Latest Posts by pistachio69 - Page 3

"i bet i was someone influential and famous in a past life!"

76 pigs, 349 chickens, 1297 flies, 98 trout, & the 7 year old son of a sheep herder who died from an infected rat bite in 1498:

For lunch im going to be having gods forgiveness and a 5 hour energy

every time I need to make a decision I flip a coin it falls in my mouth and I choke till I hallucinate the answer

it’s so hard being your father’s son (female)

this is my buddy joey, we consider him a lesser form of life

omg maybe life is worth living [i had a decent day] —> i cannot be saved [the slightest inconvenience occurs] —> i am a fucking god and everyone loves me [someone laughed at my joke] —> i am going to kill myself [i feel a little bit unwanted because of someone’s reaction]

and this shit just goes on and on and NEVER stops

jumped*

a man just jerked off the emperor state building

we’ve made history !! first convicted felon in offfice…

submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for

you know what? Fuck you. *turns your strong and stoic and serious character into a crying, traumatized, whimpering, curled up mess in the floor*

Be so completely yourself that everyone wants to kill you

say my name in the mirror three times and i'll show up and pass you a blunt

Oh you want to sit at our table. Fat chance. We're the Imagineers. We craft dreams.... we don't sit with nobodies.

i think i suffered enough to be reasonably evil

I feel like whatever could be achieved through Ayahuasca could also be achieved just by walking around without a phone

flavor of the day

a quick hook up with yer mother b4 my eternal damnation !!

Therians be like

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

if a can of ravioli fell down and started rolling at me and my girlfriend i would Protect her

30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)

dir. david slade

“my trauma made me funny” and the trauma in question is their upper middle class parents getting an amicable divorce. and they’re not funny