My Favourite Button Ever Is "open Link In New Tab"..

Ever since I was a little girl ive always wanted to open the emergency exit door

not now kitten daddy's being crucified

Early morning are so beautiful it's so mean that they put them in the early morning

MELT

[first day as a hostage negotiator]

bank robber: these rich fucks ruined me life! I want ten million dollars and a helicopter

me: bitch me too. I'm switching sides

why does cannibalism always have to be a metaphor for something what if im just hungry

please don’t be mean to me i will literally be on my deathbed replaying it in my head asking myself why i’m such a unique annoyance to society

You can believe in magic, but watch out.

sory i bought polymer clay earings from uour wifes etsy store and cast one of her thumprints and used it to access your family safe and i stole your comically large bagof money with dolar signs painted on it

the sickness got me acting like a victorian child