters I never sent (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

My days and nights since last week! 

Too pretty 🙆💁

The finishing touch on being #GRAMMYs ready? A pop of color, fabulous makeup and a fun, feisty attitude. Good luck, COVERGIRL @katyperry!