Rabbit-maze - ✚. Rabbit .✚

Infinity Nikki is so fun 🥺🎀

Things I love:

Japanese Rhythm Arcade Games

Tea

allow yourself to be a beginner

Things I do:

Draw (anime girls + fashion)

Sing

Write poetry

Journal

Research aesthetics

Plan dream coords from aesthetics I like

Catalog physical music to buy

Practice therapy skills

safe for work personal journal~ 🩵

this is an about me section that will be continually updated:. ..

..: • age: 34

..: • pronouns: she/they

++ hyperfeminine sapphic ace

..: • based in California 𓆩♡𓆪

..: • married mom of 2 kids ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

..: • perpetual nerd, fashionholic, + music junkie

..: • health-centric survivor & weirdo

++ ocd, c-ptsd, spinal stenosis & cushing's

++ returning to the world post-recovery

..: • this tumblr is the journal for me to learn and remember myself, and share those pieces of myself with my friends and to find my community; the ones who share those pieces.

..: • i have other tumblrs to express specific interests of mine:

I know therapists and people online talk about being yourself.. But it doesn't seem to work for me at all.

I feel guilty for burning out after masking for a little over a year. I think my masks get assumed as an unstable sense of self by therapists.. despite my attempts to explain my experience. I don't know what's so off-putting about me when I don't mask, but everyone senses something is wrong and fake when I do.

I felt happiest when I was numb on Korlym for 3 years and unable to feel the deepest of emotions.. I feel them deeply again now and it's hard to manage, though millions of times easier than before.. but it's easiest to be numb and follow rules that are easy to find about society. It's easiest and then I don't worry about whether I feel happy or not because I wasn't feeling at all on that medication.

I made a new tumblr where I'll post about music I like, find, etc.

Tumblr

@rainbow-juicebox · musical junkie

musical discussion by @rabbit-maze

I have been crying for days over a lot of things.. it's so embarrassing.

Here's to all my homies who have/had temporary disabilities. It's hard to know where you are and where you stand. You don't want to step over people who have your problem permanently, but you know there is a place for you somewhere. Even when a disability is temporary, it exists in a moment in time. In that moment, you need help, accessibility, even if it won't matter forever. You can't walk up those stairs, read that picture, hold that pencil, whatever it is. And it matters. And you matter.

~ someone whose cushing's decided to thrust what felt like a million different temporary disabilities onto them last year