Ich Bin So Stressresistent Wie Eine Sollbruchstelle.

Ich musste Cottas Fragebogen für die Jungs noch mal überarbeiten:

Name: _____________. Datum: __.__.____

1. Bist du verletzt? ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein

1.1 Wenn ja wo?____________________ 1.2 Hat sich das schon ein Arzt angesehen? ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein. 1.3 Hast du Schmerzen? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 1.4 Wenn ja, wo? ________________

2. Brauchst du einen Arzt? ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein. ◽ Weiß nicht.

2.1 Wenn ja oder weiß nicht, rede mit Cotta oder einem anderen Polizisten.

3. Bist du in der physischen Kondition, um eine Aussage zu machen? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein ◽ Weiß nicht

3.1 Ist dir kalt? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 3.2 Bist du nass? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 3.3 Ist dir schwindelig? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 3.4 Hast du Hunger und/oder Durst? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 3.5 Bist du verdreckt? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein

4 Hast du in der letzten Zeit etwas Traumatisches erlebt? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein ◽ Weiß nicht

4.1 Wenn ja, fühlst du dich bereit mit Polizisten zu sprechen? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 4.2 Wenn nein, fühlst du dich bereit mit Cotta zu sprechen? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 4.3 Wenn nein, willst du mit deinen Eltern sprechen? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein 4.4 Wenn nein, willst du mit deinen Kollegen sprechen, sofern möglich? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein

5. Wurde dir in der näheren Vergangenheit etwas verabreicht? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein

5.1 Wenn ja, weißt du was es ist? ◽ Ja, es ist _________ ◽ Nein 5.2 Wenn ja, wann? __________ 5.3 Wenn ja, wie wurde dir etwas verabreicht? ◽ Oral ◽ Injektion ◽ Anders, _____________

6. Wann hast du das letzte Mal geschlafen? _____________

7. Wer ist noch bei dir? ◽Justus ◽Peter ◽ Bob ◽ andere: ____________

8. Geht es den anderen gut? ◽Ja ◽nein

8.1 Wenn nein, wem geht es nicht gut? ◽ Justus ◽ Peter ◽ Bob ◽___________ 8.2 Was ist mit ihnen? [Es folgt sehr viel leer Platz]

9. Wurdest physisch oder psychisch schlecht behandelt? ◽Nein. ◽ Ja, physisch ◽Ja psychisch ◽ Ja beides

10. Wurden deine Kollegen psychisch oder physisch schlecht behandelt ◽Nein ◽Ja, Justus ◽Ja, Peter ◽Ja, Bob

10.1 Wie? ◽Psychisch ◽Physisch ◽Beides

11. Wurdest du in letzter Zeit hypnotisiert? ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein. ◽ Wie zur Hölle soll ich das wissen?

11.1 Wurde einer deiner Kollegen hypotisiert. ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein. ◽Keine Ahnung.

12. Habt ihr euren Fall abgeschlossen? ◽ Ja. ◽ Nein.

12.1 Wenn nein, seid ihr noch in Gefahr? ◽ Ja ◽ Nein. ◽ Fragen Sie die anderen beiden.

Sonderfrage an Peter: hast du dich mit einem Verdächtigen geprügelt? ◽Ja. ◽Nein.

Sonderfrage an Bob: Wie geht's deinem Kopf? __________________

Abschlussfrage: Hast du alle Fragen wahrheitsgemäß beantwortet? ◽Ja ◽Nein ◽Ich bin Justus

Has anyone told the BBC that they can make season 6 of Merlin or a movie or whatever with the same speacial effects budget and we would all still watch it.

Like I don't give a shit if that dragon looks like I rendered it. I just want to know if Merlin and Arthur's wedding is in the spring or would they go for a winter one, because they are not like other girls.

by PhantomEllie

Alt universe roadman AU! Set in England. Stede and Ed are roadmen, a glimpse into their life! Stede sells weed after being kicked out of his parents house for being gay, him and Ed have been dating for 4 (year 9 innit fam) Excessive use of roadman/British slag, sorry people who aren’t British.

This is a podfic recording of this ingenious fic.

Words: 9, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Podfics that Need Not Exist

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, “Calico” Jack Rackham, Oluwande Boodhari

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, McDonald’s, Slang, British Slang, British Comedy, Alternate Universe - British, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Stabbing, Weed, Vaping, Recreational Drug Use, Drug Use, Drug Dealing, British, Crime Scenes, Teen Angst, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Making Out

Movie Idea:

A French and a German guy are in love but when they want to greet each other the German sticks his hand out for a handshake and the French guy leans in for cheek kisses.

So the French guy leans in and the German sticks his hand out and accidentally rams it in the French guys stomach.

Then the German guy is super embarrassed because he fucking decked the love of his life so he decides to give the French guy those cheek kissed next time.

At the same time the French guy is also super embarrassed so he decides to go for a handshake next time.

They meet again and what happens? The German guy leans in for kisses, the French guy sticks his hand out for a handshakes and fucking rams his hand into the Germans stomach.

Next time they meet it's really awkward so they just kiss each other on the lips.

Hump Day

Something I meant to post LAST Wednesday to make @theresthesnitch smile, but I'm rubbish and it took me a whole week to actually write it

‘Da-dddddddy!’ Sirius opened his eyes just in time to see a small, blue haired whirlwind throw himself across the room and launch himself onto the bed.

‘Ooof!’ Sirius winced as Teddy landed squarely on his stomach.

‘Sorry! I’m sorry!’ Harry appeared, hurrying into the room, scooping Teddy off the bed and swinging him onto his pyjama clad hip. ‘I’ve been trying to keep him out for about an hour. He woke up early.’

‘Woke up early,’ Remus said neutrally, not looking up from the book he was reading, sitting propped up in bed, ‘Or was woken up early, hmm?’

He looked up and raised an eyebrow at Harry, who shifted guiltily, a flush just visible on his dark skin.

‘Erm…’

‘Erm indeed.’

‘What you talking about?’ Sirius sat up too, reaching out to take Teddy back from Harry who looked like he very much wanted to bolt.

‘Your son,’ Remus snapped his book shut, ‘Has been sneaking boys in and out of the house. Again.’

‘I haven’t!’ Harry began protesting. ‘He was just-‘ but he cut off as Teddy’s hair shifted from blue to dark brown and his eyes faded to grey and now it was Sirius’ turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

‘Ugh! Traitor!’ Harry flopped down onto the end of the bed. ‘I can’t believe my baby brothers sold me out.’

‘Harry,’ Sirius tried to chastise, but you could hear the smile, ‘Why? It’s not like we mind.’

‘It was late,’ Harry tipped his head back. ‘We were texting and one thing led to another and-‘

‘Yes, I don’t think we need to hear the end of the that sentence that you very much Haz,’ Remus interjected, kicking his feet and jiggling Harry’s legs.

‘I was going to say we missed each other!’ Harry kicked back. ‘You’ve got such a dirty mind, Da.’

‘Missing each other. Huh.’ Sirius lifted his hands behind his head and leant back against the head board. ‘Is that what the kids are calling it these days?’

Harry rolled his eyes. ‘All we did was sleep, Dad.’

‘Ahh yes, sleep.’ Sirius smirked. ‘Your Da and I do a lot of missing each other and sleeping. Don’t we, darling?’

‘Oh my God Dad, can you not?!’ Harry looked revolted.

‘If you say so dear,’ Remus reached over and patted Sirius leg. Sirius snatched up his wrist and brought it up to him mouth, kissing softly over the veins.

‘No,’ Teddy hijacked the moment, popping up from under the covers. ‘You didn’t sleeped! You said it was hump day! You humped!’

‘Harry!’ Both Remus and Sirius exclaimed and Harry scrambled upright.

‘No!’

‘Harry,’ Sirius said again, ‘You can’t talk about you and Cedric,’ he glanced at Teddy who was looking between them all, a big smile on his face, ‘S-H-A-G-G-I-N-G with Teds around! He’s three!’

‘I know!’ Harry spluttered. ‘I didn’t!’

‘HUMP DAY! HUMP DAY! HUMP DAY!’ Teddy chanted gleefully, bouncing up and down.

‘Well this proves otherwise!’

Harry dragged a hand down his face. ‘This is a fucking nightmare!’

‘For fuck’s sake, Haz!’ Remus had to shout over Teddy. ‘No swearing!’

‘You literally just swore!’

‘What? No I didn’t!’

‘You did, love,’ Sirius said, trying to tug Teddy downwards.

‘Oh for fucks sake!’

‘Moony!’

‘Da!’

‘HUMP DAY! HUMP DAY! HUMP DAY!’

‘Teddy!’ Sirius shouted, ‘Stop!’

Teddy fell silent a moment before saying quickly, ‘Humpday,’ once more.

‘Wednesday,’ Harry said. ‘When Teds asked why Cedric was here I told him it was because it was Wednesday and Wednesday is hump day.’

‘Why would you tell a three year old that, Haz?’ Sirius looked just as confused and affronted as before but Remus let out a noise of comprehension and sunk back into the pillows.

‘It’s a muggle saying,’ he told Sirius. ‘It means you’re halfway through the working week.’

‘No it does not!’ Sirius looked between Remus and Harry. ‘Really?’

‘Yeh,’ Harry said.

Sirius screwed his face up. ‘Merlin, muggles are weird. Sorry, Hazzie,’ he added, ‘I should have listened.’

Harry shrugged, ‘And I should have been quieter when letting Cedric out this morning.’

‘Yes, well,’ Remus began but Harry was quicker.

‘Come on trouble!’ He swung Teddy up off the bed, landed him one little foot on top of each of his own. ‘Why don’t you and me go out for breakfast. What do you say? Some man-on-man time?’

‘YAY!’ Teddy cheered, holding both of Harry’s hands tight and they slowly walked across the room together, Teddy still standing on Harry’s feet.

Remus looked torn between proud and frustrated. ‘It’s a good job you’re the worlds best big brother,’ he called across to Harry, who looked smug as he realised he was about to get away with it.

‘Love you Da!’

Remus huffed good naturedly and next to him Sirius chuckled.

‘Have a good time you two!’ He waved at Teddy who blew him a kiss. ‘Don’t rush back, H. Da and I have got a bit of missing each other to do.’

‘NO!’ Harry slammed the bedroom door shut and Sirius burst out laughing.

‘You’re a menace.’ Remus told him, rolling over onto his side and tugging Sirius down with him.

‘Good.’ Sirius said, resting their foreheads together. ‘Now then, Mr Black. It seems we have the house to ourselves.’

‘That we do,’ Remus inched forwards so their bodies were pressed together.

‘Mmm,’ Sirius rolled his hips, smiling at the audible gasp Remus let escape. ‘How about you and me celebrate Hump Day.’

@wolfstarmicrofic

I dare somebody to tell me Elmo ain't black now.

what I really like about all these vintage couple’s portraits is that there is a very certain romatic decorum kept up – certain themes and poses – which, while of course being the mainstream preferred view of couples repeated throughout many studios, are just… so nice to look at. 

this staged affection, a mix of theatricality and intimacy, the couple holding still for a couple of moments and now immortalised in a very set sequence of embraces and kisses. there is a charm to it even when I can’t tell whether this was a genuine couple portait or just actors hired by the photographer.

the kiss on the bare shoulder (eyes perfectly averted), the cheek caress, the piano and the violin, the interrupted embrace, the woman tilted back as in a half-stopped dance…

NASA Data Sonification: Black Hole Remix

In this sonification of Perseus. the sound waves astronomers previously identified were extracted and made audible for the first time. The sound waves were extracted outward from the center. (source)