Me And Who

keeping wild animals as pets is bad. except me. let me into your house

love can be stored in the mouth if you fuck it into me hard enough

support his goals and be his personal pornstar

they should invent dry humping that happens to me

there’s a special type of fun that comes with collaring a new puppy. taking them to pick out their own collar, perusing over colors and sizes and designs until we find the one that just fits them perfectly. then all that’s left is to put a tag on it and click it around that pup’s sweet neck, marking them as mine~

the fact that i woke up from a nap and not only did everyone miss the opportunity to let me wake up already filled with my boxers pulled down, but i instead woke up all sweaty and hot and delirious!!!! (sadly not in a good way!) no fair :’(

even a forehead kiss would have a maladjusted freak like me bricked the fuck up. to be honest

the type to cry during sex because i love you so much. god youre too pretty, god you feel too good. god im so lucky, god i love you

did yuo know? if yoyre a dog you can kiss other dogs. youcan do other stuff too i think..

computer how do I kiss someone through a screen. computer how do I pull him through the screen so I can cuddle him. computer. computer do you hear me